@ganymede Although only Faraday has chipped in, I don't expect anyone to come up with a 'nodeBB killer' suggestion.
This might boil down to @Testament being able to set up a fresh nodeBB install on his VM (which he sounds very close to doing). Once that's done he knows how to redo it anywhere else.
Then it's just basically picking a provider to set it up, I give you control of the musoapbox.net domain (it's freshly renewed so no need to pay for another year) and we point it to the new install. DONE.