Sexuality: IC and OOC



  • @Trix said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    Gawd! It's the first thing I DO when I come home. Never considered doing it in a game, but makes SO much sense. Boob sweat is real.

    The perk to living alone is I can start stripping as soon as the front door closes.

    I just shed clothes on the way to the bedroom then get in pjs.


  • Pitcrew

    @Cobaltasaurus said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    Especially if you take away the gender part and instead insert race/ethnicity or sexuality. If you are a white person playing a POC on a game and you don't give any thought to who that person's background has effected them you might find yourself walking straight into stereotypes.

    Yeah, to a degree, but at the same time... like, every woman I've known who's read ASoI&F has commented that no, George, no woman spends that much of her day thinking about her own titties. The accidental stereotypes come, in my experience, from writers thinking too much about how an <X> character's <X>-ness would color absolutely every interaction, more than from not considering it at all.

    So, say, if we're talking about ethnic stereotypes, it might not be ideal if I play as a black person while barely giving any consideration to their ethnicity, but I don't think it would be as bad as if I were writing every line of description and dialogue with the consideration that I need to be emphatically clear that they're black.



  • I can absolutely say that there has been more than one occasion where someone's dogged determination to flex their "see, this is what it's REALLY like to be a woman" bona fides in every possible OOC conversation has led me to conclude beyond any doubt that they're a man posing as a woman out of horniness.



  • @insomniac7809
    I haven't read those books. I will say that I'm by no means preoccupied with my own boobs, I get distracted by them sometimes. Just those days when you're having 'great body image' and you're like... My skin is soft today. Oooh, my hair is nice. My figure is bangin'! And these BOOBS!

    Direct opposite to period days when you want to like, hide under a bridge because of bloating and acne flareups and stuff.

    I agree with what you're saying. These things don't need to be belabored. Sometimes people treat non white characters as if they are unicorns and that's... weird considering how many gamers are not white. Flipping it around, that would mean that those gamers portray white characters pretty often. We should all play what's fun and make it less weird to play what we like or identify with.


  • Pitcrew

    Personally I play cis male characters because well, I know I can write that correctly and not piss off any cis males with the way I write a cis male. I really don't know that I could do a realistic female credibly and respectfully, or any other character positioned elsewhere along the spectrums of genders and sexualities. I don't know that I couldn't either, but I just think I'll leave it to the pros in case I do fuck it up and offend someone unintentionally.

    In the same vein, I don't play POCs either. Any disrespect I could intentionally or otherwise convey... I dunno. It's just a minefield.

    Any thoughts out there in the group for a guy like me?


  • Pitcrew

    I will say that I am a testicle-having man and I don't know if you guys need like, lessons in sitting down? But I have sat on my balls maybe twice in my life and it was nothing but a minor readjustment thing. How hard and fast are you sitting down? How droopy is your scrotal sac? Are you like, wearing super loose pants+boxers and swinging them back as you sit? Are you leaning way forward as you sit down? I don't understand and I feel like maybe I'm missing some key to masculine sitting.

    Maybe if I'm sitting "like a girl" I'm okay with it.

    ANYWAY. Someone up there said "I play dudes because I have weird experiences playing women" and holy shit, yes. When people think you're ICly/OOCly a woman they DEFINITELY treat you worse right off the bat. They also see you less as a threat, though.

    Of course that reverses if they find out you've got a penis, IC or OOC. Then all of the sudden you're worst of both worlds. (Unless it's IC and they're one of those shockingly large number of people who have a girldick fetish.)


  • Pitcrew

    @insomniac7809 said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    Like, every woman I've known who's read ASoI&F has commented that no, George, no woman spends that much of her day thinking about her own titties. The accidental stereotypes come, in my experience, from writers thinking too much about how an <X> character's <X>-ness would color absolutely every interaction, more than from not considering it at all.

    alt text


  • Pitcrew

    @gryphter I mean, speaking as an unpublished would-be writer and a cishet white dude...

    ...and with the important caveat that you're not committing some mortal sin by sticking to your demographics in pretendy funtimes...

    The overly pat, often-repeated aphorism that "the trick to writing women is to write them as people" is pretty much entirely correct. The basic sentiment applies more or less across whatever demographic you're talking about.

    Like, yes, different people have had different lived experiences and that shapes their outlook and personality. Of course, a cishet white dude who grew up in a rural town and joined the Marines is also going to have a different lived experience than my nerdy suburbanite upbringing, but that never seems to carry the same sort of stigma, or the same perception of an unapproachable divide.

    So, sure, consider the character's identity in terms of how they'd act. But if I'm handing out any advice, I'd say to err on the side of underdoing it versus overdoing it if you're in doubt. Like, try to avoid the pitfall of worrying about whether a character's portrayal is sufficiently female/ queer/ ethnic, worry more if you're overdoing what you'd think of as "typical" for the demographic.

    And I'm trying to avoid sounding condescending with this next bit, but, like... we all know people outside of our demographics, right? Like, as a cis white guy, I have a mother and a wife, at the very least. I have friends and coworkers who are women, gay, black, various combinations of the above. I figure most people can say something similar! So try to draw from that, instead of basing our portrayals on fictional characters based on other fictional characters based on stereotypes by straight white dude authors. (There's also the option of drawing from fiction or nonfiction by members of the demographics. It's out there!)

    I mean, there's nothing wrong with considering things like women's pockets or men's discomfort with physical proximity. But you're probably better off glossing over it than you are getting lost in the weeds about that sort of thing.


  • Pitcrew

    @Auspice said in Sexuality: IC and OOC: For the underwear-junk-adjustment? Boob adjustments. Sometimes you just gotta reach in there and fix em.

    Although not to the extent seen on a particular windy city charade that kept adjusting herself every few poses



  • @insomniac7809 said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    But you're probably better off glossing over it than you are getting lost in the weeds about that sort of thing.

    This may be true if you are aiming for ease, but I find myself drawn to people who can play trauma well and have had much deeper connections with the characters that have been through the same.



  • @JinShei
    I just blushed at the thought of adjusting my boobs where anyone other than my SO could see...

    ...but at the SAME time, if I drop a chip or something in there, I'm turning my torso and fishing that out, because screw having crumbs in my bra. If it takes more than a quick dip, I'll either grab the bottom of my bra and shake it, or excuse myself to go clean up. I woudn't even fault a CEO for this unless she didn't politely step away after a second or two of not finding it. Crumbs under your breasts are awful.



  • @Auspice said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Derp said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Ghost said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Derp I hear ya. It's weird. There's definitely a culture of shame surrounding glancing and comparing. It's a thing and everyone knows that it happens, but like a lot of things it has this weird spooky shame factor. At the urinal it's kind of weird though because it's an awkward state of things.

    I've been having a lot of conversations with my SO lately about things like that. Generally speaking, she likes to point out how a lot of girls are more comfortable touching each other than men are (braiding hair, sleep overs, sharing beds, etc), and so many men are weird about even SITTING next to each other.

    I think there's a whole metric ton of psychology and philosophy piled into why that is, and I have my own take on it that is probably far better discussed over coffee than on MSB.

    I would legit meet you for coffee to discuss, lol. If you're ever in my part of the country drop me a line.

    You should go to Ghost's preferred coffee shop. 5/5 would recommend.

    Coffee Rush. SE valley area of Phoenix (Mesa, Gilbert, Chandler). Locally owned and operated by a great family.


  • Pitcrew

    @Trix

    QFT. Seriously, the WORST.



  • @silverfox said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Trix

    QFT. Seriously, the WORST.

    The other day I lost an earring. Ah well. Found the earring but not the backing.

    HOURS LATER I had a crumb in my bra. Reached in to grab.

    ...found the backing but not the crumb. It's like goddamn Narnia in there.



  • @Auspice said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    ...found the backing but not the crumb. It's like goddamn Narnia in there.

    tumnus



  • @GreenFlashlight

    I didn’t realize until quite late that Terry Pratchett almost never described anyone except for the purpose of the narrative.

    Every character ended up looking like exactly like I imagined.



  • @Ganymede said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Auspice said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    ...found the backing but not the crumb. It's like goddamn Narnia in there.

    tumnus

    Not the time to bring up Spar Oom but crickies a lonely goat man in the closet talking to kids about magical journeys someone dial CPS.



  • @Lotherio said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    Not the time to bring up Spar Oom but crickies a lonely goat man in the closet talking to kids about magical journeys someone dial CPS.


  • Pitcrew

    @Goldfish said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    Words I said four months ago

    So alllll of that became irrelevant. Still go with Queer because "Really, I'm more on the Asexual spectrum but pan-romantic." sounds like I fell out of Tumblr and landed on planet earth. Still cis woman of color. That don't wash off.

    The roster? Boys still rule the day BUT some are LGBTQ+. One is a man of color. And a WOMAN has entered the fray. And I am enjoying her immensely. (The secret was to play a woman over 35. Even though I am not.)

    Point of this post? Apparently, I stumbled into exploring different sexualities and attractions and ages and races in my characters and I am having a lot of fun I wasn't having before. So. Get outta that rut, y'all.


  • Pitcrew

    @Lotherio said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Ganymede said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    @Auspice said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

    ...found the backing but not the crumb. It's like goddamn Narnia in there.

    tumnus

    Not the time to bring up Spar Oom but crickies a lonely goat man in the closet talking to kids about magical journeys someone dial CPS.

    To be fair it's not like he went looking for them; they showed up in the middle of the woods on his daily walk near a lamppost!

    Poor Tumnus, those little Pevensie bastards really screwed up his relatively peaceful, if a bit fearful, life.


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