When To Stop Listening To Those Voices

[saosmash]

Honestly in a busy public scene I just assume the pose was missed and redirect my energy. The scene will have moved on from whatever it was I did by the time someone scrolls back to find what they missed.

[Apos]

@Cupcake said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

If you feel you're being ignored or only minimally acknowledged in a scene, is there a healthy way to assert yourself to remind others that you're present? If you are consistently unacknowledged, how do you express your concern in a way that doesn't immediately lead others to conclude you're trying to hog the spotlight?

I know for massive scenes it's okay to page someone with an inquiry - the may have missed it in spam. I never assume in such circumstances I'm being ignored if it happens once or twice. But if I'm in a scene with half a dozen people and my poses aren't being acknowledged at all, or possibly consistently by the same people, am I just not giving enough?

What's the scene about, and what are the other players in the scene enjoying about it? How will your pose further that and help move things along? Write with those in mind and they'll probably respond to it.

[silverfox]

@Cupcake said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

If you feel you're being ignored or only minimally acknowledged in a scene, is there a healthy way to assert yourself to remind others that you're present?

So I was going to reply in the way that everyone else did, then I stood back and looked at myself.

I have someone I have decided to completely disengage with. I'm avoiding them quite on purpose because having them around me puts me into full bitch mode and I don't LIKE being in bitch mode. Thus I've missed out on a few scenes I wanted to go to because avoiding this person was more important to me. There were two times though, that the scene was important enough to my character's story I felt that I HAD to be there. In that case, I went.... and ignored their poses. Purposefully. If they joined my place, I found an excuse to leave. If someone paged me about them, I asked them to please not page me about them.

I don't even know what I would do if they paged me and asked what was up. When it comes down to it, they're not the problem. The way I find myself reacting to them is the problem.

So. TLDR, that's a really good question. I dunno.

[saosmash]

@silverfox It's okay to not like and to want to avoid a person. It is definitely okay to give yourself permission to do this. I have also done it, and it made my life better. And I've said this before, but it also probably made better the life of the person I was avoiding. RPing with people you don't like -- for WHATEVER reason -- isn't fun, and is likely to cause stress for you and the person you don't like.

(And if the person paged me and asked what was up, I'd probably just say 'I think it is best we avoid each other.' I don't think there's anything wrong with that, either.)

That said, in these specific circumstances, I'm pretty sure I was at the scene in question and that nobody there was ignoring her poses on purpose. Unless it was a different scene than the one I think it was, in which case idk.

[krmbm]

@Apos said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

What's the scene about, and what are the other players in the scene enjoying about it? How will your pose further that and help move things along? Write with those in mind and they'll probably respond to it.

But also?

Write with your enjoyment in mind. If you're not enjoying a scene, your RP won't sparkle. If it doesn't sparkle, you're more likely to get lost in the shuffle.

[Vixanic]

@cupcake - I read your initial post and basically felt like you had read my mind. I've been getting that feeling a lot lately.

OTOH, assuming that is also your ares handle, we both play on Chontio and Spirit Lake (my ares handle is @Snaik)- our times are not the most compatible, but if you see me on and you want to play, hit me up, and I'll do the same. Maybe we can be a bit of support network for each other.

[Thenomain]

@krmbm said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

Write with your enjoyment in mind.

This post does not have enough upvote buttons, so I'm quoting it again. Here, let me do it again, with a bit more emphasis:

@krmbm said in When To Stop Listening To Those Voices:

Write with your enjoyment in mind.

This is a hobby. The point of a hobby is to do things you enjoy.

Of course you know this (you @Cupcake) else you wouldn't be saying, "I'm not enjoying myself; please help." But this could probably be Rule #1. (late edit: Rule #0 is: "RL Comes First." I will go to my grave saying this.)

There is only one person you can make happy. There is only one person whose responses you can control. You.

Doing things for others can be poisonous for your well-being, but if you work with the foundation of what Krmbm said then you should be fine.