Best posts made by loke

Apologies are 'nice' but actions speak louder than words.

@downwithopp

But you still lurched her. He could have been transferred out of command. Instead you pulled a ripcord on everyone attached to that character. It's not about your motivations, it's about the effects of your decision on other people.

@scar said in An Apology to BSO and BSU.:

@auspice said in An Apology to BSO and BSU.:

I will note that the suicide of Marcus was not a single incident. He's done it on other games, too.

He did it on Unification twice and on 5th Kingdom.

So it's not like it was an accident, a mistake, or a 'one off' situation.

If abruptly tossing characters off-cam for injury counts... more than twice?

No apology necessary (especially if it is going to be filled with doublespeak) but I'm going to be real with you, you made me uncomfortable @DownWithOPP. When our paths crossed, the PMing and pressure you apply to join large scenes is irritating and eventually for me, once it became a constant that I could expect every time I signed in, bordered on aggressive.

I agree that throwing your char off-cam due to injury is not a big deal (as long as you just give people a courtesy heads up...it's not required, but it's thoughtful). Character death that can cause irrevocable emotional trauma to other characters with little to no notice on a game where that is not the status quo is...negligent of other people's feelings.

As for the aggressive-ish RP pressuring. >__< ...that sucks and is unfortunate.

@tek said in An Apology to BSO and BSU.:

@loke said in An Apology to BSO and BSU.:

@downwithopp

But you still lurched her. He could have been transferred out of command. Instead you pulled a ripcord on everyone attached to that character. It's not about your motivations, it's about the effects of your decision on other people.

And he did so within a week of me telling him I wouldn't do a Skype date with him. And he suicided the character in a scene that I was in as corpsman just to twist the knife.

I'm not sure I would call all of that intentional. Maybe careless.

@downwithopp said in An Apology to BSO and BSU.:

@auspice Uh. No. You were talking marriage and babies and shit, and I was uncomfortable with what was going on elseMU* (this was the same time as @tek for the record was doing all the weird shit with Clara/Randy, et al), so I made the move to put all my relationships to an end. I should have told you more on that, and I'm sorry. So, yes, I killed off the character, especially since it was a roster pull from a former character who informed me after I pulled the char that he wasn't supposed to be on roster, which made me feel worse. I made that decision. I'll own it.

I think the better approach would be to find a way to be direct with people. Like, "Hey, that's cool for you. I'm not into it. No hard feelings." Just, a word of advice.

@auspice said in Reasons why you quit a game...:

...I have a lot of heartbreak tied to losing spaceships.
I feel your pain. ;_; Spaceships R.I.P.

@tez
I've actually found a lot of the things you've shared here to be very true. I don't have assss much experience as a lot of people here in leading in a MU setting (some), but I have a ton of experience working on, with, etc high performing and poor performing teams (with high and low performing individuals) in a work setting.

A lot of the benefits you're describing, and interpersonal guidelines, were true there too.

We espoused and held each other accountable to:

• transparency
• direct communication and constructive criticism (there's a lot of stuff that goes into this, like agreeing on what this looks like)
• always give the benefit of the doubt, or, "default to trust" (huge)
• respect (I think the not talking about players, keeping it away from gossip, etc, falls into this territory)

We found that even if we had a great discussion about these tenets to begin with on a team, that if we didn't write them down, codify them, then they weren't really enforced as much. On the teams with well-intentions, this boiled down to them not being present in our minds. Reviewing such tenets when we did retrospectives or creating a reflex to refer to them when we felt ourselves backsliding in the moment was great to help everyone reset (sometimes it just helps when 80% of the time or more, people need to emotionally reset) to what was important and what we all wanted to strive towards. People make mistakes, forget, etc. To not account for this and think everyone is already on the same page has proven to be a naive assumption in those settings.

I think constantly revisiting is great. This is a never-ending thing. I think saying well staff just suck or people just suck is kind of a copout as a staffer (or someone interested in improving). So what if something looks like a brick wall; I'm going to smash through it!

Tez I'd really be interested in seeing what you guys have iterated on to piggyback on your progress so far.

@rook said in Reasons why you quit a game...:

This contributed to the heartache cycle, which for me is the high of character conceptualization... only to step out days later onto the grid and see tumbleweeds blowing by.

Yeah. This is hard. You're drumming along, thinking you've got something that will hook into what is or isn't going on...then it's like throwing a line in and never getting a nibble when fishing. It blows because of all the investment. I don't think I've ever seen a game that is hurting for activity change their entry requirements (I'd be interested if others have).

Like, if people are having troubles RPing, then ease up on some CG requirements so there's a low front end investment. Then if things don't work out (because they are likely outside of your control if the activity is just low), not as rough lashback for the player.