Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff
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Not that it's super bad, but I'm tired/depressed/want to cry - and I just want to log off work stuff, open the window to listen to the incoming storm, and nap while curled up with my puppy.
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@macha That sounds a really lovely reset. I hope you find time for yourself today.
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@crawfish Alas, I have cases waiting to be enrolled. NYC can't handle their workload, so it gets shoveled onto me in my much smaller office.
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It makes me unreasonably content to have the means to exercise again in my garage.
It's not about being strong; I don't play sports during the pandemic. It's not about looking good; I barely go out during the pandemic. It's not even about being healthy, or not entirely.
I've realized I need the incentive to look after myself properly though and without goals and structure I cannot do this. Or, rather, I haven't; in the last year and a half I've taken terrible care of myself. I ate badly, dressed the bare minimum needed to sit in front of a web camera for meetings every morning, and I didn't have a reason to care.
For whatever reason having some iron to lift up and put down again works for me. It gives me a reason to look after the rest of my life. And it makes me feel good about it in ways I didn't realize I was missing until they came back.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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@macha Upvoting because I get it, not because I like it.
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I don't know if there's a better thread to put this so:
https://ko-fi.com/mahaldoodles
This seems to be a good middle ground between Paypal and Patreon. I can even setup goals and commissions through it, though Etsy handles the latter just fine (for now). I'll wedge the link in my signature too. Thank you to everyone that's encouraged me to try something like this out.
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There's always Venmo or Zel.
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Me: Okay! I'll set up my internet and get renter's insurance set up ahead of time.
Me: ...wait, what's my ... fuck i don't actually have the address
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I have come to the conclusion that at least 80% of grad school is wondering why the fuck you did this to yourself, she said after five pages of calculations re: American COVID stimulus spending.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello -
It makes me very sad during my 1:1s to be told they are not used to receiving positive feedback. That there are adults out there in their thirties who haven't been told yet they are doing a good job - at something they spend a third of their lives doing - is unsettling.
When you do something wrong you hear about it in no uncertain terms. When you're doing well you... get paid since that's what's expected?
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It makes me very sad during my 1:1s to be told they are not used to receiving positive feedback. That there are adults out there in their thirties who haven't been told yet they are doing a good job - at something they spend a third of their lives doing - is unsettling.
As a partner, this may be a fault of mine. I work in a bubble and like it that way. My lack of praise to others is mostly because I don't work often with them. But when I do, yes, I want to point out more what they did right because they are likely already aware of what they did incorrectly.
Of course, part of this is also that I'm the new partner. I don't want to step on the toes of the old partners. But it is becoming increasingly apparent that the old partners are out of touch with the business, and it is disconcerting and stressful.
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@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
It makes me very sad during my 1:1s to be told they are not used to receiving positive feedback. That there are adults out there in their thirties who haven't been told yet they are doing a good job - at something they spend a third of their lives doing - is unsettling.
When you do something wrong you hear about it in no uncertain terms. When you're doing well you... get paid since that's what's expected?
....Are you secretly my boss?
I spent years as an executive assistant in various industries. It is an utterly thankless job where you receive very little praise, if any, when you do an amazing job but man, do you hear it when you screw up. And also, your job is super critical to the basic functioning of the highest levels of management, but most people are going to talk to you like it's a miracle you can do more than schedule a meeting and order catering.
About two years ago I moved into a position with substantially similar responsibilities, but a totally different job title. Suddenly I was receiving high praise for doing the most basic things right.
It... it was jarring, to say the least. Very jarring.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello -
@aria said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
....Are you secretly my boss?
Yes.
Suddenly I was receiving high praise for doing the most basic things right.
Although too much praise cheapens the concept, employee recognition is a valuable tool from a corporate perspective and a decent thing to do from a human standpoint.
As a company it costs nothing to tell someone who went above and beyond to say "good job!" to them. It's literally the least you can do. Hell, do it publicly (and while you're at it, only chastise in private).
As a person... recognize the effort. Help someone feel a little bit better about themselves. Let them know they are valued.
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@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
When you do something wrong you hear about it in no uncertain terms. When you're doing well you... get paid since that's what's expected?
This is why I loathed being middle management as much as...people loathe middle managers, looool.
I mean I loathed management just in general, but like being the guy who was expected to constantly praise and encourage my team while course correcting their day to day mistakes and then also be the hand of the directors when something was seriously wrong on a larger scale that we simultaneously had no real way of personally impacting but were still held accountable for when it made its way downstream was just fucking exhausting and...well...
"Yeah I know I just got finished telling you all how awesome we as a team in particular are doing but like...our region as a whole missed some arbitrary goal by a single-digit percentage so we no longer qualify for this bonus that I was told to get you all psyched up about for literally months now."
Soul crushing. YAYYYY CORPORATIONS
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@wizz Oh I feel that.
Shit flows downhill. We have considerable technical debt to pay back at my job and there are never opportunities to dedicate resources to do so since offering new features is what gets more customers, not fixing stuff that isn't broken enough.
But here's the thing, the more technical debt you accumulate the harder it is for their services to scale up. That means as you add customers it gets harder to maintain them. It also means stuff needs to be done manually - which directly translates to people getting phone calls at 2am to fix stuff which, if they had time from the daily grind, would either be automatically resolved or wouldn't be broken in the first place.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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@arkandel said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
@wizz Oh I feel that.
Shit flows downhill. We have considerable technical debt to pay back at my job and there are never opportunities to dedicate resources to do so since offering new features is what gets more customers, not fixing stuff that isn't broken enough.
But here's the thing, the more technical debt you accumulate the harder it is for their services to scale up. That means as you add customers it gets harder to maintain them. It also means stuff needs to be done manually - which directly translates to people getting phone calls at 2am to fix stuff which, if they had time from the daily grind, would either be automatically resolved or wouldn't be broken in the first place.
Is this my job you're describing right now? Ugh. Technical debt
I sympathise with you so much on this.
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Story of my last six months at that job, but the technical debt was all internal. We were mandated by a CEO who sold the company and left not even halfway through his batshit implementation to use an alpha web interface for a software that itself hadn't even finished testing before being pushed out onto the floor. It was a constant nightmare, people's lives literally depended on our job and we were expected to troubleshoot this Frankenstein monstrosity while live scheduling like, dialysis and chemo appointments. LOL BUT ALSO ACTUALLY DESPAIR
ETA: Oh and the best part? A fucking exquisite scheduling software already existed for this purpose, and we'd used it when I started there years prior, but it was licensed. Dude was just cheap as hell and kind of a prideful dumbass.
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I am very, very hungry for sweets.
I am trying to distract myself from my hunger by staying busy and indulging my hobby.
My only hobby is cooking.
At least I'm not making ice cream sandwiches, I guess.
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Well I had my intake for intensive outpatient therapy yesterday and it was horrible and I go in for my next session tomorrow and I'm nervous and unhappy
So that's fun
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I was begged to be a middle nursing manager at my job and I was like absolutely not! I always use the line...
"I make a better warrior than a general."
There are a few reasons why and one is that I am just not a manager type of personality. Another is that I prefer direct patient care over paperwork. I would rather be on the floor caring for patient's directly than at a desk charting.
But there is the squeeze of middle managers too, they get pressure from above them and pressure from below them and don't have enough power to really change things.
Plus I wouldn't really make that much more and as a floor nurse, I have more abilitty to decide what extra shifts I work. I do work alot of extra, but as a non manager, I can say no if I reach that burn out point. And I feel like it is coming. I am so exhausted. I am considering just working 40 hours a week in June.
