@Ghost said in Stranger Danger?:

Do you have issues finding/maintaining RP with players once they find out you're not open to IC-relationship stuff? That was always kind of my issue: I was able to find a lot of available RP, but people would suddenly have "electrical storm" or "rl emergency" or "sorry gotta go" when it was established I wasn't into TS/relationship RP with the person.

Nope. I've had loads of folks RP my character's besties, coworkers, frenemies, found family, actual family... even unrequited suitors.

Even when I have done IC romances, for many years I've been very up-front about being exclusively FTB. Never had anyone be like: "Oh well in that case... poof."

Might come down to the games, dunno.

I've not posted here in a while, but just had a new release. Evennia, the Python MU* creation system, is moving forward, now at version 4.0.0 (we follow semantic versioning).

Release post

Evennia 4.0.0

March 17, 2024

Major release. Check out for backwards-incompatible changes below.

Version updates

• Feature: Support Python 3.12 (Griatch). Currently supporting 3.10,3.11 and 3.12. Note that 3.10 support will be removed in a future release.
• Feature: Update evennia[extra] scipy dependency to 1.12 to support latest Python. Note that this may change which (equivalent) path is being picked when following an xyzgrid contrib pathfinding.
  Backwards incompatible changes
• Feature: Backwards incompatible: DefaultObject.get_numbered_name now gets object's name via .get_display_name for better compatibility with recog systems.
• Feature: Backwards incompatible: Removed the (#dbref) display from DefaultObject.get_display_name, instead using new .get_extra_display_name_info method for getting this info. The Object's display template was extended for optionally adding this information. This makes showing extra object info to admins an explicit action and opens up get_display_name for general use.
• Fix: (partly Backwards incompatible depending on your usage): DefaultObject.get_numbered_name used .name instead of
  .get_display_name before, which broke recog systems.

New features

• Feature: Add ON_DEMAND_HANDLER.set_dt(key, category, dt) and .set_stage(key, category, stage) to allow manual tweaking of task timings, for example for a spell speeding a plant's growth (Griatch)
• Feature: Add ON_DEMAND_HANDLER.get_dt/stages(key,category, **kwargs), where the kwargs are passed into any stage-callable defined with the stages. (Griatch)
• Feature: Add use_assertequal kwarg to the EvenniaCommandTestMixin testing class; this uses django's assertEqual over the default more lenient checker, which can be useful for testing table whitespace (Griatch)
• Feature: New utils.group_objects_by_key_and_desc for grouping a list of objects based on the visible key and desc. Useful for inventory listings (Griatch)
• Feature: Add DefaultObject.get_numbered_name return_string bool kwarg, for only returning singular/plural based on count instead of a tuple with both (Griatch)

Bug and security fixes

• Fix Removed the @reboot alias to @reset to not mislead people into thinking you can do a portal+server reboot from in-game (you cannot) (Griatch)
• Fix: Refactor Clothing contrib's inventory command align with Evennia core's version (michaelfaith84, Griatch)
• Fix: Limiting search by tag didn't take search-string into account (Griatch)
• Fix: SSH connection caused a traceback in protocol (Griatch)
• Fix: Resolve a bug when loading on-demand-handler data from database (Griatch)
• Security: Potential O(n2) regex exploit in rpsystem regex (Griatch)
• Security: Fix potential redirect vulnerability in character page redirect (Griatch)
• Doc fixes (iLPdev, Griatch, CloudKeeper)

@Ghost said in Stranger Danger?:

But yeah, in my perfect world, the right to remain anonymous and partake in roleplay without needing to expose who you are as an OOC persona would be important. I think that should be everyone's right to do so without being treated with hostility.

I do agree it's everyone's right to not be treated with hostility, but I don't think "Eh, I'd rather not RP with someone for <insert any reason short of bigotry>" is "hostility". People have a right to RP (or not) with whomever they choose. Nobody is owed someone else's time.

When I decide whether or not to join a game on Storium, for instance, I look over the profile of the GM and other players to see what else they've done and whether they'd be fun to play with. If someone has no history, that's not necessarily a red flag, but it does influence my decision. And it's entirely Storium's right as a platform to say that each player may have only one account. (I don't know if they do, just saying they could.)

In fact, I would argue that this idea of player anonymity (not in a PII/RL sense but in a 'different identity across each game instance' sense) is pretty unique to MUSHes these days.

I think certain behaviors in the community have made it a necessary evil, but I don't think it's good. That's why I created the handle system for Ares. It is optional for practical reasons, but in my philosophical ideal world, it wouldn't be.

@Misadventure said in Stranger Danger?:

It's a question of self awareness, and managing that bleed.

Yeah, I mean - if authors and fans and actors can all get overly invested in their characters, it's only natural that MU players will sometimes too. But that's why boundaries and communication are important.

@Ghost said in Stranger Danger?:

^ I write this because it again highlights how quickly these things can get personal despite your best intentions, and whoever it is they say they are one needs to just hope they're stable enough not to impact your RL.

Isn't that true of any relationship, though, online or off? Someone who's had bad experiences is naturally going to be more leery than someone who hasn't, but it almost seems like you're saying it's better to just never engage OOCly at all. (Maybe I'm misunderstanding.) Even if that were practical, I'm not convinced it would really insulate you from drama.

@Hella said in Stranger Danger?:

I enforce firm boundaries, period. IC, OOC, all the boundaries, everywhere.

Oh yes, very true. I only call out IC relationships specifically because that's been the #1 source of boundary issues through the years.

Where I've landed after all these years:

• I stick to friendly co-op games.
• I don't do PVP or TS.
• I enforce firm boundaries on IC relationships. (Though even that has proved exhausting enough that I am now leery of romantic RP with anyone I don't already know and trust OOCly.)
• I'm choosy about the games I play on - usually either my own or ones from people I trust.

I feel bad that you've had such horrible experiences, though, because I have made several life-long friends through MUSHing. Not just "oh they RP well so it's fun to play a game with them" but true friends. Yes, we must be cautious and sensible with any interactions on the internet, but I don't think we need to be so paranoid that we cut ourselves off from meaningful interaction.

@Jackarn Not that I've seen.

@Hella said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

And when you find them? It's worth the rest.

Yeah, I don't mean to downplay the drama and toxic behavior, which has always existed in MUs. All I mean is that -- for me, personally -- the good people and fun have always outweighed the bad. Otherwise I would've quit long ago.

But there's some selection bias there. I don't play on WoD or L&L games, which tend to have more PVP-oriented shenanigans, or Comic games, which tend to have fights over who gets to play (or hook up with) Batman or whatever, etc., etc. That's not to say my games are happy unicorn utopias - it's still strangers playing games on the internet, and sometimes there are issues. But they're not the cesspool of bullying that Ghost has seen, either.

@Tapewyrm It largely depends on where you play. Good people still exist. I've been on games that were pretty chill. This is not to discount Ghost's experiences, which are wholly valid, but I think we run in different game circles and have had very different experiences.

@Ghost said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

It's at the point that a code base used by many, many games (Ares) own creator doesn't partake in the hobby

That's mostly due to a lack of spoons and personal issues, not quitting the hobby as a whole. I think many of the Ares games are lovely, but I have very narrow tastes (which is why I've usually run my own games.)

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

Thus far, the answer to this question has been evaded.

Derp gave a pretty clear answer, I felt, about how rules are applied equally?

But you seem to want black and white answers on a nuanced issue. Someone could use the term "toxic femininity" as part of a healthy discussion on social expectations, tropes, etc. or they could use it as an epithet to shut down a conversation in an insulting, dismissive fashion. Same with "toxic masculinity".

Whatever you think of the context that sparked this in the first place (and I have half the convo blocked so I couldn't weigh in on the particulars even if I cared to), that context does matter.