During what I thought was going to be typical maintainance nodebb decided to go completely belly-up.
... The good news is that, a couple of hours afterwards, I can verify our database backups work as intended! Also that we're now on the latest and greatest branch.
The bad news is that any new posts, chats... anything at all created since this morning (4/14/2018) at 07:00 when the latest backup had been taken are lost in the aether. I do apologize about that.