@L-B-Heuschkel To some extent, there are several different issues:
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People who use "have some ooc/ic separation" to be dicks in a way that would STILL BE A DICK even if we were sitting around playing cards or a board game. Like, rubbing someone's face in a loss, targeting another player to ruin their experience, mocking how someone plays - being upset about these things says nothing about one's ic/ooc separation, and trying to hide behind "oh, you just don't have good boundaries" is dumb. Bad sportsmanship is the center of it.
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People who use "everyone gets attached to characters" to be dicks in a way that is manipulative and creepy, and yeah, would still be a dick if you were playing, idk, Warhammer tabletop or something, and decided that your faction was objectively the best and threw temper tantrums whenever you lost. They use their "attachment" to demand, overtly or covertly, that the game and other players conform to that attachment - I think my character is awesome, so I demand that you treat him/her like they're awesome, or my heart will break and it's all your fault.
These top two categories are 'bad actors', and the only thing that's really to be done about them is to refuse to indulge it either way, or argue with them, and ideally, uninvite them from games.
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People who have legitimate problems separating IC and OOC events, whether on a chronic basis, or because there's some real life stress and they're hoping to use the IC world as an escapist fantasy. This, I think, is almost all players at some point in time, but some players more than others.
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People who aggressively desire to separate IC and OOC, because they enjoy the freedom of the game not being 'real', and thus have a tendency to treat it sometimes very much as a 'game' even when their characters would/should take things more seriously, and thus have a tendency to be disruptive, provocative, dismissive, etc. Like 3, some people are like that all the time, to some degree, but almost everyone gets like this /sometimes/ in some circumstances.
These two categories, generally, are actors in good faith - they're pursuing their fun, and they don't intend to mess up anyone else's game, and they're not trying to make the game "their way"...but they can get on each other's nerves to a breathtaking degree, nonetheless.
For 3) I think it's important that each of us try and evaluate our attachment to IC events/characters, and recognize when stress or attachment levels are getting to a point where - intending to or not - you're in danger or ruining other people's fun, or your own! Like, it may be normal to 'feel sad' when something tragic happens to a character. But if an IC setback sends you into the pit of despair, if you cry when your character cries (and aren't the sort of person who is reduced to tears by Hallmark commercials like I am), or if your mood becomes /significantly/ linked to the success you're facing in RP? Those really are warning signs. It's probably time to take a break, either just walking away from the computer right now, or re-evaluating how much time/emotional energy you're putting into RP, and looking for other options to invest some of that. No one activity should be your primary emotional anchor, but especially not an activity that is, at its heart, about unexpected setbacks and conflicts.
For 4), I think it's also important to develop senses of emotional awareness and empathy for others' experiences. Like, sure, it's objectively no big deal if your fake character drops trou at a fancy event and moons fake people, and if you don't care that they got exiled/punished/killed for it, why should anyone? But even though that's not an event that really matters, it's still disruptive to the game, and in most games, makes a significant amount of 'unfun' labor for other players. So, even if it would be a hilarious way to go out, maybe don't. Instead, maybe think of ways, if you want to have that disruptive play experience, to bring other people into it as collaborators, instead of audience/antagonist.