Regarding Force Awakens Spoilers

Glitch · Dec 19, 2015, 8:49 PM

The topic has been moved to the TV and Movies group. If you want to discuss it, go there. Keep spoilers there. The group is free to join or leave, so you can leave to keep yourself spoiler free.

Roz · Dec 19, 2015, 8:53 PM

This is super appreciated.

Insomnia · Dec 20, 2015, 10:04 PM

I have nothing to add but this comic which isn't spoilery in any way but I forget how to do images.

Roz · Dec 20, 2015, 10:06 PM

I legitimately asked people at brunch next to me not to spoil anything when their conversation turned to Star Wars. Fortunately they were super chill about it.

Jennkryst · Dec 22, 2015, 5:47 AM

I like to keep telling people to only give fake spoilers, so that they don't accidentally let people know about the Poe/Fin sex scene, and how tasteful the music was (flute trills during the cumshot and everything). It takes them a solid 30 seconds to realize I'm just fucking with them. I almost got booted from a game for it, too, it was great.

Cirno · Dec 22, 2015, 9:37 AM

@Jennkryst

the Poe/Fin sex scene

It makes me very sad that this did not actually happen. They make such a cute couple.

Derp · Dec 22, 2015, 9:48 AM

@Cirno said:

It makes me very sad that this did not actually happen. They make such a cute couple.

It's Disney. Interracial couplings will not be happening on the big screen. Just on their own private channel. We're still far too conservative for all that. Give it twenty more years.

Cirno · Dec 22, 2015, 9:54 AM

@Derp said:

@Cirno said:

It makes me very sad that this did not actually happen. They make such a cute couple.

It's Disney. Interracial couplings will not be happening on the big screen. Just on their own private channel. We're still far too conservative for all that. Give it twenty more years.

Poe and Finn are both guys, so it's doubly likely not to happen.

Can you imagine how elderly, racist white Americans and Europeans would respond to seeing an interracial gay couple? It'd be like in Raiders of the Lost Ark when the Nazis have their faces melted off by the Ark!

That part in the trailer where they pat each other on the back has so much Bromance in it.

Arkandel · Dec 22, 2015, 2:08 PM

I smell fanfic coming up in 5...!

Coin · Dec 22, 2015, 2:34 PM

@Derp said:

@Cirno said:

It makes me very sad that this did not actually happen. They make such a cute couple.

It's Disney. Interracial couplings will not be happening on the big screen. Just on their own private channel. We're still far too conservative for all that. Give it twenty more years.

I don't know. It might take another two movies, but I have the feeling Finn and Rey are destined to be together. We'll never see'em bang it out, obvs, but I think they'll end up together.

Or did you mean actual depicted sex when you said "coupling"?

Derp · Dec 22, 2015, 7:17 PM

@Coin said:

I don't know. It might take another two movies, but I have the feeling Finn and Rey are destined to be together. We'll never see'em bang it out, obvs, but I think they'll end up together.

Or did you mean actual depicted sex when you said "coupling"?

Lol, no, I meant 'becoming a couple'. I didn't realize at that moment what else it could mean. And maybe Finn and Rey, sure, but I think that one's less likely. Luke in the movies so far has been a Jedi traditionalist, and they believe that emotion leads to the dark side, thus how Anakin fell etc, etc. She might fall into the 'no touchy' category. So far the only Jedi we've seen be in a relationship (in the movies, mind you -- Mara Jade is still <3) was Anakin, and love of Padme drove him to atrocity and desperation and all that. I think there would be a nerd eruption if a Jedi shacked up with someone.

@Cirno said:

Poe and Finn are both guys, so it's doubly likely not to happen.

Yeah, I know. They really do make a cute couple.

Arkandel · Dec 22, 2015, 7:22 PM

@Derp said:

So far the only Jedi we've seen be in a relationship (in the movies, mind you -- Mara Jade is still <3) was Anakin, and love of Padme drove him to atrocity and desperation and all that. I think there would be a nerd eruption if a Jedi shacked up with someone.

Correlation does not equal causation. Unless the Jedi Council can show Darth Maul etc also fell to the Dark Side because they had the hots for a chick, they might as well blame it on sand since it's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Coin · Dec 22, 2015, 7:30 PM

@Arkandel said:

@Derp said:

So far the only Jedi we've seen be in a relationship (in the movies, mind you -- Mara Jade is still <3) was Anakin, and love of Padme drove him to atrocity and desperation and all that. I think there would be a nerd eruption if a Jedi shacked up with someone.

Correlation does not equal causation. Unless the Jedi Council can show Darth Maul etc also fell to the Dark Side because they had the hots for a chick, they might as well blame it on sand since it's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Luke is far from a Jedi traditionalist--he is the product of breaking Jedi tradition, in fact, in more ways than one.

Jennkryst · Dec 22, 2015, 9:47 PM

@Derp said:

So far the only Jedi we've seen be in a relationship (in the movies, mind you -- Mara Jade is still <3) was Anakin, and love of Padme drove him to atrocity and desperation and all that. I think there would be a nerd eruption if a Jedi shacked up with someone.

There is some serious hand-on-thigh action between Obi-wan and Padme in Episode 2. To make the prequels interesting, watch Ep 1 with with Darth-Darth Binks theory in mind, and Eps 2-3 with the idea that 'Obi-wan was totally banging Padme' angle.

Cirno · Dec 22, 2015, 9:58 PM

@Jennkryst said:

@Derp said:

So far the only Jedi we've seen be in a relationship (in the movies, mind you -- Mara Jade is still <3) was Anakin, and love of Padme drove him to atrocity and desperation and all that. I think there would be a nerd eruption if a Jedi shacked up with someone.

There is some serious hand-on-thigh action between Obi-wan and Padme in Episode 2. To make the prequels interesting, watch Ep 1 with with Darth-Darth Binks theory in mind, and Eps 2-3 with the idea that 'Obi-wan was totally banging Padme' angle.

The Darth Binks theory seriously fucked with my head when I watched the Pod Race again and Anakin's podracer starts up right after Binks says "Come on, Ani!"

That was too coincidental. It gave me chills.

Also, I heard on the grapevine that Gungans have really big dicks. [bites lower lip] I bet they've got really big, heavy balls, too. They probably fuck for hours at a time.

While we're talking about Obi-Wan trying to give Padme the D...have you considered the time when Jar Jar and Padme were alone on the Royal Yacht?

Nnnf....

Roz · Dec 22, 2015, 10:06 PM

This killed me.

The Confused Notes of a Star Wars Newbie Who Felt Compelled to See The Force Awakens

Arkandel · Dec 22, 2015, 10:23 PM

In case anyone doesn't know about the Darth Binks theory, which could explain who Supreme Leader Snoke is.

bored · Dec 23, 2015, 2:56 AM

I am 100% behind the Binks thing, to the point of aggravating my friends and the person I saw the new one with. If you read any of the stuff about Lucas trying to use Ring theory in film, it makes even more sense (the reddit thread touches on that with the 'rhyming' concept and how Darth Binks is the necessary rhyme to Yoda).

It would really be a shame if that's what they were going for and ultimately chickened out of.