Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.

boneghazi · Jan 20, 2020, 9:44 PM

She's lucky I don't call my guy and arrange a surprise exorcism.

Auspice · Jan 20, 2020, 9:46 PM

@nyctophiliac

A lot of this behavior reminds me of one of my brothers.
I am estranged from him. I've filed a police report on him. He pulls anything else on me and it goes to a restraining order. But our parents still insist I should be 'the responsible older sibling' and forgive him....he'll be 30 this year.

Like wtf is it with grown ass adults wanting their parents to save their ass from their own shit.

mietze · Jan 20, 2020, 9:51 PM

While the leading up to no contact (or very specific contact only) can be stressful sometimes, and there's some stress during the testing period, honestly it feels so much better to have that person out of your life.

ZekeTheG33k · Jan 20, 2020, 9:54 PM

Also, just who does my boss think she is.. Randomly sending me meeting invites about stuff pertaining to my job. Doesn't she know I pretend to work...

boneghazi · Jan 20, 2020, 10:01 PM

@Auspice I've had a lot of wrestling with that problem, internally (no mothers needed). My mother in law doesn't handle stress well and while she agrees with me fully about how I feel, I'm tired of having to be the peacemaker and be the victim of this stuff.

But it's to the point where I don't want to even be in the same town as her. She's driving me to the brink of my sanity. I feel sorry for my mother in law a little bit but... I am just done. It's either her or me at this point.

Auspice · Jan 20, 2020, 10:45 PM

@nyctophiliac said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice I've had a lot of wrestling with that problem, internally (no mothers needed). My mother in law doesn't handle stress well and while she agrees with me fully about how I feel, I'm tired of having to be the peacemaker and be the victim of this stuff.

But it's to the point where I don't want to even be in the same town as her. She's driving me to the brink of my sanity. I feel sorry for my mother in law a little bit but... I am just done. It's either her or me at this point.

My brother was not welcome at my grandmother's funeral because the family knew I wouldn't attend if he was there and I had a closer relationship with her + am one of the elder of the grandchildren. He ended up being the only child / grandchild not present.

It is hard. But the fact that your MIL supports you is a good thing. My parents make it hard on me, but after the last death threat (which he repeated in our mother's face), they've eased up. Thank god.

You have support from people here who have been through similar.

boneghazi · Jan 20, 2020, 11:17 PM

My MIL supports me but not to her face.
She will never tell my SIL the Truth of the matter.
My MIL just wants peace at any cost, even if the cost is my sanity or hers.

So I wrote her a short message and told her some things I knew about what she's been saying about me and husbando and her motives behind it and also that I didn't want any contact with her any more and she's banned from being a part of my family (husband and child's_) life.

I choked for a while to be honest. I don't want to stress my mother in law out any more, but the woman is tearing her apart. She is tearing ME apart.

Another story. On my kid's birthday (5 days ago now) she came over by surprise, and just waltzed into my room, walked in the door and I didn't have any pants on to say hi to my kid. When I was busy trying to get us both ready for guests we weren't expecting. Like... WTFS.

It was also the day we got the news my MIL's sister has cancer in her esophagus.

So later she proceeded to drink several glasses of wine and bitched to my MIL when she showed up 10 mins later about how horrible her life is -- for two hours. My MIL was just torn the fuck up, trying to hide it all and not break down at her grandson's party.

But she did break down eventually and my SIL's reaction was a cool "Oh I heard about that is she ok?" like it was the most casual thing in the world. MIL was very upset about how callous she was.

But I'm finished, I have gotten a lot off of my chest, and from now on that's it.

My MIL will have to respect my decision for the health of my family and sanity.

Pandora · Jan 20, 2020, 11:32 PM

@nyctophiliac Your SIL is a cow, hang in there.

silverfox · Jan 21, 2020, 1:16 AM

Man, if the 49ers lose, this is going to be a saaaaddd house. (Sorry, bringing it back to mild peeves from super heavy stuff.)

RightMeow · Jan 21, 2020, 1:42 AM

Being 5'1 --

That's not a peeve in and of itself until I have to rehang the shower curtain.

silverfox · Jan 21, 2020, 1:45 AM

@RightMeow I am 5'3" and I married a guy 5'4".

We are basically just out of luck in general. One of our first purchases was a folding ladder and step stool. X.x

Tinuviel · Jan 21, 2020, 1:50 AM

@silverfox My 5'2" husband refuses to use the ladder... he climbs when he can't get me to do it for him. Is this a man thing?

RightMeow · Jan 21, 2020, 1:52 AM

@Tinuviel

Nope. I climb so many things. SO MANY. Sometimes it's a pain to use a ladder or a step stool when you can just tether recklessly on something with more height that may lead to your death. #LifeGoals

Tinuviel · Jan 21, 2020, 1:53 AM

@RightMeow I've had to fix our bookshelves to the wall studs so they won't fall on him when he does this.
Apparently standing on a chair is fine, though.

Auspice · Jan 21, 2020, 2:24 AM

5'3".
I climb onto counters.

My 6'3" ex-husband would fuss over how dangerous it was until I'd remind him that he'd always complain about people asking him to get things / flat out refuse.

... I really just need to invest in a step stool.

eye8urcake · Jan 21, 2020, 2:49 AM

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

5'3".
I climb onto counters.

My 6'3" ex-husband would fuss over how dangerous it was until I'd remind him that he'd always complain about people asking him to get things / flat out refuse.

... I really just need to invest in a step stool.

This is me, unless it's something not too heavy I can nudge to the front edge of a shelf or whatever with - IDK, tongs, a wooden spoon, whatever is long that's handy. If something's on the top shelf, I forget it even exists, period. Meanwhile, my six and a half foot tall husband just snrks at me.

silverfox · Jan 21, 2020, 2:53 AM

@Tinuviel

Haha, my husband doesn't climb anything. If it is up there, he just ignores its existence. He will use a step stool if I remind him.

Tinuviel · Jan 21, 2020, 2:56 AM

@silverfox Well, you see, apparently it's my fault that things end up that high. Like when he wanted my help in maintaining his diet, so I put all the candy and such up on a high shelf...

Auspice · Jan 21, 2020, 2:58 AM

@eye8urcake said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

5'3".
I climb onto counters.

My 6'3" ex-husband would fuss over how dangerous it was until I'd remind him that he'd always complain about people asking him to get things / flat out refuse.

... I really just need to invest in a step stool.

This is me, unless it's something not too heavy I can nudge to the front edge of a shelf or whatever with - IDK, tongs, a wooden spoon, whatever is long that's handy. If something's on the top shelf, I forget it even exists, period. Meanwhile, my six and a half foot tall husband just snrks at me.

the big tongs are absolutely 'for grabbing things'

silverfox · Jan 21, 2020, 3:20 AM

@Tinuviel

Sounds like you are: