I just wanted to pop in to explain that the last couple of days I have mostly been away due to needing to try to avoid emotional spillover over what has been happening here into areas of my life I couldn't afford to be a wreck for. (Honestly the community here IS part of my "RL" so it's not that this community isn't an important and valid part of my life).
This was NOBODY'S FAULT. Some of it was the worst timing in the world due to things outside of MSB stretching me very thin emotionally and mentally. NOBODY IS TO BLAME FOR THIS. I want to make this clear.
I told Gany immediately when I could feel myself entering the danger zone (Again this has everything to do with things going on for me health wise and not anyone's fault). We were in the process of discussing things when things started to cascade (I wasn't keeping up with the boards at the time because I was more paying attention to our conversation and when I finally had a chance to start to catch up I became overwhelmed and knew I was having an extremely out of sync and inappropriate mental/emotional reaction and I needed to go quickly because none of you deserve having to deal with that too on top of everything else that was going on here and more importantly out in the world at large). I was immediately supported. I feel that this is important for people to know.
In retrospect maybe I should have posted a note but i could not at the time. I'm struggling with posting this one. But it wasn't anyone else's place to disclose why I was suddenly absent.
I'm hoping that after the weekend I will have at least some of the things outside of MSB settled more so that I have space to catch up and be able to think intentionally rather than being pure reaction.
I'm here because I really do care about this community, because it has been such a vital part of my larger community of support in my life (and people in it will continue to be no matter what or who stays or goes). I am asking for your patience that I need some time to digest/catch up and need some space to deal with a few immediate things outside of it and to try to pull my shit together a little more before I can tackle that. this would still be happening probably even everyone had been hugging fluffy bunnies and unicorns the last 48 hours. MSB blowup has been merely the sprinkles on the fully frosted cupcake of the rest of my mental/emotional state, but it was something that I couldn't handle at that time and need a little more breathing. I am pretty sure that you guys understand.