If you work hard, son, maybe someday you'll RP

[egg]

(I'm not putting this in the Hog Pit because I don't want it to devolve into that level of gripe, but this is a mild gripe. If you think it's better off in the Hog Pit or something, feel free to move it.)

When did it become so hard to find basic RP? Why does it take such work these days? I guess this might not be true on some large game I don't play on (Arx or something), but it's true on most of the small-to-medium-sized games I've played on over the last few years.

If I want to find RP on most games, I have to Hustle(tm): get to know people OOCly, maybe fake a few lifelong friendships, pretend our characters have stuff in common, and then maybe pencil in a date on the third Tuesday of the month at some obscure time to throw a few words together. (Note: unlike a lot of people, I don't always "app in" with my friends. Apping in with one's friends tends to render this problem null and void, but must I do everything in a group?)

Is this just me getting old or cranky, or is there some legitimate pattern here I'm picking up on? Have RPers become less spontaneous and more specific about who or what they will RP?

[juke]

Many people doing this are

a) older now, and in accordance with that change in time of life tend to have more commitments and less time

b) and less patience for bullshit behavior on the part of others.

They have to pick and choose how they spend their time, and naturally want to have as much fun as possible in the limited time that they have. Family obligations, careers -- sometimes scheduling way out is the only way to make that time. Many of us have been doing this since the nineties, and have favorite friends to play with, too.

I've met brand new people in the last few years that I'd never met before who have become routine favorites on my list of people to play with, and all it took on my part was going to events and inviting people to do things that I thought might sound fun for them. Paying attention to what people like doesn't mean you have to become lifelong friends or pitch your character as something they are not, but yeah, if you want someone to block out time for you, it makes sense to have an idea of what you'll both find fun. That's courteous, and more likely to get you the long-term options for RP you want, anyway.

The hidden difficult truth here is that sometimes I hear people talk about how they cannot for the life of them 'break through the cliques' or get RP, and I'm not sure how to tell them that it's because they're incredibly irritating human beings, either through selfishness or some other unfortunate quality. Nobody's got time to life-coach strangers. (I'm not saying this is you. I don't have any idea who you are. I'm just saying, it happens a lot.)

tl;dr: Things changed because a lot of us grew up, and some of us did not.

[Three-Eyed Crow]

Idk if it's even untrue on large games. I feel like I have to work pretty hard on Arx to get the kind of RP I want (random bar RP is a different matter but...do not so much always want that).

[egg]

@juke Not everyone has the luxury of a decades-long RP superfriends group. Hell, I started RPing in the nineties too, but I took some years off. As we all know, it's hard to make friends as an adult. Even online. You don't have the same loyalty to new friends that you do with your ancient friend who apped in their Giovanni with your first Tremere back in 1997 or whatever.

I mean, sure, yeah, I guess some people are just jerks. Maybe I'm a jerk. Probably. But more often than not, it's probably tribalism at work. Tribalism is going to kill this hobby, or at least make it a lot less interesting.

Events are great, of course. If people can remain open to the idea of playing with someone they don't know well, they're golden for that. Sadly, many people don't seem to be.

[egg]

@Three-Eyed-Crow Interesting. My stereotype of Arx is that it's some golden paradise for available RP, which is why every game I'm on loses players to Arx...but if it's not even true there, that's pretty sad.

[Snackness]

@egg oh there’s always RP to be had there. But I have specific preferences which are not often met by BarRP or large events.

[Three-Eyed Crow]

@egg
I think it's like a lot of large games in that there's a lot of distractions...which sometimes makes getting the scene you want in a given time more of a challenge. Idk I feel like large games mostly have different pros and cons than small ones and it's a 'grass is always greener' situation.

I don't exactly know the solution to this, beyond agreeing it's a challenge.

[krmbm]

When you ask for RP, what are you saying/doing? Are you bringing something to the table?

[RP Requests] Bob looks for RP.

vs

[RP Requests] Bob looks to start a scene at the diner where we discover that the hamburgers have been made out of ground up children the whole time.

[Arkandel]

@egg Perception is important - just because you think everyone else is having a blast while you sit in a room that doesn't make it so.

As for RP isn't a reward given to those who deserve it. Sometimes it's simply a matter of having OOC connections.

Finally people boast - a lot. Even on MSB.

[egg]

@krmbm So what you're saying is that I should bring ground up children to the table, in the form of hamburgers? You may be onto something...

That's a fair point you make. Though I'd also point out, the very fact that I would have to dangle something enticing on an RP Requests channel to even get RP is some of my problem with the state of the games...

[egg]

@Arkandel I guess part of my point is, OOC connections used to be less vital for getting RP. RP was more likely to Just Happen. I've become a bit like the people who claim they could just get a job in the olden days by walking into a company and handing a paper resume to the receptionist, whereas now they'd need to network like crazy

But yeah, people do boast a lot. People also obsess over their own characters, to the detriment of story. This has always been true.

[Bananerz]

Not to sound irritating, but what is your expectation or definition of basic RP?

[egg]

@Bananerz Fair question!

Really Basic RP: Bar RP, social RP, etc.: Low expectations, a chance for further development, meeting new people in a casual setting, etc.

Somewhat-Less-Basic-RP: Meeting in a faction location, or in some other group that your character naturally is tied into, and getting into faction/group RP. Sometimes social, sometimes not.

Generally-Almost-Impossible-RP-To-Get-Into-On-Most-Games-Without-An-In-Of-Some-Kind: Intricate plot involvement, where your character is/becomes an essential piece in the story, and so are all the other characters involved.

[Ganymede]

When I feel like I am having a hard time finding RP, I find other venues in which to RP. My quest is often fairly short.

[krmbm]

@egg said in If you work hard, son, maybe someday you'll RP:

...the very fact that I would have to dangle something enticing on an RP Requests channel to even get RP is some of my problem with the state of the games...

I don't think people wanting "something enticing" in their RP is a problem. Personally.

[Bananerz]

@egg Gotcha. Maybe Arx isn't a fair comparison with other games that might not have such a large playerbase and engaged staff. All I can say is Arx staff give a lot of tools, lore and opportunities for players to create adventures themselves, their characters are pretty well fleshed out with established relationship webs, hooks in present situations and they're happy to update secrets if you're feeling still hungry. I like that.

I think you might find some luck at Arx with that type of RP, if it leads to you forming sort of an adventuring party (think D&D with a diverse party base such as wizard, warrior, thief instead of all warriors) to do some fun things later on too. Check out the +where, see those who have lrp on and instead of saying no, just go out and directly RP with them.

I've been enjoying random encounters and a some of them have blossomed into solid regular RP that I look forward to and I'll go out of my way to RP with them again.

@egg If you're on Arx and ever are looking for a scene or RP that isn't just sitting silently sipping a drink in a bar while giving brooding eyes, send me a message and I'll send my character your way. You can join Arx here.

[egg]

@krmbm No, the thing itself isn't a problem. I just get bummed when the only way to find RP is to hustle in some way...if you are a more of a pantser than a plotter, as I am, you might not have an idea until specific characters are thrown together in a specific setting.

[faraday]

@egg said in If you work hard, son, maybe someday you'll RP:

I would have to dangle something enticing on an RP Requests channel to even get RP is some of my problem with the state of the games...

I think that the way of getting RP has simply changed through the years. What you describe as "extra work" is literally the way most people get RP outside their friends circle on the games I play.

It doesn't even have to be anything super-enticing, it just has to be something. "Anybody want to RP? I was thinking about heading down to the gym but I'm flexible."

Even setting aside the people who only do appointment-RP with their friends, most folks don't wander around the grid with their "RPOK" hat on. Even odds you'll get nobody (because they're a) worried you're AFK, b) afraid they might not be welcome, c) afraid that you won't have anything in common to RP about, or d) find something off-putting about your character or you the player) or get a ton of people sprawling into a giant slogging scene where poses take ten years.

Most of us just don't have the time or patience for that any more.

[egg]

@Bananerz, I appreciate your generosity and kindness. Thank you. Arx has always turned me off before, but you're making me seriously consider it now...

[egg]

@faraday There's no guarantee you won't get several of those undesirable things even if someone asks, "Anybody want to RP?" Even if you triple-check someone's wiki and come to the conclusion that you might have a decent time with them, you could still end up having an undesirable experience. I guess I'm just bummed that people curate their RP sooooooo carefully these days, but that's the changing nature of the internet in general. It's just as true on social media. I get it. We're all busy. Everyone is tucked away in a niche. I don't want shitty RP, either. But I do miss the spontaneous aspect of the hobby. (By the way, I am also a working adult with an alleged life, just like everyone else in the hobby.)