Recipes and Shit
I'm opening this thread so as to share recipes and food pictures, if people want to.
Also, I'm aggro to fuck by those fucking sites where you have to fucking scroll through eleventy-billion pages of "this recipe was passed down from the progenitor of my family, who inhabited a ziggurat" or some shit, I don't fucking know, so, like, put your recipes down, and don't give us a fucking story!
Well, a story is fine, but, you know, just -- talk about fucking food, okay?
Gany's Chicken Tikka Motherfucking Masala
First, you got to marinate the chicken in a yogurt and spices before you cook it. You probably don't need to marinate for more than 2 hours, but I did it for 24 hours because I was lazy and took the family out to Bob Evans last night.
How much chicken? A couple of breasts, of course. HAW HAW HAW. Go for two pounds. Breasts are fine, but thigh meat is better.
Here's the marinade:
1 cup plain yogurt
1.5 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp ginger powder
2 tsp garam masala
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground red chili powder
1 tsp salt
You'll also need to make this sauce and keep it simmering while you cook the chicken:
2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 tbsp butter
1 large onion, diced finely
1.5 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp ginger powder
1.5 tsp garam masala
1.5 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground turmeric
1 can of tomato puree (14-16 oz.)
2 tsp ground red chili powder
1.25 cups of heavy cream
To make the sauce, stick the oil and butter in a saucepan, melt down, sweat the onion and garlic in it, then pour the puree in with all the spices, stir, and add the cream. Let it simmer while the chicken cooks.
After marinating, heat a cast iron pan (yeah, motherfuckers) in the oven at 450 degrees. Pull it out, oil the pan, toss the chicken in (yes, with the marinade on it, but not too much) and then stick it in the oven for 10 minutes.
Take the chicken out of the oven, stick it into the sauce, and let it finish in the simmering sauce for 20 minutes. Serve on rice or whatever.
Easy as shit. Ingredients may be found at your local Kroger's.
Too Old For This last edited by
I don't have a homemade blend that I use, but I rub my ribs with Twisted Q's Wicked Sweet Bourbon seasoning blend, wrap the whole thing in aluminum foil, then toss the rack into the oven for 4 hours at 275 degrees. Pull the ribs. Flip the oven to broiler setting. Drain the juices, lay down a fresh layer of foil, toss the old. Sauce up your ribs and throw them under the broiler for 5-7 minutes uncovered. Pull and let rest for another 5-7 minutes. Pull apart and serve (they really do pull apart at this point).
They have to have all those words, so that there is space on the page for all the ads that take forever to load, keeping you from seeing the recipe.
Because it's getting that time of year:
1 lb. of ground beef
1 lb. of ground hot Italian sausage
1 large onion, chopped
1 to 2 poblano peppers, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
1 tablespoon of minced garlic
2 packets of chili seasoning
1-28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
1-28 oz. can of diced tomatoes (or 1-14 oz can of diced tomatoes and 1-14 oz. can of diced, fire roasted tomatoes)
1-16 oz. package of sour cream
1-32 oz. box of beef stock (Not broth. STOCK!)
1 to 2-14 oz cans of red kidney beans, drained
1-14 oz. can of black beans, drained
Oregano, cumin, paprika, and ground chipotle pepper to taste
Shredded sharp cheddar cheese and sour cream to top with
Brown the beef and sausage in a stockpot. Remove the browned meat to a bowl, leaving the grease on the bottom. Saute the onion and peppers in the grease, adding vegetable oil if there is not enough leftover grease for sauteing. If you like other veggies in your chili (I sometimes use corn or celery) add them with the onion and peppers. In the last 30 seconds of sauteing add the minced garlic and finish sauteing. Add the meats back to the stockpot along with the first seasoning packet and stir, letting the seasoning brown just a touch.
Add the crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, beef stock, and second seasoning packet and stir again. Add the 16 oz. container of sour cream and stir with the aim of breaking up and incorporating the sour cream. Add 1 drained can of red kidney beans and the drained can of black beans and stir. If it's not bean-y enough for you, add the second drained can of red kidney beans and stir. Season with oregano, cumin, paprika, and ground chipotle pepper (or cayenne pepper) to taste (I usually do 2 to 3 tablespoons of oregano, 1 to 2 teaspoons of cumin, 1 to 2 tablespoons of paprika, and 1 to 2 teaspoons of ground chipotle pepper without accurate measurements) and stir.
Bring pot to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer uncovered for about an hour, stirring occasionally, to reduce the water content to a desired consistency. Let cool and store in fridge overnight. Serve reheated next day, topped with shredded sharp cheddar cheese and a dollop of sour cream if you desire.
Recipe makes about 10 bowls of chili, aka lunch and dinner for a week for one.
Ominous' Extra Ominous Chili
Add the following to the above recipe:
1 chipotle pepper, chopped, from a can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
1/2 to 1 teaspoon of adobo sauce from a can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
1/2 to 1 teaspoon of gochujang paste
Any extra chopped peppers you care to add. (Jalapeno, serano, habanero, etc. Just pick one type to add and add at most 2 peppers of that type to make sure you don't overshoot on your first batch.)
Add the chopped chipotle pepper and the extra peppers in with the other peppers during sauteing. Do not breathe the fumes too heavily during this step, unless you have nostalgic memories of pepper spray like I do.
Add the abodo sauce and gochujang paste while adding the tomatoes and beef stock.
Serve to those with asbestos-lined tongues.
Note: I like a spicy chili. I would consider my main recipe to be in the mild to medium range. However, if you need your chili squarely and for-sure in the mild range, use a medium or mild Italian sausage, keep the poblano but use only 1, and do not add any ground chipotle at the end.
Note 2: If you want your chili meatier, add an extra pound of ground beef, if you're fine with more of the same, or ground lamb, if you want some differing flavors and textures.
Oh my god this sounds amazing.
Italian sausage in chili?
I am offended that you would not use chorizo.
But this sounds like some smashing shit and I'mma stealin' it.
Too Old For This last edited by
@ganymede My chili is much more basic... but I definitely use chorizo.
I have tried chorizo. Trust me, I wish I could include it in the recipe. Unfortunately, it overpowers everything, or at least it did the two times I tried with two different brands. You might as well only use chorizo, water, and beans, because you're making bean and chorizo soup the moment you add chorizo. Adobo and gochujang will do the same thing with the Extra Ominous Chili, if you're not careful. That chipotle pepper and 1 teaspoon of adobo and gochujang are plenty. In fact, dialing it back to be safe is smart. Maybe start with just the chipotle pepper without any extra adobo and a 1/2 teaspoon of gochujang. They will overpower everything else if you aren't careful.
If someone wants to try and do it with chorizo and it turns out great, let us know and tell us what brand you used.
Also, anything not prepackaged is a best guess by me. I honestly do not measure shit when making chili. Chili is my simple, food for a whole week meal. Though, my recipe is not exactly cheap (about $20-$30) for a one pot meal. But, yeah, all the measured things are my best guesses. That's the beauty of chili - you can easily adjust it to match your tastes. If one batch comes out in a way that doesn't do it for you, you can fix it in the second batch.
Also also, because you are a fat gourmand like me and didn't drain the grease off of the meat, using it instead to saute things, you may get a layer of congealed fat on top of your refrigerated chili. Just mix it in before reheating. If that bothers you and you want healthy soup, try a lentil soup or cucumber gazpacho.
Let me be clear: your chili looks amazing.
I use Cacique's beef chorizo. I use one tube of that to go with 3 lbs. of ground beef. This is my recipe:
Gany's Garbage Pail Chili of Doom
3 lbs. ground beef
1 tube of Cacique beef chorizo
1 large onion, diced
4 cloves of fresh garlic, minced
2 small cans (10 ozs.) of diced tomatoes with green chilis.
2 tbsp salt
2 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp pepper
Oil a pot bottom. Sweat the onions and garlic. Add the beef and chorizo to brown it with the onions and garlic. Add the salt, sugar, and pepper and mix in well. Then dump the diced tomatoes and green chilis, stir until blended, and then simmer for an hour.
I'll admit mine isn't as fresh as it could be and doesn't require much love, but when I'm sticking spoonfuls of the meaty goodness down my throat for any damn occasion, I'm not picky.
Ahhh, a 1 to 4 chorizo to beef ratio; that helps. Also there's very little liquid, so likely a very thick chili. It sounds a bit like a Cincy style chili in a way or, more accurately, a Texas chili.
My chili tends to be soupier (all the better to dip a peanut butter sandwich in or crumble cornbread in), so if you like a thicker stew with my recipe, don't add as much crushed tomato and beef stock and/or simmer it for longer than an hour and/or add some cornmeal or cornstarch before simmering.
Or you could combine Gany's and my chilis by doing 3 lbs of beef and 1 lb of chorizo. I'd add another one to two seasoning packets for all that meat and maybe another bell pepper. It would be a thicker product and the chorizo might not overpower the other flavors.
Ominous last edited by
I just got done talking to the Justice League at Union Terminal and they agree that it was indeed a mistake to compare your chili to Cincinnati-style chili, because Cincinnati-style chili is incomparably delicious. Seriously, I have spice packets and cans of it shipped out here to California.
Devrex last edited by
Chicken, cut up into pieces. Basically just use a package of boneless skinless cause I'm lazy.
Flour, in the amount of "as much as you end up needing."
Butter. Also in the amount of "as much as you end up needing."
1 onion, chopped
Chopped Celery - 1 to 5 ribs depending on your feelings about celery
Chopped Bell Pepper - bout half. Green.
2 cups Rice
Sausage - I like tasso, if you can't find it, andouille, you can't find that, a spicy sausage will do
2.5 cups water
Seasoning: You can go with straight up salt n' pepper, or you can go with a Tony Chacheres or a Slap Yer Mama
Mis en place makes your life way easier.
You do not need a fancy pot. Any big pot with a lid will do. Must have a good lid.
Open the first beer. Take a swig. That's your cookin' beer.
Coat cut chicken with flour. This is basically helping you cheat your way out of having to make a roux. Roux is a PITA. Season it up.
Toss butter into the pot. Fry up the chicken. When it's brown, set it aside.
Throw more butter in there.
Throw the veggies in there. Sauté and sweat them until the smell makes you happy.
Rice. Water. 2nd beer. Into the pot.
Put the lid on. Make sure it's a clear lid you can see. If you open the lid to check your rice you'll ruin the rice. The amount of time this will take to cook is "awhile." It has never been precise, not one time when I've done it. You're looking for little holes in the rice and little bubbles to sort of issue out of the holes like geysers and the moment when it looks like almost all the rest of the liquid has cooked out. If it looks like it's still watery or wet give it more time. I think the amount of time it takes depends weirdly on the beer you use, but don't quote me on that. If you're feeling impatient, sip your cooking beer.
Throw more seasoning on upon serving, to taste.
This doesn't give you a brown or yellow jambalaya, so don't worry about all that. It does give you a cheap, easy, filling, and tasty jambalaya.
COME UP HERE AND MAKE ME SOME.
For people who have ever wanted a socially acceptable excuse to eat salsa with a spoon, here is my recipe for shakshuka. It is not authentic, if you were looking for that.
Heat 2 tbsp olive oil in your largest frying pan over medium-high heat. When it's shimmering (or just warm; people make too big a deal about this, in my opinion), add 1 diced, white onion and 8 oz diced mushrooms; I personally like shiitake for the texture. Give them a pinch of salt and saute until the onions are translucent.
Add 1 diced red pepper, cored, and as much diced jalapeno as you think you can stand. Where I live, I can only buy them in the size of a salt shaker, so I get three and I don't core them, because I like foods that make my nose run. You can core them if you like it milder. Anyway, sprinkle 1 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp paprika (I use Hungarian but you do you), 1/2 tsp turmeric, 1/2 tsp black pepper, and 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper over the sauteeing vegetables. Let all this cook for about three minutes, giving it a stir now and then to keep the spices from burning.
Add 28 oz. can of San Marzano tomatoes, crushed, juice and all to the party with 1/2 cup of water. Some people use broth, which I don't like in this recipe, but it's your frying pan, not mine. Stir it until everything's well-mixed and let it get to a boil, then drop the heat to medium and let it simmer for 15 minutes.
At the end of this time, give the pan a good stir to make sure nothing's burning to the bottom of the pan, then start making indentations in the surface for you to crack eggs into, one per. My frying pan is big enough to accommodate seven eggs with no overlap, but yours might not be. You're trying to poach the eggs if you like them runny or boil them if you don't (hi), so I like to partially cover the pan to speed the process along and prevent the shakshuka from losing any more moisture than it already has. When the eggs have hit the consistency you like, take it off the heat and serve it with whatever toasted bread you like best.
I understand lactose-tolerant people sprinkle goat cheese over the top before digging in, but that's not me.
Solstice last edited by Solstice
1 Standard box of elbow macaroni.
2x 8oz Cabot Extra Sharp White Cheddar.
- Bring water to a boil. Don't lower the heat. Lowering the heat is for people with time. COWARDS.
- While boiling, grate the cheese. Lazier if done with one of those electric graters.
- Add the entire box of elbow macaroni. Stir every couple of minutes, mostly just to get it off of the bottom of the pot so it doesn't stick.
- Give it like 7.5-8 minutes, turn off heat and strain the pasta.
- Do not rinse the pasta. Return it, steaming and furious, to the pot once it is no longer wet.
- Immediately incorporate cheese. Fold the cheese into it, like you're making an omelette.
You're fucking done. You've got like 5-6 servings of this now.
Roux? Crumbled up bread bits? Cowardly. Adding calories that could have been cheese.
Baking it? Cowardly. The heat from the boiled noodles knows what it's about. Let it handle that shit.
Still yet to find any restaurant macaroni that can top this.
(Shhh. Don't talk about the calories from the cheese. This was the point. Now eat your dinner.)
@solstice You don't keep any of the pasta water to try to thin the cheese into a sauce or anything?
Solstice last edited by
@solstice Just confirming. Like I said in my recipe, cheese and I are not friends, so I don't know much about cooking with it.
Solstice last edited by
Nah. It is a lazy recipe for difficult days. It's quick, it's slapdash, and it hits right where it needs to without any fuss!