Not sure what board it belongs on
I want to start this off by saying I'm actually really sad about this. It's the kind of sad that you just sort of accept it, but you aren't happy about the outcome. I'm not sobbing, but my heart hurts for this.
I first found MSB because I had left MU life for years. I was there on WORA and all the things. I've done amazing things and horrible things in the many years I have invested in this hobby. I left the hobby when a toxic level crossed some of my RL boundaries and I thought it had become unhealthy. I had a bad experience with a bad person and it was just better to leave. However, I freaking adore writing and making small stories with people. I like throwing things out there and seeing the reactions. I appreciate all that have been in this hobby with me.
I don't remember who, but they pointed out MSB and I was like wuh-oh WORA (lol). However, I found it to be more a community. I'm not in any 'in crowds' and I don't think I'm avoided. Or maybe I'm not self-aware enough for that. This site helped me to answer my questions about Arx (which is the only game I play) and helped me when players were creepy to me.
I am a non-reporter. My stories are on here. It exists. However, my style is avoidant and it serves my RL trauma (and internet ones) how it needs to. I was encouraged to talk about my issues with people here. That was amazing. It helped me see I was not in the wrong even when being gaslit. I got on a board that talked about ADHD and realized that some of my 'issues' could link back to that. As someone who's very private about their RL, this was a stretch for me to put things out there. However, the community embraced it. They answered questions I was too nervous to ask. It led me to a RL diagnosis that has helped my life extremely. Those things might not have happened without this board in place.
Then the admin shift happened. The bannings happened. Other boards were created. Posts were made. Comments were made. We know, we've gone through it. I stayed on both boards because I do truly paint the world with rose-tinted optimism and think everyone deserves chances. I believe people are not the situation they are in, they are people. People evolve good and bad and that we just have to understand what they are going through. This is just my belief nothing more. I have checked up on people through here when times were rough. I have continued to watch and my activity has gone down on both boards.
It's because I'm saddened by the aftermath of all things that have transpired. Now, I'm not popular (and I'm okay with this mostly), so my comments aren't going to have an effect. I fully know that and I'm okay with it. My hope is maybe something said sparks something to cause one to be a little more self-aware of perception over intention.
I've watched the debates on this board. I've watched the comments. I've witnessed the upvotes, the 'tone' of the things stated, I've watched the reactions to everything. I've seen the trends. To be honest, I don't think EITHER of the boards or ANY of the people on them are truly malicious in their posts here. I believe they are speaking their versions of everything.
I am disheartened that admin here are showing a clear bias towards each other. That they are shutting down comments that are directed at them. That there are a few posters here that are savagely aggressive in their comments. That thoughts, feelings, statements are being brushed aside and painted with an overall us vs them mentality. I'm not going to name names or posters. If you are involved you know. That's good enough.
I am going to step back from this board. I am not deleting myself yet. I am not sure what decisions I'm going to make. I don't believe in making them in the heart of the moment. My absence is not going to be felt, but for me --- I felt a need to make the post stating I'll be stepping back and why.
I do, honestly, wish everyone that reads this the best. I do. However, I don't think anyone is seeing the toxic nature of the posts happening here by those that are staying too. I think they are reacting (which is their right) and not pausing enough to realize how they are being perceived. I fully admit and believe it is not what they intend, but how it is coming across in a text based medium.
Anyways - thank you to the board for the things I needed when I needed them most. I'll take some time to see how I feel, but I do truly and heartfully wish everyone the best. We have so many options in life and we should strive to take the option of kindness.
Thank you for the RP (I play Esme - love her or hate her - primarily). Thank you for the laughter. Thank you for sharing lives and stories and information.
In closing to my very long post --- Please be kind to one another and also, most importantly, to yourselves.
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