I've made a secret of who I was playing exactly twice in my many mu*ing years.
One occasion I partially did it because @HelloRaptor told me that I have one of the most recognizable "mushing styles" and he would know me anywhere. As it happens, he didn't realize it was me until a year after the mu* closed and he posted looking for that person on WORA and I outed myself.
The other occasion I had made a character many years ago, on Ashes 2 Ashes, where I found out that a few of my RL friends were also playing. Turns out that one of those friends was playing the character mine was involved with and this player was someone who was very easily embarrassed/extremely shy so I never let it be known that was me.
I get a feeling it was easier back in the day when people didn't tend to add each other to skype and what not fairly easily. I mean, if I get on with someone well enough, I'll ask for their skype or e-mail to keep in touch just in case, which means that if I am keeping my alt a secret and they ask, I have to lie to my friend, which I don't really like.
"Excuse the hell out of you. He's a bag of dicks. I'm a carefully curated box of cocks." -- to @GirlCalledBlu upon being misrepresented.
@Coin said:
I get a feeling it was easier back in the day when people didn't tend to add each other to skype and what not fairly easily. I mean, if I get on with someone well enough, I'll ask for their skype or e-mail to keep in touch just in case, which means that if I am keeping my alt a secret and they ask, I have to lie to my friend, which I don't really like.
When's back then? I first discovered ICQ when people started asking for my UIN back in 199x and people used PMs pretty regularly at the time to keep in touch about the game.
Not many used group-chat back then that I remember, though. Obviously YMMV.
@Arkandel
In general that entire thing seems much more recent for MUers than otherwise? But it may just be me that gets that impression. I don't know.
There were obviously always people who were buddies in other types of games or forums, who'd chat on IM or even who knew each other through university groups. And I made semi-real people friends with other MU*ers who I exchanged emails/IM handles/Facebook invites with. It was always a really small group who I'd played with for a long time, though. It definitely feels more common now. I think I got my first out-of-the-blue request from a player I didn't know terribly well to Skype about two years ago. They clearly weren't being weird of stalkery about it, they just thought it was normal to Skype with people they played with casually. I've always been fairly guarded about keeping my RL separate from my gaming (different than OOC separation to me), so mileage may vary.
I feel like this is good, really, even though it occasionally makes the Old Man On Porch With Shotgun side of me (maybe my favorite side, if I'm being honest) cringe. I'm actually encountering newbs more often than I did those same two years ago, even if the player pool itself certainly hasn't gotten noticeably bigger. I think it opens up the hobby a little bit, and allows easier recruitment from other types of gaming.
I think the number of folks who are open with casual gaming folks has been very consistent over the 20+ years I've been MUSHing. There's more avenues towards it now, but I don't know, even when I was starting out--I went to visit folks, talked on the phone with local people and sometimes not-local people, there were kind of rudamentary chat programs and OOC chat was always an option. There's just more platforms today.
I think it's more a personality thing than a culture shift. I am one of the few people I know who uses my real name in skype, ect. I'm not in a profession where this could damage me. I am a big people person, so that's part of it. I respect folks who are not that way, and don't pressure (I don't think). If you are in town, I'd love to take you to lunch. But that's not just with online stuff for me, I mean I'm just that sort of person anyway, if friend/family of friends are in my town I'm happy to show them the sights or invite them to dinner or whatever too.
I have derived some benefit from this on MUSHes though, because I have met a great many people in RL that I did not really care for much online, and getting to know them over a beer and some card games at the local tavern or just getting some face to face interaction gave me a feeling for them outside of our personality conflict on the mush, and in most cases while I still would not choose them as a primary RP partner, I enjoyed my OOC interactions with them from then on out.
I am private to the point of paranoia about my RL identity, and go far out of my way to obfuscate it. I'm not at all the same about my online identities, namely my alts. I actually remember a lot of them.
I have been known to make an alt and not tell anyone who I am. However, I have tells just like everyone else. So if they message me and go: ZOMG, are you... --- Then I sigh a bit and respond that I am, but hey keep it between us. I don't want to lie OOC about a game. That's just annoying to me. However, sometimes I like an unknown alt so that people don't page me about the other characters. I should state that I don't do this when I staff. However, I can understand how a staff member could want one alt that was not known.
I don't think in most cases this is to be shady. I just think that staff want downtime too. It's hard to play where you staff because people page your known alts. Or they say well you were logged onto X, why couldn't you be doing my jobs, etc? When all the staffer wanted was a break to play the game and not look at staff. I think it's a bit strange that because someone volunteers to help run your fun time that people feel they are entitled to their time. It's a job to staff. Your RL job you have days off, they need it on a game too. Now I think this alt should be a mortal and without power and influence of course. Sort of like a support character to the storyline, but not the main character.
When it comes to Skype/FB/Whatever - this actually weirds me out. I know I'm probably a minority in this but I don't want random people in my real life. I don't even like to share my real life with people IN my real life. I'm shockingly a private person by nature, so I get a little off put by people asking for my information. I think it's okay to be like: Hey I'm JonBob2 on Skype if you ever want to add me. But not: What is your Skype, I want to add you.
I come in at the opposite side of the spectrum to the alt transparency discussion. I only keep tabs on alts of people who have burned me in some fashion in the past, expressly for the purpose of simply finding something else on a game to be doing that avoids involvement with them.
Call it metagaming all you like, or label it and package it how you feel, but the bottom line is if I left HM to get away from the person who was playing all 10 of the alts my 1 alt had interaction with, because Staff questioned me about COI when they caught me playing in the business her 1 alt worked at, her 2nd alt owned, her 3rd alt funded, and her 4th alt was after in a hostile takeover, was getting shaken down by the alt in the alley outside, and was living with her alt cross-town, and the idea I was only ever playing with was 1 basically stalking player had turned my stomach, and then when I go to TR and she follows and makes a new 10 alts to brush into mine, I feel entitled, upon finding out it's her, to have my stomach turn and try to find another spot on the game to play. Or to avoid the Sphere she is in charge of when she finally swaps to Staff.
That's really the only reason I watch for signs of altaholism. Self-preservation.
I have a little more empathy for alt privacy now that I finally experienced alt-stalking in a way that was extremely stressful and felt very violating.
I have always respected alt-privacy because I've always known people who that was important to. But I can see how one bad experience would really affect things. My own was pretty...not nice.
In my experience those who use alt privacy for cheating are very few and far compared to alt privacy bringing some peace of mind to others that want to have it.
@mietze said:
In my experience those who use alt privacy for cheating are very few and far compared to alt privacy bringing some peace of mind to others that want to have it.
I'm not against privacy in terms of people figuring out who your alts are. I just think it's unattainable without going through a considerable, consistent investment of effort and time which can all go to waste if you screw up even once and expose yourself.
@Arkandel anything that you can do to make you feel safe should be something - within the rules - that you are allowed to at least attempt. I know most people who try to keep a low profile do so with the knowledge that it's ultimately useless. But if it makes you feel better for a while, hey, why not?
Some things should be open to all, some not... If you're not allowed to know your accuser, there should never be more than just a sternly worded page to you. That being said, I can see an argument for keeping identities secret. I just had the pleasure of having a 'Dominant Alpha Male' as he called himself, thrown from a mush because he was trolling every female characterbit (assuming said person was a female IRL) to become a submissive for his harem, and not getting a clue when most of them would tell him to GTFO.
So meh, where do you draw the line? Can I be frankly honest and say that anything you say to anyone in a mush setting will get told to someone else, no matter how much you say 'oh this is hush hush, just between you and me' mushers are gossipers. I can count on one hand the number of the umpteen hundred mushers I've played with, that I could actually believe would keep a secret. Sometimes I tell wicked lies just to see how long it takes before someone will spread it, then I make sure to let them know they failed that test. Yes I am a bastard.
Staff discussions, they're shared with everyone, everyone knows what you said, everyone knows what is going on behind the scenes, to pretend otherwise, not only makes you hypocritical when you make a big announcement saying quite the opposite of what happened. It is just the way it is. So, do you need transparency in some things? Maybe? But to me, the biggest thing is, when you approach someone from a Staff/OOC perspective, be honest. Honesty is probably the biggest thing that negates the need for transparency.
If everyone was honest with each other and upfront and straightforward, we could probably quash most of the issues that hamper mushing today.
Also, 'you' in this case, is a generalized 'you' not you specifically ES. 
I get a feeling it was easier back in the day when people didn't tend to add each other to skype and what not fairly easily. I mean, if I get on with someone well enough, I'll ask for their skype or e-mail to keep in touch just in case, which means that if I am keeping my alt a secret and they ask, I have to lie to my friend, which I don't really like.
