@apotheosis

At this point, that is all I can add to this conversation. If you can't say something without being a bigot, it just shouldn't be said. This isn't the site for that.

I'm probably gonna regret this, but screw it. So many leave theirs, I figure maybe I'll find someone cool from way back

Past
Firan: Moyanet, Tiasha, Zhara (the last one), Deltha (The first and third one), Madika, Enigma (The last one), Leanne, and I'm sure a bunch more over the years that I've forgotten.
Star Conquest: Leila, Konoka
Arx: Lailah, Avaline, Denica
8th Sea: Andrea
Marsilikos: Madeleine
Ithir: Theleria
Current
Arx: Joslyn
Ithir: Moyanet
Gray Harbor: Maya
Stealth Updates: List current as of December 25, 2019

@arkandel said in MUSH Marriages (IC):

@ganymede said in MUSH Marriages (IC):

Seriously, I've had great relationship RP. Fun relationship RP, that didn't always become about the hawt seX0rz. I can think of a dozen folks I have such a good time with in a relationship, mostly because, I guess, I'm not clingy or needy as a player.

After a long time in the hobby I think where things usually break down is where any kind of boundary getting crossed isn't met with an immediate - mild, but clear - message that it's inappropriate. It doesn't have to be a fight or a 'breakup', but it does need to be explicitly communicated and not argued.

When it comes to some of the needier, angst-filled people in our community signals room for negotiation. So I whine at you because you're playing in a room with your alt with someone else and you try to explain yourself, the message you are sending ("hey, I'm not doing anything wrong, man") isn't the one I'm receiving ("if I make your life miserable every time you do this, you'll stop doing this, and instead only play with me"). It's because that's what I want to read, and what I want from you, yet what you want isn't a concern of mine.

The correct messaging has to be explicit. I think you are doing a good job of that, and it's something I wish more people did since it'd eliminate much of the drama. "Hey, I play alts whose RP is separate than the RP we have together. I do different things sometimes, it doesn't mean I don't like the RP we have." If there's any pushback on it, offer to figure out a way to transition out of the RP you have with that person - and if there's more pushback I'd advise to turn the offer into a mandate. Don't argue the point, just declare it; this signals your boundaries aren't up for debate.

Lines. They need to exist, and they need to be respected, else bad things can, have, and will continue to happen.

The amount of truth in this is mind boggling. I wish somebody had pointed this out to me years ago. I could have avoided a lot of drama. I've always had a hard time putting up boundaries OOC. I just wish people wouldn't keep trying to drag their RL baggage into an IC relationship.

My favorite marriage I ever had was with a political match, arranged marriage with a man that loved my character, but she hated him and resented everything he did. We had a lot of great rp out of it, and ooc we were all cool about it. Communication was key, because we were horrid to each other, but that's what RP is. It ISN'T REAL. I think far too often people forget that. I sometimes need a little reminder myself.

Okay I cannot resist.

Joslyn

My alt that I only tell close friends about

The big thing that has always kept me away from a lot of superhero MUs is that I'm just not interested in playing as Batman or other already established heroes, but an OC of my creation? I'm totally down for that, and era doesn't bother me, as long as I get to make a badass superhero lady (Boob window optional)

With me it's pretty simple and it's actually very easy to get immersed, but a few things need to happen to really draw me in. Things need to feel connected, or else it just feels like nothing matters. It's why rp rooms disconnected from any kind of larger grid just don't work for me, it makes it all feel so much less alive for day to day rp. The option to create a room for one off scenes works great for events, or prps, but a grid where people could wander through your square because they were in the neighborhood? Maybe you leave a room because you hear shouts from outside and see that a fight has broken out in a separate scene. In a system of rooms, those two scenes could never interact in such a natural and fluid way. The lack of a grid makes everything feel so much more rigid and disconnected. A well made grid can make a game spring to life for me. I think the simple approach to Arx's grid is rather perfect. To start? That's really all I need. A world that feels consistent and real.

I also need real consequences. If I charge the big bad while naked and unarmed, I shouldn't be able to just say that I don't consent to my death. Losing a character has never been easy for me, I'm an emotional person, after all, but without that risk of death, it all feels so inconsequential. I mean, if I'm not going to die anyway, what's the point of showing up to the battle? To show off? (I'll add I appreciate the approach that Arx has to PK, in that you're not likely to be ambushed and murdered for no immediately apparent reason)

A roster system I've also found helps. Gives a sense of permanence to the characters, instead of a rotating door of OCs that never stick around.

I don't know why options are a bad thing. I don't get how giving those of us that like fashion relevance is a bad thing. Lifestyle gives you those bonuses, but a fashion system gives crafters relevance, as of now people have declared expensive clothes a waste of money because it provides no coded benefit, and if you don't want to spend all this time coding your outfits, there are several crafters that can provide those for you. If you don't want to use the fashion system, than don't. I quit being a crafter myself because it wasn't how I wanted to spend my RP time, and yet I still manage to acquire tons of outfits, pre fashion system, just because I like having them.

@kitteh While I still don't agree completely, I do see what you're saying. The thing is, the barrier for entry is not nearly as bad as it could be in Firan, and the way the XP system is designed in Arx makes me feel like leveling up will be interesting for far longer than it was in Firan. When I said that the gap between newbie and dino will narrow, what I meant was, if I were to start a new character today, I would be able to more quickly acquire the skills I want and need to catch up to a dino in the sphere that I want to gain entry in. Nothing will eliminate the problem completely (and Arx definitely needs a few sinks put into place, because right now everybody is too insanely rich), but I think Arx has done a great job of making it attainable and fun to try to get yourself to the same level as the people that have been playing for twice as long as I have. So like... I hear what you're saying, but I definitely think that what we have here is way better. I'm honestly not sure what I would even change about it to make it better.

@saosmash I think I'm still in denial about George Takei

Okay I cannot resist.

Joslyn

My alt that I only tell close friends about

I'm Joslyn and I don't really give out my alt, but she exists!

Been doing stealth updates for a while, also trying to dip my toes into Gray Harbor! Haven't done anything yet but... Well I hope to change that eventually. Back on Arx full swing though.

I have some unlisted alts, maybe I'll tell sometime but for now I like my privacy!

Why does it not surprise me to learn that you have a character called "Butters"?

I'll jump onto the "she was so great" bandwagon. I wasn't aware she was so popular, but I need her Fatima back in my life!

The employee bathrooms are in the locker rooms. Single seat. So when I have to go, I have a litany of people coming in.

"Is anybody in there?"

"Yes."

"What?"

... Did you not just hear a human voice coming from in here? Great bathroom setup for people with anxiety, too!

I tend to play outgoing and confident characters. I think in part because IRL I have a hard time being so self assured, but in RP I can be that person I wish I could be irl. I like my characters to be kind, but usually harbor a darker side, secrets and all.

But I also like to step outside of my comfort zone, play criminals, or nasty people. I just can't do it when alts are limited, or else I'd feel like I have to be that asshole character all the time. Madika on Firan comes to mind, she was such a fun, in your face, asshole.

@apotheosis You're referring to the election where the winner lost by 3 million votes?

@apotheosis

At this point, that is all I can add to this conversation. If you can't say something without being a bigot, it just shouldn't be said. This isn't the site for that.