This is a really enragingly bad video & I've deleted it from my watch history because youtube's algorithm already subjects me to too much puerile whining from gamers who think they've been wounded by the existence of perspectives outside their own.
It's just not that hard to communicate with the players you're at the table with, be it a tabletop table or a MUSH table, about their comfort levels.
I'm impressed with all of you sharing your stories. I'm sorry I don't really feel comfortable enough with mine to share it in a broad way right now. I have a weird diagnosis that is neither fish nor fowl and the short version is that I am frustrated about it. I'm being treated instead for the concomitant depression and anxiety that come with being an untreated neurodevelopmental problem. 
I have played bigoted characters before. It was in an acknowledged way that recognized that bigotry OOC, though, written into part of his concept. I wanted him to be able to work towards development on-camera and eventually change over time, and in some ways he grew; in other ways I'm not sure it ever got addressed in part because the game in question ended but it was an important part of his arc.
I think that one of the most important things about playing any kind of asshole who has the capacity to be hurtful to other characters is to double down on being nice OOC while you're doing it. If you can't do this, you shouldn't be playing an asshole in my opinion.
That said, if you're going to give people a lot of IC shit for things your character is bigoted about -- race, sexuality, whatever -- you absolutely should not be flinging it at them in metaposes. It must be respondable. There should be a very clear IC/OOC divide about where the stuff begins and ends. And if someone really is OOC uncomfortable with it, keep it out of their face.
I have no need to force someone who deals with this shit OOC on a day to day basis to deal with it in a game if they aren't up for it. It's all about being sensitive to the collaborative nature of what we're playing here.
What you've described is very different from how jury trials work, too. But even in the bizarre world where that's a jury trial, lemme explain something here.
Trial by jury exists to ensure fairness in fact finding beyond a reasonable doubt. Reasonable doubt exists as a standard of proof because of the belief that restriction of personal liberty is the hardest thing a government should ever be able to do to an individual person.
To compare "not being able to play on a game anymore" to the restriction of fundamental personal liberty in real life goes beyond myopic to actually offensive. I'm gonna be in a jury trial next week to defend a person who is accused of ending the life of another human being. He's facing years in prison. That justifies the tremendous effort and expense of a jury trial.
No one, in the history of justice, would call a jury trial "efficient". It is one of the least efficacious ways of administering justice there is. Because the rights at stake are so important. Human rights are important so we sacrifice efficiency in favor of protecting them.
You know what isn't an important right?
The privilege of playing a pretendy game on someone else's server.
Misbehaving on a game doesn't entitle you to a jury trial. This is similar to misbehaving in a restaurant and being told to leave. You know those signs that say "we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone"? Totes legal. And when you harass another customer and get thrown out of the restaurant, there's no appeal because this is a free goddamn country and that's a private business.
I see a whole lot of arguing against what no one is saying on this thread.
It is fine to have a concern about a thing you observe and to check in with a person accordingly.
It is fine to play IC creepers and many of us do so.
Obviously, you don't start a crusade against a person based on some poses you didn't like without any other evidence.
Is anyone actually disagreeing with any of this?
@groth You have no idea what someone else is feeling; you don't know their trauma or their disorders. You can only interact with them according to your own capacity. Your assumptions here about the suffering of others are frustrating because many, many people on this forum struggle with various kinds of disorder.
Empathy does not require commonality of experience - it is empathy. I can respect, even understand, the feelings and emotions of someone different from me without experiencing them. Many people have great capacity for empathy and imagination. When I can't, I can recognize the limits of my own perceptions and still recognize the validity of their emotions and feelings.
I can empathize with another person whose struggle is wildly different from my own. That empathy does not require that I twist myself into a pretzel trying to subordinate my needs to theirs.
It's not anyone's job but my own to manage my mental health. And in my experience, people attempting to use MU** as their therapeutic outlet - it's as unhealthy for them as for everyone around them. It not only isn't fair to the rest of the game, it doesn't work.
@silenthills man get your passive aggressive stuff out of the genuine positivity thread come onnnnnn we have a whole hog pit for this
I guess I've never done one of these.
FORMER:
Harper's Tale: Janysi, Araamis, Inamorata, Mnemosyne, Dashvard, Saohlai/Sao
VirtuaPern: C'dien
There were some other people on some other Pern games but I have forgotten them ...
HogwartsMUSH(I think?): Mustrum Wallace
X-Men Movieverse: John Grey, Ellen Dramstadt, Percy Talhurst, Jeremy Wallace, Storm/Ororo Munroe, Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch, Sam Sikorski, Tom Sikorski, Ilad Tal-Shachar (look this was over a long period of time okay); Viola (staff alt)
Firan: Inut, Malatan, Alora, Alarus, Lemachus, Nazina, various others that I no longer remember, aka Eliza/VanillaBuilder
Kushiel's-- ? shit, I forget the name. The Kushiel game I played on! You know!: Thierry, Anna
Steel & Stone: Dmitry Terrick
Second Pass: P'lo, L'lei, Tzaya
Alpha & Omega: Narath, Scipia, Thierry, Christophe, Iko, Sao (staff alt)
Transformers: Robots in Disguise: Breakdown, Ultra Magnus, Chromia, A'Tuin (staff alt)
XFNYC: Jeremy Wallace, Eleanor Rutledge, Sao (staff alt)
Fear & Loathing: Sasha
NOLA: Proux
Valorous Dominion: Beatrice
Sometimes a Great Notion: Beryn Ciro
Transformerrs: Lost & Found: Ultra Magnus, Breakdown, Gearstrip, Whisper, Sao (staff alt)
CURRENT
Arx (current): Aureth, Pietro (rip -- i miss you babe), Tikva
Spirit Lake: Dominica, JC
The Network: Ivan
Hello!
@kanye-qwest I also think "don't take it on yourself to publicly white knight for people who don't put on their big girl pants" would be a good lesson to take from this whole deal.
@macha I really thought, genuinely, that since more than ten years had passed your behavior might have changed and that you might have grown out of some of your patterns. But we really should have banned you from our game when your player management thread reached the end of its second full page.
I can only hope that your demonstration of yourself to the community over the course of this contretemps has showed the gaming community enough of who you are that, in the future, you won't be able to manipulate other staffers and hurt other games the way you hurt ours.
Bye!
@macha A slap on the wrist for saying "message received" and then blocking you? Why?
@mietze I'm sorry that you feel as though there has been any failure here on your part. I don't think it was ever reasonable to expect you to come back and magically fix all the issues that occurred in your absence. Please continue to take care of you. 
@lotherio Auspice was removed as admin based on her actions. People reacted badly to things that she did. Not to harm her or coerce her, but to stop her from continuing to hurt people.
Actions have consequences. I'm not party to what happened amongst the admin, but I do remember at least one hurtful lie that she spread about me personally that I was shocked and upset to discover evidence of, so ... I'm not at all sorry that someone who behaved that way is no longer a mod here.
Are you saying you are a neutral party? Because that's definitely not the perception you are conveying.
Your position on discord is weird. I gave out my discord ID because people I otherwise don't communicate with were banned or left the forum where I usually communicate with them. Now I talk to them on discord. Curious??
@lotherio The new "code of conduct" appears to be a result of review. It appears to be a result of review that fails to address several of the issues, continues to insist on all complaints being in private, and doubles down on the initial flawed ban (while appearing to say you can just block people you don't want to talk to -- but you still can't block Derp, which was high on the list of reasons I had concerns about the initial elevation).
It is not reasonable to demand silence while continuing to speak.
I think you need to look into the definition of your terms. For example, dictionary citations:
Bully (verb form): "seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable)."
You can't bully someone who is in authority over you.
Clique (noun): a small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.
The exclusivity is part of the definition.
I have been holding my tongue here because that has been the request. I have little interest in continuing to participate in a version of this community that does not course correct, but I have continued to wait and observe. What I have observed so far has not heartened me.
Any story I could tell probably comes down to "you had to be there," but this hobby has been a consistent source of hilarity for me for decades.
@derp I loved to see her and Uhura introducing herself to each other too. All the lovely nostalgic fan service, but not in a way that it was disruptive to the story? Very nicely done.
@derp also re: strange new worlds the expansion on Spock/T'Pring was fascinating (lol) and i loved getting more insight into Vulcan social norms being matriarchal (which falls in line with T'Pau!!!). It was just such great insight into a female character who in the original series was basically just like an irredeemable raging bitch, and the show is like 'oh did you know relationships have two people in them who both have perspectives'.
When this was first bruited about I was like, ??? more prequel shit, but honestly I take it all back. Makes me wanna go look for Sarek/Amanda fanfic that takes that into account, except that I'm old and I don't have time for fanfic anymore.
(Also omg baby Uhura legitimately solving things with communication!)
It's also nice to have TV that I can watch with my dad. Discovery has been A Bit Much for him, but the aggressive tie-ins to TOS work to keep him interested. My parents were huge Trek nerds. We watched GoT together but it was basically like, uh, suffering.
