I do this thing, whenever I schedule something I am obligated to run for people. I fret, I worry, I think it won't be fun for them, or for me, and I generally dread it right up until it is almost over.

But sometimes, you manage to make the mechanics work out, and they aren't so much that they are stressful, and players seem to be in to your emits and how you set the scene, and they are buying in, and striving, and being POIGNANT and HILARIOUS and AMAZING and you realize you are having a blast. GMing a large combat scene.

That never happens to me! But it did tonight and it was great.

It's the age old problem. People get mad when other people get things, because it seems like that's a thing they will not get, now. Those same people then get a thing and point out how unfair and awful it is that anyone is mad at them, because there was that one time they didn't get the thing but someone else did. Other people get sad because things don't always make sense. Sometimes people have cold sores.

My main thoughts:
it is important to remember that the PCs are NOT THE MAJORITY OF THE PEERAGE. There will never, ever, be a point where all the noble houses are duchies.

People want to attain things and feel like they have made an impact in the game world. This elevation thing is just one of the shapes that takes.

The only way to actually fix this, imo, is to get the systems in and tested and then do a hard reboot/time skip/wipe. Beta!

When something happens you don't agree on, and everything is muddled and kind of sucky, but it leads to a really healthy discussion and agreement about a better way to handle things as staff, moving forward.

I like reaching understandings.

@tinuviel Yeah, I agree.

I was telling apos last night that I, like many American people of my generation, used to use the word 'gay' to indicate something was lame, or whack. If you'd asked me if I had a problem with homosexuals, I would have been appalled. I didn't. I never, ever have, I think they should have all the rights and consideration anyone else does. I didn't think homosexuality was lame, or bad, or gross. I just used gay, with different context.

Then I grew up a little. I realized that intention is not the same thing as effect, and that even though I wasn't intending it as a condemnation of any person, they could certainly take it that way. And, since 'calling things gay instead of a dozen other words' is not an INTRINSIC FUCKING PART of my identity, I made the effort to stop.

It's really hard to admit when you've been an asshole, but doing so makes both you (the general you) and the world slightly better.

ETA: TLDR it's best to only cry 'my freedom of expression is being impugned upon" when what you are being asked/told to stop is an integral part of your identity, or is important to you.

These are not my dogs (ALAS) but

Braum as a puppy!

Braum now (STILL A PUPPY)

Who has time?! I mean rationally I know lots of people have time. I have done TS maybe 2-3 times in the last....6 years. Arbitrary number of years. Granted, I'm not RPing full time.

The rules are:
*it has to be part of a story or character development
*no weird ooc comments on it please, thanks
*no 2nd person posing
*no 'we just met and we are super in love now we are going to have four babies and do happy homestead rp"

Handsome fella

lol. lmao.

@derp said in Question: Code of Conduct:

I'll just go ahead and answer these.

Point number 1: Questions are welcome via PM because Ganymede has said that questions are welcome via PM when it comes to administrative decisions. She might decide to open up the board for it. I don't know. What I do know is that our standing request is to have them done via PM, so I put them in there via PM.

Point Number 2: This isn't a bug. It's a feature. You might have noticed, but certain persons have gone to great lengths to skate right along the very border of what a written, explicit rule will let them get away with, and then choose to cite that rule back in the face of the mods when told to knock it off. So now we've given notice that this kind of behavior will be seen as violating the rule in question. For 99% of our users, this won't ever be an issue. For that other 1%, they're now on official notice.

So who is on notice, exactly? I ask because an admin just made a vague disciplinary threat in a thread, and I personally am only accepting them in PM. But not from you- don’t ever contact me directly thx

@lotherio you are exhibiting no understanding of what words like “minority” or “bully” mean, even conceptually

The admin banned almost everyone who was protesting with no hesitation. I think you can stop stomping the picket lines to defend them from all the unwarranted terrorism, my guy! Like what even, lmao

@bloodangel questions are only acceptable via dm so that they may be dismissed or misrepresented as pleases the lieges

@Ganymede you fucking thumb

lol. lmao.

@phaedrus said in Hog Pit as read only:

question, dear reader, was about forming relationships during the first three months of having the character - which is a very sensible rule that I was very much happy to follow).

Also, that is not the rule. The rule is that you can't make big changes to a char that would involve them leaving their families/orgs/important relationships, etc, in the first 3 months of playing them, unless those changes were already on their sheets.

@phaedrus I don't know if you're lying, or you just didn't understand this rule for some reason. In case you didn't understand, I will give examples.

You can't take a knight, who is a dedicated knight per their sheet, and decide in week 2 they want to break their oaths to become a common merchant or something.

You can't take someone dedicated to their spouse and decide to go godsworn in week 3.

You can't take a noble sheeted to be determined to marry someone of very high birth and ONLY if it doesn't require marrying out of family, and then immediately decide to marry out.

@phaedrus said in Hog Pit as read only:

At the end of the day, though, no one told me when I took that character that he was reserved for his IC sister, which is fundamentally what the whole issue was in the first place, and led to all of this regrettable offense.

You can keep saying things like this, I suppose, but that won't make them true.

There's an entire set of manipulative tactics I see from online people - often bad actors - and they are so painfully transparent. One of them (1) is to keep asserting falsehoods as if they are something anyone else has confirmed or agreed with.

You were playing the character against his sheet, first of all. You were planning to obey the letter of the 3 month rule while completely trashing the spirit of it. It's not about the number of days, it's about encouraging people to play a character as written, both for CONTINUITY of the world - and because they might find they like the character as written. And if they don't, they should probably find another character.

Another of those painfully transparent manipulation tactics is (2) fishing for clues as to who reported them after they are banned. I'd say fully 75% of the people I banned or paid attention to the bannings of did this. And here you are, doing what looks suspiciously like padding the stats.

Sometimes they do this by pretending innocence. "Gosh, I don't even know what I could possibly have done! No one has talked to ME about it. No one has complained to ME, whatever is this about?"

Sometimes they do this by immediately trying to guess. "Oh, is this about x that happened? I told them they misunderstood, I didn't mean it like that!"

Sometimes they do it by appearing contrite. "Oh no! I would never mean to do such a thing! I'd really like to apologize, for my own peace of mind! But - to whom?"

Sometimes they do it by stating something false or oversimplified, in the hopes eventually it will annoy someone so much they'll be baited into giving away those clues. Such as, hm, glance above this post.

PS (pspspsps) I played your brother for the end of your tenure on this char. I went to a big open scene with an NPC to support your char, being vocal and involved. My experience of you was:

• you barely acknowledged me
• you attacked a powerful NPC no one could scratch with no armor, and then complained in OOC (and? I don't actually remember if it was both) channels about how apparently USELESS and WEAK your char was when you didn't win (which is against the rules of the game)
• you said something OOC to me about having to go for RL, completely unprompted, I assume as a way to indicate we'd have to RP another time
• you then were on @where IC elsewhere with other chars. Now, maybe your RL was quick! I can't know, and don't care. But you def chose to use OOC communication with me instead of IC.
• the next few days, you sent an IC message to me and our IC sister, indicating we should get together for a family dinner wherein you would 'try to be nice to each other' or something.

The end. Not the most extensive experience but it didn't leave me with much hope you were really out there 'stimulating rp and running events'.

I'm sure some people are happy to buy your narrative of this. I am just not, considering my experience with the behavior markers I see.

@phaedrus I'm still here! PS (pspspsps), a lot of it was noticing your attempts to skirt around the game rules for new characters twice. Also, the copious amounts of other people who reported you, like Glitch, one of the founders of this forum

But go off, I guess, if it makes you feel better.

Maybe you'll get upvotes from those still very upset about people not liking them over a decade ago. Find your own clique to call home.

I've got no interest in watching the rest of this process, so I'll leave you with some free advice.

If ever you see a person characterize themselves as 'highly logical' or 'rational' or 'robotic', that is an unmistakable indication that they have zero emotional maturity or self awareness, and they will absolutely lose their shit if ever pressed in any way.