Posts made by gryphter

I don't even fucking know anymore. Somewhere between sitting here trying to persevere through a panic attack and complete my work, and erasing my personal files from my (rented) personal computer so I can return it as I can't seemingly afford the one object in this house that sparks joy, I really feel like I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Why in the hell am I battering myself against this joyless, soul-killing job only to not afford my life? My complaining about my job and my (new) complaining about struggling with the onset of this anxiety disorder are starting to sicken me, I can't stand to listen to myself anymore, but I also can't continue to grind myself into a fluffy, irritable, panic-ridden dust so that I can eke the minimum possible amount of joy and enjoyment out of life. I want to get the fuck off.

This is where I'm at also. I only live about 15 minutes from the office, but my new awareness of the not-new panic disorder I have is making it hella hard to physically go to work. I need to swivel this thing into a remote job, but I'm not totally woke to what that process is.

I'm no good to you from a code perspective, but I could do some grid layout and building, perhaps. Other non-code slavery at need.

@Auspice Upvote for support, downvote for content.

@Seamus I feel like the bottom line is we're working at some boring, boring, boring places. Devs can go work at Google and get paid better and enjoy a culture that's built to court and keep them... so they do. We can't attract or keep devs for shit.

@Seamus I'm in Maine, but we sure do have a location in Georgia. Do you work for the goddess of wisdom?

@Seamus I'm in the operations branch of a similar outfit, and your story spoke to me as we too constantly struggle to get anything done by the dev and product teams. Even critical issues that cause us to post checks and claims incorrectly don't get addressed in a timely manner. I die inside every time I get the response 'dev owns that' or 'that's a JIRA task'.

@popes Solid plan. You never know, the game might draw a coder who wants to take that on. I'm not being coy; I couldn't code my way out of an ASCII paper bag. Stranger things have happened, though.

@Auspice I've watched them hire at least a half dozen people a rung above me that are less qualified and skilled and have turned out to be dead weight. My scope far exceeds. It's just such a stupid game. I'm down to run like hell and work like a horse if I can be assured it will get me somewhere, but I'm really beginning to wonder. And become disheartened.

@Roz You're right though. Just what a pain.

@Roz

I'm two years into a new career, but at my age I had some wily old man tricks that let me move fast, at first. I made my way off the entry level team, dragged down a promotion, got a nice chunky bonus and all that good stuff in the first year.

Now they've got me working way above my pay grade, and I'm feeling super exploited with the amount of work I'm doing at the level I'm doing it at for the pay I'm getting. I don't really feel like I have the clout to say I'm so great at this stuff I should get promoted more, and yet, they do in fact have me doing the work of someone years my senior. I do this work; it's a non-issue. I just feel like I ought to get paid the appropriate salary, somehow.