@Meg My cosbropolitan friend, I disagree with nothing in your post. Indeed, I should've just messaged the one person and said, "Hey, do you mind taking that log down"? That would've been the best approach. Mea culpa!

And, as mentioned in one of their last posts they did do me a solid- despite sharing the log they have not breached confidentiality by sharing our private correspondence. Having reminded me of such, I am experiencing what the 4channers call "troll's remorse". So! I will trouble you all with my upvotes and post-hoc rationalizations no more.

Good luck with your creative endeavors (not being sarcastic!) and witch-hunting (probably being sarcastic, there).

And why not celebrate my departure with a string of high-quality memes? I'll get the party started.

@surreality You wrote a heartfelt post, and you deserve a response.

Let's get this out of the way: I am not the person who sent you the literal-stalker pages. My trollish behavior does not extend to actual threats, just juvenile antics. At the height of my negative feelings towards you I never even felt the urge to go so far as that, let alone act on such an urge.

I'm sorry that someone else did feel that way, and I'm sorry for the muddying the waters of your justified response to that abhorrent behavior with my idiotic shitposting, upvoting, etc. I'm also apologetic and pissed-off at myself if I contributed to any kind of mental health breakdown on your part (I believe you said that in another thread). You don't deserve that. Sadly I was in a fucked up mental state where feelings of guilt provoke further trolling.

Not to excuse myself, but just to clarify- I did not deliberately choose the name of someone who abused you in the past, when I paged you out of the blue that time. It was a random name I was going to use for the character. That fact doesn't excuse the conduct of that conversation, but there you have it. It was a very unfortunate coincidence and led to a lot of problems down the line.

You are 100% correct in all your statements. Years, if not decades ago, MU*ing became something corrosive to my mental health. I reached out to you for help, you were busy at the time. Things got worse for me in every conceivable way and instead of being honest in my communication with you, I devolved into further shitty behavior. You don't deserve that.

Anything else I could add is going to be better suited for a private conversation. If you want to make that happen, well, you know my IRL name, it's not hard to find me on social media. I won't reach out to you that way out of respect for your privacy and current state of health.

Thanks for your post. You're a great person, and that is a 100% sincere remark on my part. Feel free to reach out anytime. I won't be a dick to you.

@surreality Came back to give you a non trolling upvote for your kind response. Nothing more to add because the board is so toxic it doesn't make sense to have a heartfelt conversation here. You know how to find me if you wish to do so and no worries at all if you don't or if you don't yet.

@WTFE I'm guessing you read my posts all the way up to, but not including, my last exchange with @surreality. Read those and you will see why I am actually and honestly done here. I have nothing else to discuss here. I'm not MU*ing anymore.

As a side note: @surreality, you should log off for the rest of the night and do something awesome and relaxing that you enjoy. The Internet turns the best of us into Id-ruled shadows of ourselves. I should know, I'm case study number one in "From nice guy to raging asshole and back."

@Auspice It's funny when people ignore your posts and don't realize when you've stopped arguing pages before they have. Then they tag you and insult you for still arguing. Wait, now I'm arguing. Fuck. Bye!

@Meg Neither is being a sarcastic piece of shit. I guess dude gets a pass on that because his schtick is funny.

@Meg OK, good point. How about this, I will refrain from explicitly wishing a disease on the guy (I should talk, I'm not too far from an alcohol-induced illness myself) and will apologize to him for doing so, because if he did get a disease and then posted about it here, I'd feel bad.

But insofar as he keeps being a sarcastic turd towards me, I will give it to him right back, because I'm in that kind of mood.

How's that for transactional forum ethics? I swear I don't want to keep posting here, but I'm the kind of person who obsesses over small slights and can't give it a rest until I've made a response. In other words I guess I fit in perfectly here.

Why else do people post? It's not like we're an neural network ceaselessly computing the cure for cancer. No one really has a good reason to be posting on an Internet forum.

Sorry @WTFE . You're rubbing me the wrong way and my anger is disproportionate to the stimulus. I really should have left here after my last post to @surreality . I'm pissed at you because I'm an alcoholic. I was blackout drunk when I first fucked with surr on Shangrila and started this mess. I've been drunk most of the times I taunted her via the idiotic medium of upvoting. It'd have been better for everyone concerned if I was honest about all of this from the get-go. Hell, it would have been better for everyone if I just went back to lurking as I have been since the WORA days. I'm going to shut the fuck up now. I am going to change my password for the 3rd time today and hope I can exercise the self-control required to stay away. You'll probably make another drinking joke about how I'll come back again. That's fine by me, I don't mind, and I renounce my anger on the subject. Now it's time to get another bottle of wine (wifey and I are doing double duty on a delicious bottle of Chardonnay).

Why else do people post? It's not like we're an neural network ceaselessly computing the cure for cancer. No one really has a good reason to be posting on an Internet forum.

@WTFE I should stick around just to see how committed you are to this drinking game of yours.

@Meg Thanks. You have a talent for moderation / mediation.

@Auspice If I were you I'd reblock me. Because chances are you're going to see more "Oh he kept posting snark snark" posts from the person with whom I am annoyed (I'm not going to tag him because that gets people in trouble here) and I will respond in the kind of pissy way that shows people the real pettiness at the core of my personality.

@Meg OK, good point. How about this, I will refrain from explicitly wishing a disease on the guy (I should talk, I'm not too far from an alcohol-induced illness myself) and will apologize to him for doing so, because if he did get a disease and then posted about it here, I'd feel bad.

But insofar as he keeps being a sarcastic turd towards me, I will give it to him right back, because I'm in that kind of mood.

How's that for transactional forum ethics? I swear I don't want to keep posting here, but I'm the kind of person who obsesses over small slights and can't give it a rest until I've made a response. In other words I guess I fit in perfectly here.

@Meg Neither is being a sarcastic piece of shit. I guess dude gets a pass on that because his schtick is funny.

@WTFE Ah, so you are deliberately not paying attention.

If you are really taking a shot every time I post, then I'd love to keep it going in the hopes of giving you intractable liver disease.

However, chances are you're LARPing for attention, so my only recourse is to imagine the gradual and painful progression of said disease.

@Auspice It's funny when people ignore your posts and don't realize when you've stopped arguing pages before they have. Then they tag you and insult you for still arguing. Wait, now I'm arguing. Fuck. Bye!

@surreality Came back to give you a non trolling upvote for your kind response. Nothing more to add because the board is so toxic it doesn't make sense to have a heartfelt conversation here. You know how to find me if you wish to do so and no worries at all if you don't or if you don't yet.

@WTFE I'm guessing you read my posts all the way up to, but not including, my last exchange with @surreality. Read those and you will see why I am actually and honestly done here. I have nothing else to discuss here. I'm not MU*ing anymore.

As a side note: @surreality, you should log off for the rest of the night and do something awesome and relaxing that you enjoy. The Internet turns the best of us into Id-ruled shadows of ourselves. I should know, I'm case study number one in "From nice guy to raging asshole and back."