@eye8urcake one of my nieces had similar issues when she was born. It was very taxing on my sister who had some difficulties feeding her and, as a consequence of her physical issues, the child developed infantile anorexia.
The good news however is that Elle has blossomed into a lovely, healthy young woman. Although it's kind of fucked that this is what it apparently takes to have the right look, she's worked as a child model (with very close supervision) so you know, she has remained underweight but apart from that she's vibrant and physically active. I recently made the cross-continental trip to attend her Bat Mitzvah and I honestly couldn't be prouder. She's smart, brave, sassy and morally-driven. So those issues do not define her though understandably, her mother will always worry.
@surreality said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Never give up your right to argue (barring spaces that disallow it for whatever reason, provided said reason is reasonable, obviously).
No, really.
Sometimes -- and I think I can say with some confidence that it has happened here a whole hell of a lot, really -- it leads to pointlessly gripey angst.
But even then, it means people are thinking. Brains are working, even if they're wandering far afield of sense now and then. (We're all susceptible; it's part of being human.)
Brains working is good.
It's OK to disagree with people. Most of us were socialized to be pleasers to some extent or another, in some way or another, but those ways tell us 'don't speak up and don't argue or disagree'. Well, fuck that.
If you wanna avoid it because it's causing undue stress in your life, or is otherwise doing you harm? Go for it; always take care of you, y'know?
Just don't do it because someone else tells you 'you should just fall in line', that it's pointless, or similar. Those people are the ones the word 'defenestration' is best used in regard to.
I'm not giving up my right to disagree with people; I'm just going to try and stop getting into heated political debates etc., though we'll see how long I can keep that up tbh. (I wasn't kidding when I said I was already finding it to be a struggle.)
I'm opinionated and honestly it's bad for my mental health. I need to stop caring what strangers on the internet think or feeling like it's my job to tell them why they're wrong because it's ineffective and accomplishes nothing other than souring the community and bringing out my worst side. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to feel angry/emotional all the time. I feel enough climate/political grief as it is without letting the toxicity of faceless strangers poison me.
EDIT: gl with your ER appointment, also.
@Rinel: I do know adults who are genuinely happy. I am not one of them. At risk of sounding like I'm peddling new age bullshit though, the closest indications I've found for what makes them happy is a combination of community, family, physical activity and ikigai.
Some of this can be chased; some of it is down to luck. I can't choose my family so on that front I'm a bit fucked, but I know the closest I've felt to peace has been doing fulfilling work in a team of like-minded people in a remote enough location that we had to spend a good amount of time together bonding etc. Good luck — to both of us.