Idk where else to put this

I JUST CAME OUT ON FACEBOOK. TO EVERYONE. EVERYONE KNOWS NOW. OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE

got my name changed

sent off an email changing my name with the state bar association

gonna start changing it with everything tomorrow

happy

@RDC said in Sexuality: IC and OOC:

if later I decide to delete this post and pretend this never happened because it's really fucking scary

One of the things I think a lot of us who decide to kick our assigned gender to the curb in some form or fashion (either by defecting to the other side like I did or deciding the whole thing is a spook like you did) deal with really frequently is the fear that somehow we will change our minds on some aspect of this and therefore we will be terrible and awful and invalid and dumb.

But, you know, when you live in a world that pretty much demands everyone fall relatively neatly into one of two categories, it can be really hard to even conceive of saying "no thank you" to those expectations. So if you end up moving from "okay, I'm agender and asexual" to "okay, I'm agender but not asexual," or "okay, I'm asexual but trans," or "okay, I'm actually cis and hetero," all of those things are totally okay to do.

And of course if you don't move at all that is obviously okay! But do not be upset at yourself for being unsure.

ETA: Also, if you want a trans woman to listen to you scream incoherently at the world, feel free to hit me up on here. You can scream coherently too. Or just talk. Whatever you like.

@Wizz said in TS - Danger zone:

Being ashamed or overly worried about what it means or says about you is what is very weird to me

There's something I don't like about this, but I can't really put my finger on it. I feel like it's okay to view sex as a private thing, and that it's therefore okay to be nervous or even embarrassed or ashamed to be engaging in TS with someone.

I'm not saying that it's wrong not to be ashamed. I just don't like the implication that people who are are weird. Humans have a lot of hangups. Frequently about sex!

@tek said in The Work Thread:

I feel useless and worthless.

Your worth is not defined by your job.

Your worth is not defined by your job.

Your worth is not defined by your job.

You are a funny, kind, and creative person who has improved my life simply because I have communicated with you over an extended make-believe session. As my therapist once told me: who the hell do you think you are to pass that sort of judgment on yourself?

@Pandora said in Diversity Representation in MU*ing:

@Rinel said in Diversity Representation in MU*ing:

My point is that "male socialized" people playing lesbians isn't necessarily a cause of poor lesbian representation, since lesbians with that alleged quality exist. It's like saying "a lot of redheads play lesbians; lesbian representation isn't great."

I'm not going to lie and start saying that men playing lesbians hasn't been terrible for lesbian representation because it's now not PC to say something that's been true forever and will continue to be true forever. If it doesn't apply to you/someone you know/someone you've heard of, that's great and I'm not debating it.

1. not a man
2. the phrase "male socialization" is frequently used by TERFs to claim that trans women aren't women because we presented as male growing up
3. trans women are women
4. some trans women are lesbians
5. trans lesbians playing lesbians is not bad for lesbian representation

This isn't about men; it's about you using a phrase in a particular way and continuing to be really shifty about it. The fact that you seem to think "male socialization" makes someone a man is pretty worrying, as is your random protestation about eternal truths no longer being "PC."

ETA: ty @Roz that was it precisely

@Ghost said in RL things I love:

I dont understand a word that you just wrote, but I salute your victory.

A prosecutor said "I can do X." I said "no, you can't." A judge listened to us and said "you can't do X." The prosecutor said "I WANT TO SEE YOUR SUPERVISOR" and wrote a big long letter to the appellate court saying "I can do X." I wrote a big long response to his letter saying "no, you can't do X." The appellate court listened to us and said "you can't do X." The prosecutor said "I WANT TO SEE YOUR SUPERVISOR" and asked the Louisiana Supreme Court to grant him a hearing so that he could argue that he can do X. I wrote a response to the Louisiana Supreme Court saying "this jabroni can't do X--you know it, I know it, he knows it--and he doesn't deserve a hearing on the matter." The Louisiana Supreme Court didn't grant him a hearing.

tl;dr I won and there's literally nothing he can do about it.

In the other case not much has happened yet. I just said "hey you should do X for my client" and the state said "no and you shouldn't even give them a hearing" and I said "yes huh you should" and the court said "we're giving them a hearing."

LAW

@secretfire said in A (Mildly Complete) List of Current Games:

This is almost depressing. This is it for mushes? ...thats sad. Its like watching the last few dinosaurs meander around the rats scurrying at their feet. Remember when the number of active, real mu* seemed almost endless?

@wizz

5 dollar tip minimum for me on DD, and 10 at the least if it's a long drive. I have plus so the fees get slashed (agoraphobia is expensive) but, like... these folks are doing shit for me I can't do. I can afford to tip them.

@ganymede

I have found that there are plenty of DK poster children in the profession. Imposter syndrome only affects people willing to consider that they might be wrong.

@sahin your mental health is worth way more than any specific college route you have planned out. You're doing a responsible and adult thing.

Last night a friend had a psychotic episode out of nowhere. Tonight another friend died of cancer.

I'm so fucking tired.

@ganymede

Ha. Yeah, fair, but I'd say that's part of what made SPOP so phenomenal. Even AtLA didn't have it, really.

Wouldn't be surprised if it pops up more often in children's shows.

@groth said in Good TV:

It's a bit of a shame and almost weird how as copied as all the other aspects of Tolkiens work are, almost all of them abandon the communal heroism in favor of more straight chosen one narratives.

That aspect of Tolkien's work (along with Frodo failing at the end and Sam--who also would have failed had he been in Frodo's position--rescuing him) requires a very deeply rooted sense of humility that runs counter to modern popular sensibilities. It's rare to find it outside of very serious humanist, philosophical or religious adherents.

ETA: tl;dr America's "temporarily embarrassed millionaire" style of capitalism is diametrically opposed to the communal responsibility/heroism in question.

I have had a largely positive experience with CBT for my anxiety, although it has been significantly damaged by a therapist lying to me about something I considered very important. My biggest issue with it is that it seems to be rarely practiced with empathy for the patient; most of the time, what I need more than worksheets is understanding and encouragement when it comes to my difficulty with exposure therapy.

But, all that said, there's unfortunately no therapy that everyone benefits from.

@rinel

I just realized that post is over a year old but whatever

Still valid

Don't talk to cops
Don't trust cops
If you're getting arrested don't physically resist
Try and get recordings of everything
Don't talk to cops

@ganymede said in Favorite Youtubers?:

In Ohio, you may resist an unlawful arrest and cannot be found guilty for obstructing an officer in pursuit of an unlawful arrest.

I knkw what you're saying but I assure you that you absolutely can and likely will be found guilty for doing exactly that.

Like yeah I get it the law says things but y'all cops have guns and a godlike status among half of the public. Your safest (physically and legally) bet is to record as much of the interaction as possible via a service that uploads the video as it occurs.

@tinuviel
Meteors for everything in that case