Write a staff ethics policy and make sure your staff understands it. Also, make sure they understand what is expected of them AND what will not be tolerated from them. It is good to staff with people you like, but sometimes staffing with a friend hurts a friendship.

Don't do it all yourself. While important, you should be able to leave the game for a few days and trust it will be okay. You WILL need to step away from your own game from time to time. Like children, it's okay if you want to murderize your players. It's okay to take a 'parent' time out. It's okay.

You aren't going to get along with everyone. It's okay to ask a person to leave the game if they are not meshing with theme/players.

Please attempt to go for visibility in decisions, rulings, etc. If you start the cloak and dagger method of 'they don't need to know' it will be hard to come back from.

I know there was a health thread, but I don't feel like looking for it. So let's say you? Let's start a new one. I'll even go first.

waves a paw
Hello I'm Catsmeow. I hate cardio. So I decided to get my unhealthy butt in gear. How you ask? (I know you didn't ask) By deciding to walk/run 2017 miles this year. So that's approximately 5.5 miles a day with about a week of no miles. Yay.

Today, I went to the gym after (muttermuttermutter) not going. I got on the boring treadmill and walked. I was like I will walk 5.5 miles. I did not account for being out of shape or having an upper respiratory infection that makes breathing hard.

So... I walked 2 miles and called it. I actually consider this a success. So is anyone else trying to get healthier? Trying to eliminate debt? Trying to live on the cheap? Those are all my 2017 things. So if so, let's support each other.

If not, I got to talk about myself and you read it so. Win/Win?

So I'm doing WAY better now. This is good. I'm employed (if even part-time), I'm on track with my eating, I'm walking like 3+ miles a day and today --- I finally felt like me again. I woke up and did some things and really I felt like the happy person that I normally am. It occurs that this has been going on for a week or two. So it's like I'm almost back to normalcy.

The only bad thing is that I have a backwards look on my instability. My anxiety/depression makes it so I don't always see it and my MS brain issues added to it means I don't 'understand' when it's happening. We don't always see the problem when we are in the middle of it. You know?

I see people taking mental health breaks from the hobby and today, I realize I should have done that in like October - April. My life fell apart and I fell apart with it. I should not have been supplementing my havoc of a RL with an virtual one. It's what I was doing. I couldn't see it at the time, but in hindsight, totes what I was doing.

I have NEVER been asked to leave a game before. I'm usually super up to get involved and tend to try to get others involved as much as possible, etc. I was asked to leave a game. Which was horrible for them (I mean obviously if I was asked to leave) and for a bit, really horrible for me. Like really really bad. However, it also made me take a break from MUing on a regular basis to fix me. I mean sometimes you need a stranger to give a wake up call. I was just seething in questions and bitter. It was less at a game (and the people on it) and more with where my RL was.

Depression and anxiety are a hell of a bitch to deal with. It's hard on the person suffering and we've touched on that, but it's also hard to the people around them while they are in their 'off' period. There is moments of reassurance needed, blowing things up that normally they wouldn't, etc. That list goes on and people have to deal with it if they are around you. We don't always talk about that. We try to say they should be understanding, but really we don't understand ourselves - so how can they? Also, if a person has only known you in your 'blue' period -- you might look like you belong on the batshit crazy board and they are probably wondering why others are defending you.

Anyways - This is just my rambling musing because that's sort of what this board is about. Mental health and all that. So I want to check in and say I'm good and back to normal (haha). The other thing s that I owe an apology (not on the apology thread - or the sorry not sorry board) to @apos and @Kanye-Qwest. I was stupid unstable on their game as I joined it at rock bottom IRL. So while my feels were hurt for the 'maybe this isn't the best game for you', it was what I needed to be like daaaayum son, I'm a little further gone than I thought. So anyways -- apologies to you two and any that I was a bit off towards there.

Okay, now work calls. Thank you for letting me ramble.

To be fair, I spent a GREAT number of years in my life saying things like:
"That's okay."
"Sure, I guess."
"If it makes you happy, we can."

Now I'm closer to 40 and life is too short to live it for someone else. (Oh look I'm posting probably in the wrong thread, drinky drinky). I use to think that love/care meant self-sacrifice. I would put my wants and needs and feelings on the back burner. I still struggle with this because I'm probably a people pleaser. Then there comes a point where you look around and realize you are not be authentic. If you are not being authentic than you need to question if your friendships are. So I started saying no when it really wasn't okay. I stopped being resentful to people that didn't know they were overstepping because I never told them. You have to be honest to yourself and with yourself and then with others. Some people will leave and it will suck. Other people will stay and it will rock. Your life will be happier and such.

Okay, done hi-jacking the thread ... drink up... I hope @WTFE is still alive.

Sweetness,

This is getting to be like the pro-life/pro-choice debate up in here. I feel like everyone is making assumptions about the other side and not listening. They are trying to veil their snark or think it won't be seen, then jump at someone else for doing it on the other 'side'.

We are adults, we should be able to see the other person's opinion and be respectful of it. There is a reason there are games out there and not game out there. They don't all appeal to everyone. I'm not big on super space games because my brain is sometimes too literal to understand all the science that is RPed, etc. It doesn't mean I HATE space games and space gamers. It doesn't mean I'm anti-genre. It means it doesn't appeal to me and here's why. It's not a you shouldn't do this because I don't like it. We are starting to get to the mud-slinging of the discussion, let's tone back. Sarcasm to one is a deep insult to another.

Now, I am not anti-death and need to have complete control over my character. I would write a book that way. I like how another person influences the story that is going and the choices made. I like to use dice like a which-way story and pick if I go left or right sometimes. I like to go into things with death if I know it's coming. I may have even understood the game death concept. To me it came across as the dreaded telenuke and boom you are dead. Rocks Fall.

I have accepted 'stupid' death when it happened too. I played Metro back in the day and was playing a straight vanilla mortal. It took me FOREVER to get that character approved. A question here, no time there, staff too busy, etc. My second day on the grid there is a huge blizzard and staff was like if you aren't @desc'ed right things may happen. I made sure my char was in layers. They were stuck in a building with people I didn't know. It was all fine. Then those people decided it would be cool to show how much power they had and stripped the char and put her outside. My char died the first scene after weeks of waiting to get in. That was stupid. Incredibly stupid. I dealt.

I think people are more saying they want to make a story. While the story continues for others if the char dies, it doesn't for them. We have bitched and complained about how one feels about being the background to another person's story. I think is comes off as that. Now, there are people that love that and will do it. So I really think the take away is this:

TL;DR

Let's talk like respectful adults, not politicians trying to secure votes.
If you want to make randomized death, be up front.
If you make it, normally people will come play.
Make CG easy.

I got called to go into work early 'if I wanted' -- I did not want, I did not do. I'm part-time and normally pick up hours to help out or come in or whatever. I never complain about my schedule being in constant flux. I just am thankful to have one.

So I come in and my manger greets me and says I can clock in a bit early if I want. So I do and she's walking with me to clock in and says, "Oh.. and in two weeks by the way.. we've decided to give you the full time position. So we'll get together to figure out your set schedule."

Woohoo.. I beat out a lot of part-time peeps (it's retail, they like to have peeps at part-time) and got the full-time position. They didn't interview me or make me jump through hoops. I just had to put down I was willing to work it. So in two weeks a SET work schedule, full time (aka benefits), and I start school.

So while this move came with some HORRIBLE low points before it; it's pretty awesome since I got here. Thus, I'm just having a good RL day today and want to share.

Passive aggressive text messages. -- Just stop it.

If I'm at work, you can assume I am working. This means in with a client and without my cellphone. It is not okay to text me six times. It is not okay for the last text to read how you must not matter as I'm not responding.

This is Max. His breed is .... who knows. Seriously, anyone? Anyone know? He'll be 2 in April. I found him when he was abandoned by his 'family'. He was covered in oil and dirt and looked dark brown (so did my lap). I've had him for a little over a year.

I bumped up my 30 minutes of cardio by a whole speed step on the treadmill tonight. Also started easy strength training.

I really just wanted to cheer for me. Still a loooooong way to go, but faster than being on the couch.

Signed up to take some basic college classes starting in a few weeks. Nothing OMG awesome, but still something I've been meaning to do and put off for YEARS.

@Auspice

Trokendi

Do you find yourself moody? I think that's the stuff that made my sister cry at EVERYTHING.

Kissing is ... good.

However, I love those 'getting to know someone' all nighters. The ones where you stay up all night and you just talk and never run out of things to say. You just want to share and they want to learn and vice versa. I miss those in a new relationship (friendships count too).

It sounds like it's insults -- if I wanted that I would re-activate my online dating sites.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait... back up...

sarahah.com ?!

I.. what?

So I click to see what this website is and it's like register so your friends can be honest. I .. what? Part of me just wants to know if my 'friends' have this. I don't want to register, so tell me more about this please while I pop some popcorn.

It is 12:12 here -- why the fuck is the 4 year old currently in my household still awake and singing loudly to herself?!

@Thenomain - Well obviously we have to text each other now

I just want to say that sometimes people aren't bragging when it sounds like it. Sometimes they are socially awkward or they are trying to create a human connection (or both). Sometimes they just don't know how to do it or realize how it comes across.

Someone: I like cats
Me: I once trained dogs in Brazil.

They are like OMG really? What does that have to with cats, but in my head - I was like cats --> animals --> dogs --> I once trained them --> Maybe they will like this and think it's neat and I can make a friend.

Bad example, but the idea behind it hopefully comes across.

A lot is text and we come with our own prejudices about how things 'come across' that the other person in no way intended. We just make assumptions based on our moods and other things when the other person is legit just trying to form a connection. Connections are hard. Finding your tribe is harder.

I got called to go into work early 'if I wanted' -- I did not want, I did not do. I'm part-time and normally pick up hours to help out or come in or whatever. I never complain about my schedule being in constant flux. I just am thankful to have one.

So I come in and my manger greets me and says I can clock in a bit early if I want. So I do and she's walking with me to clock in and says, "Oh.. and in two weeks by the way.. we've decided to give you the full time position. So we'll get together to figure out your set schedule."

Woohoo.. I beat out a lot of part-time peeps (it's retail, they like to have peeps at part-time) and got the full-time position. They didn't interview me or make me jump through hoops. I just had to put down I was willing to work it. So in two weeks a SET work schedule, full time (aka benefits), and I start school.

So while this move came with some HORRIBLE low points before it; it's pretty awesome since I got here. Thus, I'm just having a good RL day today and want to share.

Signed up to take some basic college classes starting in a few weeks. Nothing OMG awesome, but still something I've been meaning to do and put off for YEARS.

@Tinuviel - Oh and NOW he doesn't even want to give ME the money?

That's it, @Meg - Let us write him off and run off together or something.