@Luna said:
@Shebakoby Hahaha, part time security guard. But he might go back to school. For business. So he can...start a business. Wtf lol
LOL maybe he thinks that since the lack of jerb is what made you kick him to the curb, maybe having jerb will cause you to consider taking him back. (Also, sounds like he's epic fail trying to get with others, so he's retreading old ground for another try).
I'm spooning a Barrett .50 cal.! I could kill a building.
@Shebakoby Ok that's what I thought and then I was like...surely not. I was like oh hey, no. It's just so weird.
Fun? What is this fun thou speakest of?
I feel bad when people ask if I have a job yet, but I am at least working with DARS and stuff. They're just super slow.
And man, that dude sounds... something.
@Luna said:
Ok that's what I thought and then I was like...surely not. I was like oh hey, no. It's just so weird.
It may be that, like an alcoholic in the twelve-step process, he wants to confront himself by apologizing to you. I doubt this to be the case, but he may be looking to reconcile, so as to give himself some sort of peace.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
@Ganymede Maybe. I know he's in treatment for PTSD and is looking to get VA disability so that makes sense. I try to be civil and polite but he makes me excruciatingly uncomfortable. There was a lot of gaslighting and other awful things. I have no interest in this whatsoever. I've lost a lot of weight and his compliments and wanting to hug me just skeeve me out. Wanting to go to dinner alone isn't something I want to do and I don't think I could. I think I would have the mother of all anxiety attacks.
Fun? What is this fun thou speakest of?
Mother fucking Windows Update restarting my computer in the middle of the night and thus killing my alarm clock, so I overslept for almost two hours. FML.
@Luna said:
Maybe. I know he's in treatment for PTSD and is looking to get VA disability so that makes sense. I try to be civil and polite but he makes me excruciatingly uncomfortable. There was a lot of gaslighting and other awful things. I have no interest in this whatsoever. I've lost a lot of weight and his compliments and wanting to hug me just skeeve me out. Wanting to go to dinner alone isn't something I want to do and I don't think I could. I think I would have the mother of all anxiety attacks.
Then don't.
You could ask him why he's asking. If he doesn't say anything short of "because I want to apologize and reconcile for the benefit of my soul and our child," then tell him you do not want to hang out with him, or get to know him again. If he says the above, then tell him you are okay with that, and that you'd like to forgive him, but you can't, won't, and then tell him what I've said above about not wanting to hang out.
I certainly hope you aren't leading him into believing that things will be all right again, if they won't.
@Ganymede I said thanks but no. I didn't bother to ask why because he lies when the truth will do. I sincerely don't think I'm leading him on. Aside from the fact that he initiated the separation and divorce, I've told him implicitly that I'm happier without him. And also to quit touching me.
@Luna My ex is a lot like yours, only he was open about wanting to get back together and my response (I didn't laugh outright, props to me!) was "you haven't changed. What would be the point? No thanks, not interested." Being blunt about it is the only way to go in these situations. If you leave even a small sliver of the door open? These advances will never stop.
@Luna Then I wouldn't. An apology is for the victim, not for the person who did the wronging.
@Luna said:
@Ganymede Maybe. I know he's in treatment for PTSD and is looking to get VA disability so that makes sense. I try to be civil and polite but he makes me excruciatingly uncomfortable. There was a lot of gaslighting and other awful things. I have no interest in this whatsoever. I've lost a lot of weight and his compliments and wanting to hug me just skeeve me out. Wanting to go to dinner alone isn't something I want to do and I don't think I could. I think I would have the mother of all anxiety attacks.
oh shit, gaslighting. BAD. Though, with the PTSD happening, one has to wonder if his own brain is gaslighting him. Either way, that's something you do not need.
Does he get visitation with child?
@VulgarKitten has seen the crap he texts me. That alone makes me feel a bit less crazy.
In general, just thanks for listening yall. Holy hell he drives me batty. Not being able to understand his motivations bothers me. And like I said, he'll lie when the truth will do so asking is no help.
He does get visitation. She hates it but she's 6 and I raised her on my own. He didn't see her until she was 1, didn't get to take her away until she was 2 and didn't get overnights until she was 3. She has her own iPad with cell service so she can always call me and I always know where she is. And her being 6, she's more self sufficient. It's less worrisome now than it used to be.
And I didn't keep her from him. He was in Iraq until she was 1, then he had unlimited access to her but didn't like seeing me at all because I'm so awful and the judge put him on a step up plan which he consistently failed.
I've had mild issues with depression for a few years now, but it's sort of come to a head lately. One of those things where you only realize after the fact, how much of a lunatic you've been. Affecting my job I still have to have until I can find a new one, affecting my personal life and just...everything. So frustrating.
So frustrating.
Just want to feel like myself again =|
Bright side, doctors appointments have finally been made, via my awesome husband. Meanwhile, I'll be hangin' out, wallowing in my own self pity, apparently.
/ramblerant
@thebird I feel for ya. I start meds on Friday for my anxiety. First time I've ever taken them and I'm terrified.
@thebird Take some vitamin D. It's not going to make you happy, and it won't cure clinical depression despite what some Facebook forwards say, but it does help a bit. Even if it doesn't, it can't hurt. Other than that, hugs! And I know how you feel.
@VulgarKitten You'll be ok too. Just be patient. And let me know how it's going. You're doing really great with school and all!
@VulgarKitten said:
@thebird I feel for ya. I start meds on Friday for my anxiety. First time I've ever taken them and I'm terrified.
Just chill out.
/ducks and covers. SORRY SORRY SORRY.
No, seriously, it'll be okay. Having taken meds before, my two pieces of advice are keep up with the meds's schedule and don't quit cold turkey, especially without consulting your doctor; and if you suspect your meds are having adverse side-effects, tell your doctor--don't just power through it, because it could just be that that medicine isn't one your body can readily handle.
Basically, don't self-regulate or ignore symptoms, ask your doctor what side effects it might have, etc.
I'm sure you already know all this, but it never hurts to reiterate. It's your health and having a less anxious @VulgarKitten is in everyone's best interest.
Absolutely try and stitches to taking the medication as prescribed. It is important, and you may need time for them to take effect. Most medication for mental illness is not a quick fix or temporary treatment but a long term management.
Dear people in the general world,
I really do care how bad your day is. I am willing to absorb a lot of bullshit, but the problem here is that I do care. So when you're standing there, voice quivering in anger, telling me how much emotional pain you're in because of an inability to log in to your computer, I'm going to see that as seriously as someone there, voice quivering in anger, telling me how much you love your boyfriend no matter how much physical pain they put you in.
The problem here is obviously me, but I'm not too far off a lot of people, whose anger and emotional pain are going to pinball to someone else. It resonates, it echos, and it spreads, affecting how their day goes, and I believe that if I stop this at me then I've done something positive for the world at large. But for fuck's sake people, priorities.
That is all.
My bank just scared the craps out of me. The suspicious charge of 9.99 for Xbox Live that happens monthly on this date? Not likely a worry.
I don't know why, among daily reports of people dying in assorted horrible ways, I'd still be this mad about the same happening to animals (especially how many of them die every day pretty badly as well).
https://ca.news.yahoo.com/woman-finds-her-pet-dog-135747023.html
But I am. Grrr.
@Ganymede I said thanks but no. I didn't bother to ask why because he lies when the truth will do. I sincerely don't think I'm leading him on. Aside from the fact that he initiated the separation and divorce, I've told him implicitly that I'm happier without him. And also to quit touching me.
