@JinShei said in A bit of trouble on Firefly:
@Scissors said in A bit of trouble on Firefly:
It's morbidly fascinating to read about this sort of behavior. The fact that when this guy's loudly blaming people for not having "adult conversations" with him, there is a complete and utter lack of self-awareness of the irony. I mean, even a dog will recognize its own reflection after looking into a mirror enough times.
Can people really be this blind to their own faults? Sometimes I think it is by choice.
I don't think this person lacks self-awareness. I don't think he's blind to his own faults.
I think he knows exactly what he's doing and is being purposefully manipulative by accusing others of faults he knows they might care about, but that he personally doesn't. He's playing gotcha. Can't accuse people of being immature if you can't conduct yourself maturely, now can you? Don't lose face. Stay dignified. Be tolerant. Even as I behave in a manner that is undignified, intolerant and inconsiderate towards you. Gotta prove you're better than me! Otherwise we're the same, you and I; don't stoop to my level.
It's just another variation of the ol' 'so much for the tolerant left'.
I definitely got this. He gotcha'd so gleefully that as soon as I banned him he ran to discord channels with the log claiming he caught an Admin treating him badly because I called him on his shit. I was grateful for both channels owner's disinterest or rejection of his bullshit.
For me, the tipoff in my brief communication with him was this bolded part:
<PM> (to Aksel) Rosa (Romeo) says, "Hey. I wasn't sure how to approach this the other day but truthfully I wasn't comfortable with the last scene I had with you and don't think we would mesh. Your character seems very macho/aggressive and sexually forward. I'm not really into that and would prefer to avoid in future."
<PM> (to Rosa) Aksel blinks slowly, "Um, Okay. I will go ahead and leave you alone and avoid any scenes that you have signed up for in that case. My apologies for Aksel trying to be playful back with Pippin and the like after the joke that had been made. Or will find another game so you are comfortable.
My ex used to threaten suicide any time I tried to leave the relationship, any time I tried to refuse him sexually. He would make it sound like this was something I wanted, that I had asked for, when in actuality all I had said was no to a specific thing. It was done to guilt me, make me feel bad about wanting to police my own comfort levels. And suddenly in a communication where I had said something like, 'this hurt me' or 'I didn't like that', I was the bad guy, for making him feel bad about doing something bad.
Further then twisted as:
<RP Requests> Aksel would come to rp but has been informed that his character is essentially just a muscle bound asshole who makes people feel uncomfortable and that my rp style is just shit. So...
<RP Requests> Sam says, "From what he told me, he got a page--didn't say from who--denigrating his character, his RP style, and generally being very unpleasant."
Not what I said, and I wasn't even in the scene he was being invited to.
I also don't buy the innocent "blinks slowly" reaction he gave when I said his behaviour had made me uncomfortable. Looking at this thread, I know I'm not the first person to have ever said something like this to him. It's simply impossible to believe that after however many incidents of him behaving this way and having it pointed out to him, he remains oblivious.
He essentially did a mini-version of what he threatened to do to Firefly; instead of calling me out on MSB, he called me out in the public chat. And his PM communications with various game owners make explicit that this behaviour pattern of his is a calculated tactic he knows to be effective enough to use as a threat, smugly, not simply as an emotional outburst of someone genuinely hurt.
QED: I don't believe his bullshit.
I do feel sympathy for him though. It must be hella sad to go through life not being able to have any kind of meaningful relationship.