Chargen: Appearance Information

Cobalt

(I think this is the right place, yes? If not feel free to move @Glitch.)

So I'm revamping the chargen on Wildcard, trying to make it a little bit more streamlined, a little bit prettier (according to my standards, at least). The person who made it originally is awesome, but I want things to be in Cobaltasauruseese. >.> Anywise, part of FAE/FATE is setting up your appearance. So I figured I'd stick it into the first room. This is what I have, is it good? Is it bad? Any suggestions? Changes?

 =====================================[ Appearance Information ]=====================================
You set your appearance in two ways with your @desc and your &short-desc. These two items allow
  people to get an idea of what your character looks like on a daily basis.

 @desc has many different styles to it, on Wildcard we prefer a shorter to the point style. Your
  @desc should have a base description giving height, hair color (and length and style), eye color,
  general complexion information, body type, general demeanor notes, and basic clothing. We ask
  that you try to keep it no more than 5-7 lines worth of text.
        @desc me=Maribella is average height (5'6") for a woman with long blonde hair that usually
  hangs in loose curls over her shoulders. Her eyes are a sparkling blue full of life and joy. She
  usually smiles broadly and easily to anyone she meets. She's slender but not quite skinny.
  Normally she dresses in expensive fashionable clothing that include pants, a fancy blouse, and
  high heels.

 &short-desc is a very short description of your character. Put only the things you think are
  important into it.
        &short-desc me=5'6", blonde, cheerful, expensive clothing.
 ====================================================================================================

HelloRaptor

What in god's name is all the semi-random ansi? O.O

BetterJudgment

@HelloRaptor said:

What in god's name is all the semi-random ansi? O.O

That was my reaction. Are those supposed to be highlighted keywords? If you read the red ones, you get: set in with desc and desc to get of like on.... I don't think this can be doing what you want it to do.

surreality

I think the color stuff is the MUXify thing -- all the code snippets show up with it generally. I don't think you'd be seeing that on the actual MUX at all.

Cobalt

Omg, @HelloRaptor & @BetterJudgment. C'mon. >.< It's because of using the code tag. Here, I'll change it to quotes instead. Jeez.

ETA: Nope you're stuck with the code tags for it. No they aren't highlighted keywords, no they aren't like that on the mush. Have you guys seriously not looked at any other code parts of the forum and noticed that works like 'and' and 'for' and etc get highlighted?

HelloRaptor

@Cobaltasaurus

I have, I just got thrown off by

a little bit prettier (according to my standards at least)

Given what I've seen on games in terms of what people do with ansi to their personal displays, or worse the colors used for borders and stuff (I basically can't see any of the purple stuff on SHH because of my background color, which is itself probably a strange choice of shades to many people), a horrified part of me could totally believe someone might have some whacked out reason for changing the color of all the and, to, for, etc.

Then it segued into the green and I was like O____O

BetterJudgment

I, too, was thrown off by "a little bit prettier." Since the color's not the issue, then, I think that narrative instructions like these are harder to follow than ones that simply list what you need to do:

Your description (@desc) should be no more than 5 to 7 lines long and include the basic facts of your character's appearance and clothing:

height in feet and inches
hair color, length, and style
eye color
complexion
body type or build
typical demeanor*
basic clothing

Here is an example:

@desc me=Maribella is average height (5'6") for a woman with long blonde hair....

--and so on. I noted "typical demeanor" above because every game I have played expressly forbids players from including facial expressions or other character actions in a description, so that struck me as odd.

If you want to to stick with these narrative instructions, it would be best to have someone proofread them for grammar. As far as the layout, the hanging indentations are unusual but look good.

Cobalt

@BetterJudgment My worry about doing that means that it will be really, really scrolly. People tend to gloss over and not read things that are more than on screen long. Granted, your suggestion is a lot less words so it might get ready anywise despite the fact that it is longer screen-length wise.

Coin

@Cobaltasaurus

Two columns.