Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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Something about rock climbing, I’d wager.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Something about rock climbing, I’d wager.
That's what I would assume, but I don't know what that has to do with being married and poly.
https://whatiswrongwith.me/Mia
There were never any good old days. They are today. They are tomorrow. It's a stupid thing we say, cursing tomorrow with sorrow. -- Gogol Bordello -
Probably nothing, like how Blue Lives Matter has nothing to do with actually supporting law enforcement.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Probably nothing, like how Blue Lives Matter has nothing to do with actually supporting law enforcement.
Ohh, god. Blue Lives Matter is so, so weird where we live.
See, I live in a mostly black, formerly mostly Jewish neighborhood.
I also live in a neighborhood where, because of regulations requiring city employees to live within the city limits, we have a large number of emergency responders and their families living here.
Specifically because of the overlap, we have a significant number of black cops who live in my neighborhood. Like, I can think of at least four just on my block, and those are from the slim percentage of neighbors I bother talking to.
It's.... it's weird. It's weird, and complicated, and and just.... unnnnnngh.
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@aria said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Something about rock climbing, I’d wager.
That's what I would assume, but I don't know what that has to do with being married and poly.
It doesn't, necessarily, it's just another part of the peeve.
80%-90% of all profiles here that aren't weird Trumpsters all revolve around rock climbing/snowboarding/outdoor stuff or being a gym rat and I'm just not into it. (I enjoy hiking and camping occasionally? But it's sort of their entire lifestyle and I wouldn't be interested or able to keep up.)
It just so happens that a ton of them are also poly and like, more power to them but I'm not into that either.
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@aria said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
belaytionship
Curse you for making me Google!
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=belaytionship
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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Sums it up nicely. It's mostly a cultural thing in the states around the Rockies from what I gather. You aggressively pursue outdoor hobbies every waking hour that you're not at work and...pretty much nothing else. Day drink, I guess.
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@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Sums it up nicely. It's mostly a cultural thing in the states around the Rockies from what I gather. You aggressively pursue outdoor hobbies every waking hour that you're not at work and...pretty much nothing else. Day drink, I guess.
That word alone makes me hate these people on your behalf. Carry on peeving, sir. Carry on.
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@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
80%-90% of all profiles here that aren't weird Trumpsters all revolve around rock climbing/snowboarding/outdoor stuff or being a gym rat and I'm just not into it. (I enjoy hiking and camping occasionally? But it's sort of their entire lifestyle and I wouldn't be interested or able to keep up.)
If you're looking for someone, maybe you should just try the traditional method? It's not easy if you aren't outgoing or enjoy going to bars, but I prejudicially (I know, it's not right) believe that a lot of people who crow about their hobbies and beliefs in online dating profiles are unsufferable.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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Now I want to hit an entire group with the Rocky Mountains they're apparently trying to drag you into a relationship with. I hate people so much... best of luck in that dating pool, man.
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@ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
If you're looking for someone, maybe you should just try the traditional method?
I've thought about it, there's a local bar that honestly isn't awful judging by the few times I went with friends. But I have literally never tried to strike up a conversation or flirt or whatever in that setting, so deliberately going out to do that is kind of intimidating especially with all the pandemic stuff going on. I dunno, haha, maybe I'll work up the courage eventually.
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@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
married
polyamorous
woman
just seeking
a "belaytionship"Tell me if I'm getting too personal and I'll apologize, but I'm curious. Which of these five things are the problem(s)?
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@greenflashlight said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
married
polyamorous
woman
just seeking
a "belaytionship"Tell me if I'm getting too personal and I'll apologize, but I'm curious. Which of these five things are the problem(s)?
I didn't get the sense that any of them were a PROBLEM so much as that's not what he's looking for, particularly in conjunction. When you're looking for a dating option and nearly everything you see is of a particular sort that you're not interested in, it's super frustrating.
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Yeah, I might have accidentally made that a bit confusing by including anti-vaxxers/Blue Lives Matter assholes as the other set, but I didn't intend any conflation there.
Married but ethically nonmonogamous peeps and really outdoorsy types, live your best life and I wish you the best, it just isn't my thing and it's disappointing that I can't seem to find anyone more compatible, especially when I have to shell out a bit of cash for some of these services.
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@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
really outdoorsy types
In my dating experience, those people claiming to want 'adventure' think that going to a chain retail store (like a Wallmart or whatever) at an unreasonable hour to buy snacks is an adventure because they started drinking low carb wine at 2pm.
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@wizz The problem for people after a certain age is that it gets hard to meet new friends in the first place. Once we're out of school, most everyone has started a family or has kids... it's very difficult any more to get that "old friend" status out of anyone. Much more so if you have had to relocate at some point since you also lost your existing buddies in the process.
So what we are left with are... well, whatever comes our way. Online friendships, activity-based matches, etc. It might be imperfect but it beats... you know, nothing.
I don't know how it works with women but with men it's also that we don't talk about our personal lives nearly as much; girls seem sometimes weirded out by the fact guys can hang out for hours a week but know next to nothing about each other. It's comfortable, but it does leave us without outlets if we do need to let something important off our chests.
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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The difficulty of meeting anyone new through work or family is definitely a factor. I'm just doing temp gigs like Doordash so there isn't a social aspect, and my family is all fairly heavily religious and (mostly) conservative, so having like my sisters set me up with a friend of theirs or whatever was never really a thing.
My own circle of male friends were actually pretty emotionally available and open, relatively? But the pandemic has definitely put a strain there that we still haven't overcome, and we never really tried to set each other up anyway.
So yeah, the traditional ways of finding a date are really limited for me right now and online dating has seemed like the only avenue.
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@wizz said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I've thought about it, there's a local bar that honestly isn't awful judging by the few times I went with friends. But I have literally never tried to strike up a conversation or flirt or whatever in that setting, so deliberately going out to do that is kind of intimidating especially with all the pandemic stuff going on. I dunno, haha, maybe I'll work up the courage eventually.
I would hold off on that strategy. When I was in college and grad school, that was still a thing, but it was dying out. Now hitting on people at a bar is considered creepy.
Ceterum autem censeo Carthaginem esse delendam
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Is it? It's definitely creepy to try and coerce someone who is clearly inebriated into a sexual encounter, but I'd never heard it was uncalled for now just to flirt with someone at a bar.
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@wizz Depending on where you are, the age of the participants, the time of day, alignment of the planets, which sign is highest at midnight, etc...
I would also note that hitting on people and flirting with them are different things.
