Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
if I'm well enough to push that cart around the store, I'm well enough to push it the ten-to-fifteen feet from my car to the return.
You might be. Someone else might not be. Maybe @Too-Old-For-This is able to leave their kid securely fastened in a car seat for the time it takes to return the cart. Maybe someone else isn't, because their kid is a car seat escape artist, or has panic attacks if they feel alone, etc.
Empathy works both ways. If you can have empathy for the person whose job it is to round up all the stray carts, you can have empathy for the people whose circumstances are different that yours, for whom depositing the cart is a big deal for whatever reason.
And all these justifications of why people should be able to just suck it up and do it are exactly why this meme is a pet peeve for me. It may have been meant as a joke, but it results in people feeling judged and guilty.
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I suppose this is what happens when one tries to use memes to describe a complex philosophical idea.
He/Him
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@faraday It leaves others feeling put-upon and unappreciated and overworked. Why is the cart-pushers issue any less valid than yours? It might be a big deal, but its still something that can be accomplished. As you said, empathy works both ways, but you're only asking for empathy on your end. You're expecting the worker to just 'suck it up' so that you don't have to.
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@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
I suppose this is what happens when one tries to use memes to describe a complex philosophical idea.
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Not that I want to appear callous, or worse like a boomer, but in the case of the worker who's job it is to collect the carts... that's their job. That's what they're there for. Jobs can be hard, of course, but that is their job. They're there to accomplish a task that others are unable or unwilling to do so.
It all comes down to the idea that one is assuming malice, or at least apathy, rather than a genuine issue when it comes to the behaviour of strangers. So empathy does go both ways, to a point.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
At least know what you're doing should invoke guilt and judgement. Because it does.
Nope. And this is exactly what I was talking about when I said that this meme brings out the worst in people being judgey without knowing all the facts.
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@cassite The person making the judgement is the asshole. Especially when they're judging the fish for its ability to climb a tree.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
That's like pissing on the wall because the janitor will clean it up for you. It's their job to clean the bathroom.
Or maybe it's more like an elderly person with a hip issue not getting down on hands and knees to clean up a spill in a store and instead calling the store's janitor to clean up the mess they accidentally made. Since, y'know, that is their job.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
Not that I want to appear callous, or worse like a boomer, but in the case of the worker who's job it is to collect the carts... that's their job.
That's like pissing on the wall because the janitor will clean it up for you. It's their job to clean the bathroom.
No, not even remotely. We're talking about a lack of ability, not a lack of decency.
He/Him
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@cassite The person making the judgement is the asshole. Especially when they're judging the fish for its ability to climb a tree.
Oh good lord. No. This is not remotely what I said. Dogpile, away, though.
Two people disagreeing with you isn't a dogpile. It's two people disagreeing with you.
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As someone who spent a good deal of their late teens and early 20's working as a stockman for Walmart, I have first-hand experience with this. While I had an assortment of duties, my primary duty was to make sure the cart corral was full. It was not to make sure the parking lot was clear of carts, I only had to collect carts from the parking lot in two instances; 1) when we were out of carts in the corrals and 2) at the end of the night to prepare the corrals for the morning.
That said, collecting carts from the parking lot was a regular thing. Now this was a while ago, but I can't imagine things have changed much, but most carts were not returned to the cart return areas scattered around the lot. They were left in empty spots or pushed up onto the median areas.
Most of the people who left them do it for one of a few reasons:
- They did not care. They loaded their shit into the car and just walked away from the cart. This was honestly not the most common though.
- They were a frantic mess getting their kids in the backseat, loading their stuff in the back of the car/SUV/ whatever, and then grabbed the cart, looked at the return stall, thought about it, and just decided they couldn't do it. More common than #1 but not as common as #3...
- They were just going with the flow. Once one cart is left somewhere, it becomes the new cart return area. Most people stack carts on top of each other where ever they happen to be, a return stall or some random spot.
So, in my experience, most people who do not return carts to the store or the return stalls aren't doing it because they're assholes, most of them are doing it because there's a more convenient option presented to them in an unofficial manner. Some do it because they're jerks, sure, and some do it because a cart is just one more spinning plate they don't want to deal with, or it's raining/snowing and they don't want to deal with it, or whatever. But most, in my experience, are just going with the flow of what others have done before them.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
if I'm well enough to push that cart around the store, I'm well enough to push it the ten-to-fifteen feet from my car to the return.
"If I can do it, so can you" is ableist shit.
Judging other people based on what you think they should be able to do is ableist shit.
Whether it's not what you intended to say or not, it's what you said.
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@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@tinuviel said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
@cassite said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
if I'm well enough to push that cart around the store, I'm well enough to push it the ten-to-fifteen feet from my car to the return.
"If I can do it, so can you" is ableist shit.
I agree, but that's also not what I said there, or in the rest of the posts you skimmed.
That's absolutely how it came across. And I don't think it's a weird out-of-nowhere interpretation of your words, either.
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@packrat Aldi does this, but they're the only one.
