Fear Me!
Yes, he did this to himself. Then did it to himself again after I rescued him.
Hello. Is the lady of the house in? Could I interest you in a lovely new vacuum cleaner?
I let my kittens out onto the balcony today, under strict supervision.
The fluffy black kitten (the cuff link thief) decided that this was amazing and that she had to try to eat all of the cobwebs. Sadly I did not manage to get a picture of her cobweb covered little face.
The black and white kitten? She was very, very interested in the 'down' from the balcony and I also found out that 1) She can jump about 4 feet vertically despite not being 14 weeks old and 2) She can cling to staccato wall like some kind of especially cute spider.
I am definitely not inclined to let her out onto the balcony again.
Added: Kittens Explore Balcony
Today, kittens are unhappy about going to the vet:
They are now micro-chipped and vaccinated though and I let them feast on real meat when they returned, which apparently means they forgot to hate me.
My best friend, Scrappy, just passed on Sunday evening, he was 6. He had a lot more years ahead of him to terrorize my toilet paper.
American Pit Bull Terriers are the most sweetest, goofy, child-like breeds. They don't deserve the bad rep from shitty owners.
@shincashay
Sorry for your loss. 
@Shincashay Aw man, I'm so sorry to hear that.
@shincashay
All the hugs.
@shincashay Many hugs. I am so sorry. Friend of mine's mom was a breeder, and they are the sweetest beasties ever when they're raised with love.
@shincashay He's adorable and was no doubt best doggo. I'm sorry for your loss.
My dog has an enormous bed. I have a small car. Still, when driving halfway across the state to visit @insomniac7809 's parents, we went to the trouble of bringing it with us so he could be comfortable.
This morning, I woke up to this. Note that we apparently went to all of the trouble of squeezing his enormous bed into the car so that he could sleep on the bare hardwood floor next to his dog bed, and not actually on it.
FFS, dog. >.<
I have a love-hate relationship with AJ. He breaks things. He is hyper af (there is no cuddling: he will flop around, climb you, start biting at you). But Ike loves him and she needs a companion for when I am out of the house or she gets really stressed out.
But his biggest issue is he does not let me sleep. Ike sleeps through the night with me. I go to bed, she settles down between my legs and it's happy snuggle time. AJ wants to play. I'm sure at some point he naps, but within a few hours of me lying down, he is bouncing around in the window: trying to climb it, slamming himself into it (bugs outside maybe??). He climbs around my head. He's biting me. I have learned to sleep with a spray bottle in my hand. My accuracy is impeccable.
But it sends him off for 15, 20 seconds before he is back.
I am a walking zombie. This has been my life for ten months. He has not learned. But if I shut him out of the room, all he does is sit at the door, clawing at it, yowling, and slamming it around. It doesn't matter if I put Ike out, too (so that he's not alone). She ends up so miserable she just sits at the door mewling... while he joins in on his tirade.
So I took out my travel carrier from Ike's cross-country flight. The one that opens up nice and huge. I am crating my cat. I've done it twice now. I figure: ffs if a dog can handle being in a crate overnight (with less overall space), my cat can do it for a few hours.
And you know what? It's working. I put him in only once he starts acting out. He fusses at it trying to get out for a few minutes, then he just settles down and naps.
@auspice Gotta show 'em who's boss. Bunnies - and apparantly this is a thing - love to do their exercises at like 5 in the morning. So mine get thrown in indoor hutches overnight. There, they can bounce off the walls all they want and I don't have to worry about someone finding out that fluffy paws+hardwood floors+darting around at mach 9 and turning in a manner that would give a Lightcycle whiplash don't necessarily mix.
@killer-klown said in Critters!:
@auspice Gotta show 'em who's boss. Bunnies - and apparantly this is a thing - love to do their exercises at like 5 in the morning. So mine get thrown in indoor hutches overnight. There, they can bounce off the walls all they want and I don't have to worry about someone finding out that fluffy paws+hardwood floors+darting around at mach 9 and turning in a manner that would give a Lightcycle whiplash don't necessarily mix.
I just would have thought that after TEN MONTHS of spray bottle to the FACE repeatedly throughout the morning, he'd have gotten the message. 
So now that the heat wave has mostly passed the kittens are getting more rumbacious and cuddly. Leading to things like this:
Also I really do need to not leave towels and shirts on the floor. Gah.
@packrat Towels and shirts on the floor are cat heaven. They will be sad with you unless you leave them. Nothing else can save them from the carpet made of lava.
They are so freakin' adorable.
@auspice I am wondering what size they are going to grow though, the black kitten in particular was 2kg at 14 weeks - cats are typically half grown at sixteen weeks. Combined with her floof she is going to be a gigantic fluff monster.
@packrat Gigantic fluff monsters are awesome. Mine's on my chair, intermittently chirping at the screen like the flurfaderp she is. (I love my derpy fluffcoward. She's amazing.)
Disney Princess of Cats, I swear.
Disney Princess: sings, dances, and all the woodland creatures rush to do her bidding
Fluffcoward: trills, prances, and all the humans rush to do her bidding
...I think she's secretly much smarter than she lets on, because she's got that routine down to a science.
@auspice You know, I have a client who crates her cat at night. It's not an uncommon thing :stares at her kitten: I might try this.
@jibberthehut said in Critters!:
@auspice You know, I have a client who crates her cat at night. It's not an uncommon thing :stares at her kitten: I might try this.
I mean, I know they make those big uh... cat cages? With the multiple shelves and... those things cost like, $300 or so. I know someone with one, but he uses it like: 'the front door has to be open for the next half hour while we carry something in and out.' 'I'm going to have a repair man over and I don't want the cats in his way.'
It's very short-term.
And they have room to really sprawl out, jump around, get up high like they like. Plus that $300+ price tag also pays off your guilt for caging up your cat.
And then I've seen the stories of people who keep their cat in them full-time and I feel utterly terribly horrified.
But this is just a cat I am trying to train into behaving at night. Most cats know what cat-mom sleepy time is damnit!
