Real life versus online behaviors

[Nemesis]

@arkandel said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@nemesis said in Real life versus online behaviors:

Now you know (and knowing is half the battle)!

What do I know now?

Heh. Did you look at the link? I don't remember how or why I stumbled across Cirno's WWORA, which is effectively his tribute to being a racist and being called a racist, and lots and lots of only his own posts detailing how and why you should never use MSB because of what they did to him.

It doesn't actually detail any bad behavior on MSB's part, and knowing Cirno just as well as I know trash like surreality et al from 20 years of not understanding what a MUSH is and bitchwhining about it on WORA when actual adults ban them for actual (not imagined or misrepresented) bad behaviors, or just snarking about what a shithole a game is and how staff fucked them over when the dice don't go their way in 1 scene out of hundreds, and never, ever growing up in those 2 decades either, I'm not holding someone banning him against anyone who banned him.

I'm just confused why you'd do it now, the same way I'm confused how/why all the trash people here like to snipe and bitch about VASpider when they act just like her and in fact learned most of their bad behavior from her when she was WORA's owner. They sure all had their heads up her ass then, and for many years afterward, and now suddenly she's villainized for being the same piece of shit she always was. Same is true of Cirno. Same is true of Elsa.

[surreality]

@nemesis said in Real life versus online behaviors:

It doesn't actually detail any bad behavior on MSB's part, and knowing Cirno just as well as I know trash like surreality et al from 20 years of not understanding what a MUSH is and bitchwhining about it on WORA when actual adults ban them

Precious darling, I have never once been banned from any forum, or any game on which I have played. Ever. In those 20+ years. So you are not as sage as you imagine yourself to be, or you are actually the liar in this case.

[Haven]

@surreality said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@nemesis said in Real life versus online behaviors:

It doesn't actually detail any bad behavior on MSB's part, and knowing Cirno just as well as I know trash like surreality et al from 20 years of not understanding what a MUSH is and bitchwhining about it on WORA when actual adults ban them

Precious darling, I have never once been banned from any forum, or any game on which I have played. Ever. In those 20+ years. So you are not as sage as you imagine yourself to be, or you are actually the liar in this case.

I heard lying was bad. I read that somewhere.

[surreality]

@haven It's more just hilarious in this case because dude keeps accusing all of us of lying or being ignorant and confused.

[Arkandel]

@nemesis said in Real life versus online behaviors:

It doesn't actually detail any bad behavior on MSB's part

I don't know either. I wasn't even bothering banning him again even though his accounts were very obvious because I didn't really care, until Auschwitz. Then I cared again.

[Auspice]

@arkandel said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@nemesis said in Real life versus online behaviors:

It doesn't actually detail any bad behavior on MSB's part

I don't know either. I wasn't even bothering banning him again even though his accounts were very obvious because I didn't really care, until Auschwitz. Then I cared again.

I dunno. I mean. The AuspiceBitch, AuspiceBitchNazi, et al accounts weren't very creative but they were flattering. But Auspwitz. That one took some creative thinking. I had to applaud him on that one.

[Haven]

Actively attacking women online at all costs is a sign of health, wealth, and happiness. Where can I find such a quality stallion?

[Prototart]

@kitteh said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@Arkandel

Obviously the precise correlation of certain behaviors is going to vary a huge, huge amount. Some people are trolls online just to be trolls, or because the anonymity encourages the behavior. But the other side of your coin, and I brought this up in another thread, is the scary and very uncomfortable truth that: there are actual rapists in our hobby. Statistically, there just are.

i mean, fuck statistical probability, i KNOW of two rapists who used to run comic games, blue from bnb and uh, arthur dent from a comic place that used hitchhiker names for staff

[Packrat]

Another factor that I have run into a lot is that, certainly in a text only medium, is is amazingly easy to attribute the worst possible motivations to people when you interact with them online. I certainly am not perfect at practising what I preach there but my own experience is that if I clamp down on my initial gut reaction to personally file somebody as a Super Jerk for disagreeing with me or questioning what I am sure was an objectively right decision?

Fuck it, they probably had some kind of point or are operating under different assumptions and priorities to me, so if I continue to treat them as a cool person then it will likely be a self fulfilling prophesy.

Obviously that goes out of the window if they start vomiting forth sexist or racist vitriol.

[Coin]

The internet is where moderation and limitations come to die. You wanna see what someone's willing to do, say, and support? Go online.

I don't care if you're a fucking saint in every social interaction offline--if you're a dick online that means you wanna be a dick and think it's funny. The degree to which that's a problem varies widely.

[Ganymede]

@coin said in Real life versus online behaviors:

I don't care if you're a fucking saint in every social interaction offline--if you're a dick online that means you wanna be a dick and think it's funny. The degree to which that's a problem varies widely.

Whether a person is considered a "dick" online is a conclusion often made from too few interactions, and subject to a wealth of biases.

None of us are saints here, for example, but I would not say all of us are dicks online or offline.

I'd like to be as non-judgmental as I can about folks. It's the least I can do. In return, I try to be positive and avoid connecting when I'm in a pissy mood. I'm not perfect in my interactions with folks, but I think very few people would call me a dick, even if I've flown off the handle a couple of times.

[insomniac7809]

@coin said in Real life versus online behaviors:

The internet is where moderation and limitations come to die. You wanna see what someone's willing to do, say, and support? Go online.

I don't care if you're a fucking saint in every social interaction offline--if you're a dick online that means you wanna be a dick and think it's funny. The degree to which that's a problem varies widely.

"The person who's a sweetheart to their date and an asshole to the waiter is an asshole."

[Coin]

@ganymede said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@coin said in Real life versus online behaviors:

I don't care if you're a fucking saint in every social interaction offline--if you're a dick online that means you wanna be a dick and think it's funny. The degree to which that's a problem varies widely.

Whether a person is considered a "dick" online is a conclusion often made from too few interactions, and subject to a wealth of biases.

None of us are saints here, for example, but I would not say all of us are dicks online or offline.

I'd like to be as non-judgmental as I can about folks. It's the least I can do. In return, I try to be positive and avoid connecting when I'm in a pissy mood. I'm not perfect in my interactions with folks, but I think very few people would call me a dick, even if I've flown off the handle a couple of times.

That's why I said the degree to which that's a problem varies widely. You can be a massive dick and a horrible person, or just kinna dickish in general but otherwise tolerable.

@insomniac7809 said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@coin said in Real life versus online behaviors:

The internet is where moderation and limitations come to die. You wanna see what someone's willing to do, say, and support? Go online.

I don't care if you're a fucking saint in every social interaction offline--if you're a dick online that means you wanna be a dick and think it's funny. The degree to which that's a problem varies widely.

"The person who's a sweetheart to their date and an asshole to the waiter is an asshole."

Firm belief, yo. Especially having been a waiter--and all sorts of other service industry-related jobs.

[ThatGuyThere]

@insomniac7809 said in Real life versus online behaviors:

"The person who's a sweetheart to their date and an asshole to the waiter is an asshole."

I think this is one of the best quotes I have ever seen.

[Coin]

@thatguythere said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@insomniac7809 said in Real life versus online behaviors:

"The person who's a sweetheart to their date and an asshole to the waiter is an asshole."

I think this is one of the best quotes I have ever seen.

Less a quote, more a maxim. But it's solid life advice (even if the most common place to find it is magazines like Cosmopolitan, which leads to this sort of asshat behavior).

[ThatGuyThere]

@coin
I like it less knowing that it comes from Cosmo given the quality of a lot of their advice.
But it is going into the bag with "Adversity does not build character, it reveals it." As a line I will over use in the future.

[Coin]

@thatguythere said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@coin
I like it less knowing that it comes from Cosmo given the quality of a lot of their advice.
But it is going into the bag with "Adversity does not build character, it reveals it." As a line I will over use in the future.

Again, more of a life maxim--it doesn't actually come from Cosmo as such. A lot of women first read it in Cosmo.

[insomniac7809]

@coin said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@thatguythere said in Real life versus online behaviors:

@insomniac7809 said in Real life versus online behaviors:

"The person who's a sweetheart to their date and an asshole to the waiter is an asshole."

I think this is one of the best quotes I have ever seen.

Less a quote, more a maxim. But it's solid life advice (even if the most common place to find it is magazines like Cosmopolitan, which leads to this sort of asshat behavior).

Goodhart's law in action: "when a metric becomes a target, it's no longer a metric."

[Ganymede]

@thatguythere said in Real life versus online behaviors:

I like it less knowing that it comes from Cosmo given the quality of a lot of their advice.

I know you probably did not mean it so, but this is sexist bullshit.

A maxim should be evaluated on the message conveyed, the clarity of that conveyance, and the power of the words used. It doesn't matter where you find it. It does not even matter who says it. If it's a cool quote or anecdote, then it's cool no matter how you come across it.

Magazines like Teen Vogue are trying very hard to change themselves into something more than what it has been in the past. In fact, Cosmopolitan won a GLAAD award for outstanding coverage in 2015. They have been fighting the general bias you're espousing for a while now, while they probably shouldn't have to.

It's okay to like Cosmo.

[Kanye Qwest]

@ganymede SASSY was such a dope magazine