Creative/Clean insults?

[Cobalt]

The other day I had a thought about someone that was basically: "You seem like the type of person who drives with their brights on. Always on."

Which got me to thinking about other creative but clean "gentle" insults or mockery. What's the cleanest but most creative insult you've got?

[Saturna]

@cobaltasaurus

Stop stealing my oxygen.

[Saturna]

@cobaltasaurus also, as per Audric's favourite gif:

I bet you put the spoon back in the sugar.

[Tinuviel]

@saturna said in Creative/Clean insults?:

I bet you put the spoon back in the sugar.

Of course I put the spoon back in the sugar. It's the sugar spoon, I don't stir with it. Don't be gauche.

My favourite clean insult/mocking comment was this: You make a glass of water feel particularly intelligent.

[Saturna]

@tinuviel said in Creative/Clean insults?:

@saturna said in Creative/Clean insults?:

I bet you put the spoon back in the sugar.

Of course I put the spoon back in the sugar. It's the sugar spoon, I don't stir with it. Don't be gauche.

The implication is, however, that you -do- stir with it.

[Coin]

You're the reason shampoo comes with instructions.

[Too Old For This]

You seem like someone that's pissed into the wind a few times.

[surreality]

I always liked the old Foghorn Leghorn 'about as sharp as a sack of wet mice', and ye olde 'What color is the sky in your world?'

'...and, still, you're talking.'

'Oh, you were serious?'

[Coin]

You should climb up on your ego and jump alllllllll the way down to your IQ.

[Coin]

A classic Argentine insult: ¿Naciste boludo o te recibiste? º

º Were you born an idiot/asshole or did you get a degree?

[Tinuviel]

@coin That's fairly common in the Anglophone world too: Did you have to study to be so stupid (or insert your own amusing epithet.)

[Coin]

@tinuviel Yeah. I know. But hey.

[Tinuviel]

@coin Oh. Is 'Naciste' pronounced 'na-kh-ee-st'?

[Coin]

@tinuviel said in Creative/Clean insults?:

@coin Oh. Is 'Naciste' pronounced 'na-kh-ee-st'?

nah-CEASE-teh.

[Crawfish]

This is good timing, I'm spending the whole day with my in-laws. These will work great.

[Tinuviel]

@coin Are all the c consonants soft in Argentinian Spanish? More 's' like than 'k' like?

ETA: Sorry to derail the thread. Linguist mode activate.

[mietze]

You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

You are the lesser son of greater sires.

I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met you.

If you had an idea it would die of loneliness.

You could throw yourself on the ground and miss.

When you were a child, did your mama rock your cradle too close to the wall?

I think this wine has been drunk before.

[Tinuviel]

"Some babies were dropped on their heads but clearly you were thrown at the wall."

[Coin]

@tinuviel said in Creative/Clean insults?:

@coin Are all the c consonants soft in Argentinian Spanish? More 's' like than 'k' like?

ETA: Sorry to derail the thread. Linguist mode activate.

No.

Depends on the vowel that follows it. A, O, and U take /k/; I and E take /s/.

Same as in normal Spanish, honestly. We just don't use /th/ for some of the /s/ instances, like they do in Spain.

[Dreampipe]

"It's not much, but you deserve it."