Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?

[Ghost]

Since a tear I went on in another thread is partially responsible for the creation of this one, I won't be long winded.

Someone once told me (about TT RPG, LARP) that "You have one amazing experience, and then beat your head against a wall trying to meet or exceed that defining experience". I think there's wisdom in that, and I think it applies here.

There's good and bad in everything, but I think that every musher can speak a time about the "best it ever was" and are willing to go through a little Hell in hopes of finding it again. I think people may sometimes feel like others are keeping it from being "great like it used to be", and that some aggro may come from that.

I think there are some bad social habits in play (bullying, guilt engineering, false accusations, cliqueish behavior, forcing RL issues onto others, etc, whisper networks, etc), but I also think there are some very great people who still try to create fun, low-drama playspaces. I think some people are much nicer than others. I think some people can't separate the OOC from the IC (and that this has become a cultural problem in the hobby), and I think there are some people who do really well at maintaining their neutrality and focus on IC over OOC.

I'd say the issues in this poll/thread account for maybe 50% of the reason I hung up my mushing hat. I didn't feel that I could role play without having to navigate (navigate, not necessarily be affected by, but the need to always be mindful of, as well as always approached with it) OOC drama, and that some of these behaviors across the games had become too threaded into the culture to warrant continuing my search to meet/exceed that best experience. I felt that the negativity/drama could not be avoided to the point where partaking in the games always meant trying to enjoy yourself in spite of. The juice started to not feel worth the squeeze, so to speak.

(The other 50% consists of a mix of other personal issues, time constraints, RL activities, a need to try new things, etc, if anyone was curious; not that it's important or necessary information. No issues with quality of roleplay. I know some baller writers.)

[Ghost]

@Ghost said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

Since a tear I went on in another thread is partially responsible for the creation of this one, I won't be long winded.

Well that worked out we'll, didn't it?

I never could say anything in 20 words or less...
-Concrete Blonde

[Ifrit]

@Tinuviel said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

@surreality I especially despise people that rely on an appeal to authority to some claimed professional or educational knowledge. I hate appeals to authority normally, but especially on the internet by faceless, nameless, probably lifeless people? No, I don't care if you say you have degrees in X, Y, or Z - 1) I don't believe you, 2) That's not an argument.

How dare you. I have a degree in theatre don't you know.

Which means I'm perfectly qualified for theatrics.

ETA and I've just realised this is mildly constructive so... I voted yes, but that's mainly because when I'm not enjoying myself I just drift off fairly quickly.

[Arkandel]

I wouldn't be part of this hobby (or run a forum about it) if I didn't enjoy it.

The pros need to considerably outweigh the cons if I'm to be part of something I'm not getting paid for. Period.

[Coin]

I put yes, but there is a caveat:

I enjoy it more now, when I alot less time to it, than I did in the past, when it was a focus.

It's something I touched on with my therapist the other day when she asked if I was back to playing and I said yes, but in a diminished capacity (from when she met me years and years ago), and that I was enjoying it more when I got to play. It comes down to, we concluded, saturation and expectation.

I used to play a lot, and immersed myself in it, and it was my focus. That meant that if things were going badly in my RP, it would affect everything else in my life, and my hobby wouldn't be fulfilling or even enjoyable because it made me miserable not even just while playing, but outside it, too. Now, in a point in my life where I give it not minimal, but definitely much less, attention (I don't play on weekends [with rare exceptions], mostly, and especially not on Saturdays when I hardly even chat with RP folks at all if I even do), I find that I am not as saturated with the hobby and that I am expectant of even the simplest scenes, which makes for a much more gratifying experience.

TL;DR I enjoy it now because I don't do it as much or with as much focus.

[Arkandel]

@Coin said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

I put yes, but there is a caveat:

I enjoy it more now, when I alot less time to it, than I did in the past, when it was a focus.

I think this is a more widespread issue with gaming in general because it's a very human thing for us to expect a return for our investment. Like... when a hobby - hell, when anything - becomes a big part of our lives since we just sink so many hours of the day into it then on an emotional level we wait something proportionate back from it. A payout, a win, recognition, something.

And... well, MUSHing doesn't have that. Gaming doesn't have it unless we're among the damn few who monetize and do it professionally. But otherwise even the most 'successful' among us won't ever see anything near the level such returns would have to make them worth the investment, so entertainment and whatever fulfillment that grants needs to be it.

Hell, it's not even like more mainstream forms of nerd-dom we can at least expect... if not recognition then awareness. Spending 3+ hours a night on something no one outside of the hobby even knows exists, and you'd have to explain it from the ground up to even get a confused 'oh, okay, I see' is... not easy.

That's a pretty tough pill to swallow but, I believe, it's essential that we do it knowingly.

[Coin]

@Arkandel said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

@Coin said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

I put yes, but there is a caveat:

I enjoy it more now, when I alot less time to it, than I did in the past, when it was a focus.

I think this is a more widespread issue with gaming in general because it's a very human thing for us to expect a return for our investment. Like... when a hobby - hell, when anything - becomes a big part of our lives since we just sink so many hours of the day into it then on an emotional level we wait something proportionate back from it. A payout, a win, recognition, something.

And... well, MUSHing doesn't have that. Gaming doesn't have it unless we're among the damn few who monetize and do it professionally. But otherwise even the most 'successful' among us won't ever see anything near the level such returns would have to make them worth the investment, so entertainment and whatever fulfillment that grants needs to be it.

Hell, it's not even like more mainstream forms of nerd-dom we can at least expect... if not recognition then awareness. Spending 3+ hours a night on something no one outside of the hobby even knows exists, and you'd have to explain it from the ground up to even get a confused 'oh, okay, I see' is... not easy.

That's a pretty tough pill to swallow but, I believe, it's essential that we do it knowingly.

Oh, it's definitely just "the MU version of a much more common problem", yeah.

[Ganymede]

@Coin said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

I enjoy it now because I don't do it as much or with as much focus.

This is where I am at right now.

I want to love it more, but I don't. I have other interests and responsibilities now, but it is really nice sometimes to sit in a darkened living room, and type away happily while sifting through news articles.

[Arkandel]

@Ganymede said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

@Coin said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

I enjoy it now because I don't do it as much or with as much focus.

This is where I am at right now.

I want to love it more, but I don't. I have other interests and responsibilities now, but it is really nice sometimes to sit in a darkened living room, and type away happily while sifting through news articles.

I'd like to say I'm there too for the same reasons but really... I'm waiting for the right game to bait me out there.

[Rinel]

Absolutely. It's been a big boost to my mood this past year and a half. The only thing I struggle with is knowing that I need to improve how I RP and also knowing that I have unrealistic fears of people disliking me--so I worry about what is actual dislike/bad RP on my part vs. what is my imagination.

I think the solution is just to get people you like and trust to give you advice, though!

[Wizz]

I think I do.

Sometimes people get too caught up in it and get possessive about IC game elements that are like...y'know, game elements. They're not real, so I get weirded out whenever I see it and unfortunately I see it a lot whenever I come back to the hobby.

Like, as much as I love telling stories -- and holy crap, I do! -- I could just be doing this on my own and avoid the weirdness, but...ahhhh there's nothing like collaborating!

[faraday]

Yes, but I often get burned out - not by the work, but by the negativity. That's why there tend to be long breaks between the games that I run. I walk away for awhile and do other things, but I keep coming back.

[Lemon Fox]

To be completely honest, I voted yes, but maybe not? I don't have the time to sit through six hour adventures anymore, and I had all but faded out of the community until a friend recommended Arx to me. Arx was wonderful and amazing and the social system let me be 'there' without being there, you know? It reignited my passion for MUSHing.

And then I lost access to that wonderful community because I was dumb and it's been made clear that they will never ever forgive me.

That was a year and a half ago, and I've never really found another MU that hit that sweet spot for me again, and I'm starting to wonder why I keep looking. So...maybe not? I do love reading about the drama here, though.

[Ghost]

@Lemon-Fox said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

I lost access to that wonderful community because I was dumb and it's been made clear that they will never ever forgive me.

This is a horrible thing to feel.

I also think you're not alone, and that many mushers either feel that way or live in fear of feeling that way because they know just how tenuous reputations can be and just how much character assassination catches on. It's shockingly easy to spread a lie, and shockingly difficult to prove that you're a good person to people you've never even talked to in an OOC sense.

Have you considered getting out of the OOC game, going the anonymity route, and just roleplaying without the stigma of you being you?

[Ghost]

Sidebar: Some people might think "WTF, going to ground, changing your email, and going with a new login persona and not declaring who you are is a thing that trolls, creepers, and stalkers do; this is wrong!"

But I think it's fair to say that if this is what someone has to do to get out of the obsessively OOC persona-war game, then I respect people doing it to get the fuck out.

After all, if they opt to get back in (I.e. tell people who they are, get involved in OOC drama/spats) then whatever benefit they had at anonymizing their fresh start would be ruined.

If you keep it IC, play fair, and are nice to people, there's no damage.

[Roz]

@Ghost In this case, it would be evading a staff ban, not so much the other stuff you described.

[Ghost]

@Roz Oh, well then if it's a staff ban, yeah. It would be wrong to go anonymous to creep back in.

It's not fun, but "sneaking into a place you want to enjoy without being bothered" is way different from "Sneaking into a place that has your face posted on the wall as a person who is not welcome".

Plenty of games and fish out there that I'm sure are open to app into and try out a fresh start.

[Lemon Fox]

I think these last few posts have firmly pushed me into the "do not enjoy" category after all.

While I get that there are a lot of slimy players who have hurt people a lot over the years, I was just posting my feelings about MUSHing. There was no need to put up a wanted poster with my face on it because someone else suggested breaking the rules.

Maybe it's just this forum, but the community seems so viciously toxic at times, and never let anything be forgotten.

[Tinuviel]

@Lemon-Fox said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

There was no need to put up a wanted poster with my face on it because someone else suggested breaking the rules.

That was a metaphor.

[Lemon Fox]

@Tinuviel It was an appropriate one, which is why I continued with it.