Dating in the 2020's

Jeshin · Feb 4, 2020, 4:29 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpfZfFzv5Gk&list=PL_saLI-LH-VqVbA_5bJufVDgjwhbnYtBs

Cracked did a humorous and semi enlightening series about this!

Darren · Feb 4, 2020, 4:48 PM

I never really dated, mainly because I never really had to go looking for potential partners. Then I hit 40 and became a /lot/ less active, socially, and that all changed. I played with Tinder and Grindr a bit (morbid curiosity, mostly) and found that I did not much care for the shallowness and casual racism that permeates those platforms so, yeah. I'll stick to more conventional ways to meet people.

Coin · Feb 4, 2020, 4:54 PM

@Testament said in Dating in the 2020's:

I'm one of those weird examples where Tinder actually worked for me. I don't know how to explain it, but I managed to run into someone there was exactly who they said they were. Honesty on the internet, who would've expected that.

Happened to me, too, but with OkCupid. It just didn't last; but it was a good year and a half.

boneghazi · Feb 4, 2020, 4:59 PM

I met my husband online, but in the year 2000.
It was a random ICQ chat connection - with his brother originally who's slightly younger than me - and we chatted for almost 3 years before we met in real life.

Crawfish · Feb 4, 2020, 5:08 PM

All of my serious adult relationships started online. Met my first boyfriend in an IRC RP chat, that was 8 years of glorious fun and he's still one of my best friends. Met my husband on WoW, he was my GM and I traded soundbytes for enchant materials. Poly, so met another SO in an MU*. I don't know what to do with people I meet in real life other than to feed them and give them coffee. I'm too awkward to express attraction if it's not somewhere I can delete and correct before hitting enter. Dating sites give me the willies but I do like the social personals app Lex.app, because I can meet friends that way. Still poly but dating? I can't remember how to do that.

Arkandel · Feb 4, 2020, 5:43 PM

@SinCerely said in Dating in the 2020's:

on WoW, he was my GM and I traded soundbytes for enchant materials

Crawfish · Feb 4, 2020, 5:54 PM

@Arkandel said in Dating in the 2020's:

@SinCerely said in Dating in the 2020's:

on WoW, he was my GM and I traded soundbytes for enchant materials

<curiosity ensues>

Mostly parody dirty talk with World of Warcraft metaphors. 'Epic purple two-hander', 'one-man raid with legendary drops'. It was hilarious and successful in ways I didn't intend.

Auspice · Feb 4, 2020, 6:32 PM

All Tinder, OKCupid, etc do is make me hyper aware of the fact that I'm overweight. I’m not hugely obese and frankly im pretty much average for what we have in the US now but I am fat. But those apps aren't built on personality or interests or hey we both like this band. They're built on looks.

So every time I try, I end up with the same sort of guy messaging me and from a negging angle. 300+lbs, anime or video game obsessed (I have no issue with either but when their profile makes it clear these things are ALL they do...), and with enough hints to make it clear they're likely on 4chan also.

So I'm basically just good enough for the 'Oh hey she's fat so I'll insult her just enough that she'll feel she has no other choice but to date me' crowd.

Someone out there someday might find me attractive again that I'm also interested in. Or be a demisexual like I am. That'd probably be best tbh.

Ganymede · Feb 4, 2020, 6:49 PM

@Auspice

I'm so fucking old.

What does "negging" mean? And "demisexual"?

Auspice · Feb 4, 2020, 6:51 PM

@Ganymede said in Dating in the 2020's:

@Auspice

I'm so fucking old.

What does "negging" mean? And "demisexual"?

Negging is basically using backhanded 'compliments' to try to manipulate the other person into striving for your approval. 'I'd find you so much hotter if you....'
Like they have that HINT that the person thinks you're attractive, but they're also an insult, while trying to force you to improve yourself for them.

I may have terrible self-esteem, but I'm also a bitch, so they don't work on me.

demisexual means that I don't find someone physically attractive until/unless I have an emotional connection with them. Tho this only goes for men. Women I can find hot and be willing to jump their bones right off the bat.

Macha · Feb 5, 2020, 1:18 AM

My first two super serious relationships I met them online through friends I RPed with. The last one I met while out on a cheese trail thing with other friends.

I've had a lot of less serious relationships, but I don't have the time or energy for that bullshit anymore. Either be totally chill and we hang out/have sex/you go home at the end of the night - or let's get fucking real and figure out if we really want to go long term, you know?

Ominous · Feb 5, 2020, 3:03 AM

@Kestrel said in Dating in the 2020's:

Online people openly list things like their political views, their favourite TV shows, music etc., long before you would find these things out about them in person. Especially on OKCupid, with its question format, it's super easy for me to, for example, click right through to the disagreement section and eliminate anyone who doesn't answer "yes" to "are you a feminist". Because honestly it gets tiring for me to have to educate good looking arseholes on these issues IRL.

OKCupid is dead, at least in my area. I went from having like 50-60 women in the 90 ratings in a 50 mile range in 2011-2015 to 5 today. Ever since they changed the messaging system, made it so that you can't rate lower than 50% with someone, got rid of the minimum 200 questions before being able to have a rating, and let people choose their own questions to answer (thus letting people avoid some of the nitty gritty questions that help you figure a person out), the population has plummeted. Bumble, Tinder, and Hinge somewhat are the only places that people seem to be on anymore, and those sites/apps are even more superficial than meeting someone in person and dating them out of lust.

RightMeow · Feb 5, 2020, 3:35 AM

@Ominous

Okay, I know most the ones listed so far, but what the heck is Hinge?

Ominous · Feb 5, 2020, 3:39 AM

@RightMeow

Hinge is Tinder utilizing Facebook. It connects to Facebook to show you friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, etc, hoping you will match. However, Facebook Dating is now a thing, so who knows how long Hinge will last.

Derp · Feb 5, 2020, 3:39 AM

@RightMeow said in Dating in the 2020's:

@Ominous

Okay, I know most the ones listed so far, but what the heck is Hinge?

It's what happens when a younger generation realizes that facebook is a thing and they don't have to fill out 200 questions on OkCupid or Match or something and just have the app crawl through their other social media connections to try and find people in their network and their friends' networks that have the same sorts of interests and stuff.

You know. Using Facebook to facilitate having a sex life. Bringing it back to its roots.

Ominous · Feb 5, 2020, 3:44 AM

@Derp said in Dating in the 2020's:

You know. Using Facebook to facilitate having a sex life. Bringing it back to its roots.

I remember the days of Facebook requiring you to have a college email address to sign up. Fun times.

Prism · Feb 5, 2020, 3:50 AM

Saw this today, laughed a little. To be clear, this is a joke.

https://amazondating.co/

Credit to @aniacopian on twitter.

RightMeow · Feb 5, 2020, 4:41 AM

That's it. I'm done dating now. Facebook dating. All these dating sites.

Who wants to get married? I'll entertain all offers. Think of the tax break for next year.

Auspice · Feb 5, 2020, 4:48 AM

@RightMeow said in Dating in the 2020's:

That's it. I'm done dating now. Facebook dating. All these dating sites.

Who wants to get married? I'll entertain all offers. Think of the tax break for next year.

do you do bathrooms

RightMeow · Feb 5, 2020, 5:02 AM

@Auspice Yes. I hate dishes though.