Well, it's over. She went into Hospice on Thursday, and I got the call already that she's gone. I am unbelievably thankful I got to say goodbye on Wednesday, and to hold her hand, and to tell her I love her.

I knew it would be quick, and I would almost certainly never see her alive again, but I wasn't quite prepared for it to be /this/ fast.

Thank you to everyone for the kindness and the thoughts/energy you spared. I am sure it helped ease her on her way.

So, back when I worked in retail, I was often the only one in my store (Posters, pictures, canvas reproductions, framing, etc etc). And I would often be alone there for HOURS. No way to take an actual break, etc.

But I did get to know the mall walkers. There was one little duo (sometimes trio). Charlie and Dave (and sometimes Dave's wife, when she was up to it.) They would wave hello and say good morning every day. I would sometimes be at the front of the store to make sure everything looked right, and they'd stop and chit chat a couple minutes. Just absolute SWEETHEART people.

Charlie, one day, was solo (Dave and his wife whose name I could swear was Flora, but...it's been a long time - were on vacation), was taking his time, because he told me he was going to do extra laps so he could have a 'fat man's lunch'. A guy kept walking back and forth in front of my store, and I was working at the counter, doing I don't remember what. Guy finally comes in, and is just.. browsing. Fine, happens all the time. We had a LOT of posters and pictures, etc.

He leaves when someone else comes in, and later comes back. At this point, we're reaching creep meter making the back of my neck itch. Charlie, gods love him, swings on in, casual as could be. "Hey, sweetheart, your aunt called about dinner tonight. Your mom and I didn't know if you'd be there, or if you were bringing Matt." Bliiiiiiink. Flash a bright smile. "Oh, sure, Dad. I'll pick up Matt after work, and we'll head over. Should I bring anything?"

He lingers another couple minutes, and looks at the dude dead-on. Dude made TRACKS. We proceed to cover our mouths to try and smother the laughter. THEN? He brought me take out from the place he went for 'Fat Man's Lunch' (Place gives very generous portions), so I can eat without worrying about closing the gate and all that crap, and my boss doesn't have a stroke.

Charlie also, a couple months later, found out it was my birthday, and waited for me to get out at 2, to ask me if he could take me for lunch. Yes. We went to the place he went for Fat Man's Lunch. It was delicious.

So many good mornings at that job involved Charlie and Dave.

So my lawyer called - the employer that fired me for sugar crashes got the filed suit. They want to settle. Here's hoping.

It finally happened. My background check came through. I CAN QUIT HELL.

WOOOHOO!

My aunt is being put under hospice care. I've been told to come say my goodbyes. She's the matriarch, the one who remembers all the birthdays of /everyone/ (and with my cousins' broods, that's a LOT), the one who always has the sage advice but will also tell you to put on your big kid pants and deal with it.

When my mother died, her house was home, while my father tried to handle everything. She was safety and logic and the stories of my dad when he was young, and what my mother was really like. She taught my sisters and I all kinds of weird things, and always made us dance the jitterbug at parties.

I guess I needed to blurt it all out. If y'all could spare a little kind energy - she's a great lady, a tough as hell woman, and one of my heroes. This hurts.

Miracles happen. I just got a conference call that tells me I'm going back to my actual job, effective immediately. The big boss said "We need you to be happy, because we like the work you've been doing, and we want you there when the office reopens."

The immense change in how I was feeling is mind blowing.

I just can't catch a break. My aunt in August, an old friend in September, and my grandmother passed away suddenly this evening.

She's my stepmonster's mother, but I've called her grandma since I was 7. She distanced herself the last couple years, especially since my father died, but I still care.

This will sound weird, but a couple hours after she passed, all of a sudden I could taste caramel corn. Like the taste was so thick in my mouth, I could have been eating it. But that was her thing. If I went to the mall where the caramel corn stand is, I had to bring her some. I'm choosing to decide that means she was saying goodbye.

When a player you loved RPing with pops back up into your MU life.

Well, I just got off an interview.

I should receive an offer letter before the end of the day.

Please gods, let this happen.

I SO WANT TO TELL MY BOSS OFF.

So, on a day when my current job is sucking eggs...

I have started receiving equipment from the job due to start next week. I didn't get a confirmation email, but I think sending me an expensive monitor might supersede that.

@Misadventure huh. This seems interesting and useful though i could see your CEOs point, too

It was one of my very, very first TTs. I was like.. 12? 13?

And my poor, very underpowered in comparison character only had a gun, three bullets, and an alleyway. So she ran into the alleyway, but got followed by the big bad. the boys are all snickering, now

Not much else to do, right? She pulled out the gun she did NOT have much in the way of points in... and BEST ROLL OF MY TT LIFE. It shut the game down, for the night. Ooops.

@Cobalt So, out of curiosity, since you've apparently stated you went back into pages and verified what I was saying, and that he came to you /after/ he and I fought about the thing you were warned about the player for, and so on.

I've shown the logs, more than just the one. I've shown my commentary from the discord.

You knew he was a possible creeper, he had already done something shady, but when he came to you with that log - you just rolled with it. You didn't even offer me the benefit of the doubt as I have you, in this situation.

I would like you to acknowledge that maybe you reacted from the gut, and not from clear thought. Maybe he exaggerated things, etc. We all do such things, at times.

I'd like to think if you do that, we can leave all of this behind us, where it belongs.

@LucidArt I have been dealing with that just fine, person I have no idea who you are. All I can do is prove I didn't do what I was accused of in this case. I can only keep trying to show people that sometimes talk isn't true.

But it would be nice if certain people acknowledged it may be possible this didn't go down the way it was portrayed.

@TNP Accusations seem to be enough these days. Even with proof otherwise.

@Cobalt And yet you are basically slut shaming me, calling me a creeper and worse, for a log that didn't have any TS in it.

I have provided proof, you've gotten more yourself, I've been told, and yet, you can't just say "Sorry, I got given bad intel, and because it was a sensitive topic for me, I reacted from the gut?"

There was consent for the scene. You didn't even think to ask me anything. You just banned me, and dragged this out. I would have been happy to show you the pages, where we checked in with each other, making sure things were still okay.

I never tried to get your database. There were people wanting to continue the feel of the game, about a half dozen of us, in a discord group discussing it.

And despite EVERYTHING? If that scene did trigger you and upset you, I'm sorry for that. I would never want to have that happen to someone, even if when it was written, it wasn't meant for anyone but the two writing it.

@Cobalt Actually, Tamara asked for the game, without my prompting, as a group of us were considering opening a sort of sequel. Later, I did, since she had already been speaking to you about such matters, ask her to ask about wiki pages, which I was told would not hold any sort of IP/identifiable information. That was all stuff discussed pre-ban, thank you.

I never asked for the actual database, since you stated why you did not want to hand over the game whole cloth, etc.

It was suggested to ask for backups of the wiki pages.
— 03/05/2023 11:33 PM
[11:34 PM]
"And yeah, if people wanted to roll their characters in, that'd be fun. But you'd probably want clear support from Feli for that, and I'd ask her for the wiki pages if I were you. There's a basic backup of that that Ares generates, and it should include lots of what you would need."

If you had asked me at all, I could have shown you the pages where we each said "If something isn't okay with you, I'll edit it." (paraphrasing) from the night that scene started. I would have been more than happy to.

@Bessarion I am not even talking about your Zombie game, as I have no idea if Isaac is playing there. As for the player I reached out to 'telling me in no uncertain terms'? The other day.. Tuesday or Wednesday?, was the only time I had actually gotten a response while logged in, from said person in question.

Again, I had no idea you had banned me, there wasn't a post, I would have no way of knowing. As for the VPN, I already explained that, as well.

I have no idea what DARVO even stands for, but you go on and do you.

Again, I said I was non-fussed, because I have decided to use some of this time working on some other things that I can sink more time into without the ...well, this bullshit. I had already been there, before the ban/accusation (on my old, sadly busted up laptop, so no VPN), and had already decided it was not for me.

As for the 'homophobic shit'. As someone who is part of that group, I have seen is used fairly often by those of the LGBTQ+ community. Including on the Pack wiki page, for a business open to all identities and sexualities.

However, I shall refrain from using it, in the future, and apologize if anyone was bothered by it. I could edit it, but, it's quoted, and then I'd get dragged for editing, etc.

While @kk may be unsure, having read the suspect's poses and such, I am not. I am 99.5% sure that Isaac is the same player. It's starting to make me feel dirty, finding out all the things he's done/is doing.

While I am not fussed about being pre-banned from a game based on Cobalt's accusations, it does somewhat bother me that this player is allowed to be around, doing.. gods know what.

Knowing he is using being part of the alphabet mafia, and then Autism, ADHD, and other mental health issues as an excuse for his behavior is agitating.

Oh man, that's nuts. I keep meaning to post about folks, but.. yeah. RL is a whirl.