RL Anger

[surreality]

@kitteh I have a weird scale on this one, too, relatively speaking. My mother is super repressed. She hated that her child got that kind of attention. I am very fortunate that she didn't take me to see a doc about a reduction until after I was 18 so I could legally refuse. She was intending to force the matter, and they told her that legally, she no longer could do so. (I didn't want one; I do not consider this 'there is something wrong with me', though I understand why some other folks might in their own cases; if people can't deal with me how I was made, fuck 'em.)

Compared to that? Double-take dude is zero stress.

[kitteh]

@surreality Ah, sorry you had to deal with that, lack of support from the people who are closest it is a real downer. I've had some of my own... family issues but my mom has always been supportive (I'm guessing she might be a little younger, and she was a young mom - a lot of her support I think comes from her own negative experiences) and has encouraged me such that I'm now looking at how I can help and support other people.

[surreality]

@kitteh Oh, mine's a crazy over the top Catholic zealot. The idea that boys might look at her daughter as something other than marriage-bait was such a terror to her that...

...ok. The sex talk I got? Was being handed a pamphlet from the 1960s on menstruation when I was 12, after school had covered this. The next installment was, and I quote it in its entirety and verbatim, not until I was 19, and for some reason occurred in a specific Red Lobster in which apparently every awkward conversation between us has ever happened: "Make sure little willy always wears his raincoat."

...she did not know I was dating a William at the time. I do not think the lady who ended up with a spit-take's worth of snow crab legs in her hair after that one appreciated Mom's timing much.

[kitteh]

@surreality Haha, because obviously between 12 and 19 is not in any way, like, the time when you absolutely most need that bit of information, or anything.

[Cupcake]

When you must gently explain to a co-worker that keeping files in alphabetical order does not mean 'shove the file into the file drawer under the correct header tab, but stick any place amongst those files that looks convenient'.

Seriously, do people not understand what alphabetical order means?

This is the same guy who was too lazy to check the second cabinet where the R's start, and just stuck an R-starting file at the back of the PQ's.

This may seem like a nitpick, but those files are a big part of my job and the time I waste having to locate them because they're out of order, or putting them into order, means time I lose to focus on the main part of my job.

[surreality]

@kitteh OMG, I know, right? That dizzy bitch sent me to live on my own in Los Angeles at 17, ffs. College: it taught me many, many things.

[Ataru]

@kitteh said in RL Anger:

an obvious moment of getting sidetracked by their dick in the middle of a normal conversation. That's a instinctive (if culturally trained) reaction...

I think women often forget that men getting sidetracked by their dicks is biological and not cultural. Now there's creepy behaviour which IS cultural and can be corrected ... leering, whistling, etc ... but honestly, sometimes we just notice things about another person and THE DICK takes over briefly. Its hardwired into us.

I mean... I am a man ... who likes dick ... and I can honestly say, the super secret that everyone actually knows, men do think about sex. A. Lot. And I'm not even very sexual and been purposefully celibate for 15 years. That doesn't mean I am able to turn off that biological part of me that goes "I'd tap that."

Sorry for the mansplaining (this thread is bringing the diva out in me), but it would be nice if society would stop telling men they're evil because they're biologically wired to get a stiffy and are incapable of controlling it.

[kitteh]

@Ataru Uh, no.

Having a sex drive is biological, and the womenfolk are definitely not forgetting this or are we unaware of men thinking about sex. This is a frankly insulting thing to say and does come off mansplainy, as much as I hate that term. We're made acutely aware of it from basically every direction for most of our adult (and sadly, probably large parts of our pre-adult) lives, at nearly all times, at many times from totally inappropriate sources. There is no fucking mystery about dicks and what dicks want.

But specific physical reactions/presentations of sexuality are a lot more cultural than they are biological (and this is trivial to prove looking at cultures that thought different things were sexy), as are how we display sexual interest. People fucking learn not to stare. Most of the same dudes who would happily crane their heads to get a better look down my shirt or let me get a step or two ahead on the stairs would think better of gawking at someone in a wheelchair (not all, would, granted - there are some double assholes!). They'd recognize it, but then they'd remember we're not apes and we modulate our behavior because of cultural norms.

And where in this thread did we call you evil? Both me and @surreality were basically saying we totally understood and could even be flattered by such simple short-span reactions. Go reread the posts maybe. It's the difference between "turns his head as you walk by" and "obviously ignores you and just stares at your tits because they're there and why shouldn't he enjoy them?"

[surreality]

Biological reactions don't bug me, same as a double-take. The boobs are themselves the result of such, after all.

It's the people who have made comments, grabbed, groped, etc. that are all acting consciously and deliberately in a totally not-ok fashion that get the tongue-lashing to end all.

[Ataru]

@kitteh Gurl, take it easy.

You're talking about staring and the like... I said that that behaviour was creepy and not appropriate. 99% of men do modulate their behaviour just fine. I was merely stating that our biology reacts to certain things and given double-takes to look, not stare, at boobs or in my case a tight ass is just a fact of life.

I didn't say anyone called me evil or that even anyone in this thread was calling men evil. I was making a general statement and observation, not a specific response to a specific thing someone said here.

Chill.

[kitteh]

@Ataru

Ok sure, but I also just made it clear I was OK with that stuff. And the boobs/ass/etc stuff is way more culturally modulated than you seem to understand. The recent giant booty trend, because it really is a trend, is a great example of it.

Also, the 'we get it' thing is really an important take away. We really do get it, because it's a nonstop, often unwelcome thing, for basically our entire life. Seriously. I am not confused about how sexual men are, or how they view me.

[tragedyjones]

Yesterday, my gf and I moved in in together to a new apartment.

At 6:11 this morning I was awoken to a roach crawling on me.

[Tinuviel]

@tragedyjones Which bit are you angry about?

[tragedyjones]

@Tinuviel the bug. Love the gf

[Tinuviel]

@tragedyjones I was more referencing the moving thing than the girlfriend thing.

Was this a large roach, or a small one? We need to figure out if it was a native, hard working, student loan-having, patriotic American roach, or a liberal, socialist, fascist, immigrant German roach.

[Auspice]

Migraines still a thing.

Not so bad day to day.
Or maybe I've just sort of given up on normal life.

Doctor is moving me up to 150mg.
All talk of injections is gone.

[Sparks]

@Auspice said in RL Anger:

Migraines still a thing.

Not so bad day to day.
Or maybe I've just sort of given up on normal life.

Doctor is moving me up to 150mg.
All talk of injections is gone.

From within 3 weeks and change of migraine (well, at this point, cluster headache), intense sympathies.

[Cupcake]

So some months ago, innocently sitting in the middle of a restaurant and not doing anything at all physically questionable (no, really) I feel this weird disconnect in my hip. It created an odd, uncomfortable, painful sensation, but eventually it goes away and I don't think anymore about it.

I start to notice I'm getting an ache in that area and the occasional twinge of pain, but Tylenol or Advil and some cold/heat takes care of it and I chalk it up to being a rainy day old person ache.

A couple of days ago I fell down my basement staircase a few steps and landed in a frog splat. Felt something very wrong in that area, and it hasn't stopped hurting since. They x-rayed me yesterday and found nothing, gave me more serious pain meds, and told me to call back in a week if it doesn't improve.

Last night I managed to get real sleep, but in the morning when the medication had worn off, I was in agony, and I'm not sure if I'm going to make it through an entire week of this. I can't take the heavy duty painkillers while I'm working or I won't stay awake.

The whole thing is just shitty.

[Karmageddon]

@Cupcake I'm definitely wincing and I hope that you feel better soon. I also strongly urge you to get an MRI. X-rays often miss things.

[Auspice]

@Karmageddon said in RL Anger:

@Cupcake I'm definitely wincing and I hope that you feel better soon. I also strongly urge you to get an MRI. X-rays often miss things.

I'll 2nd MRI. Joint areas, there's always the risk of having pulled something just-so and ending up with bone spurs... which are no fun and not generally caught by x-rays, but cause some really uncomfortable pain.