RL Anger

Tinuviel · Nov 25, 2019, 10:27 PM

@insomniac7809 Except according to the story the guys specifically said ' few dollars he could have to get something to eat.'

People are more inclined, I would imagine, to give money to get food rather than to get a bus ticket or whatever.

Alamias · Nov 25, 2019, 10:28 PM

@wahoo said in RL Anger:

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@insomniac7809 Except according to the story the guys specifically said ' few dollars he could have to get something to eat.'

It's probably pretty demeaning to have someone over you shoulder while you decide what to get.

I've both taken someone to a place and let them pick out what they wanted to eat, or I have asked what people wanted and brought it back to them. In neither case did the people I was helping to feed find it disagreeable, but those are the people I interacted with, so YMMV.

Tinuviel · Nov 25, 2019, 10:29 PM

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@wahoo said in RL Anger:

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@insomniac7809 Except according to the story the guys specifically said ' few dollars he could have to get something to eat.'

It's probably pretty demeaning to have someone over you shoulder while you decide what to get.

I've both taken someone to a place and let them pick out what they wanted to eat, or I have asked what people wanted and brought it back to them. In neither case did the people I was helping to feed find it disagreeable, but those are the people I interacted with, so YMMV.

I can understand the desire for people to get their own food. Do I get something small and inexpensive that won't satiate or something large and more expensive that will deal with my hunger... and will this person pay for that?

surreality · Nov 25, 2019, 10:32 PM

To be fair, if someone specifically claims they are starving and need the money to buy food, then turn down food being bought for them, I'm not going to think they intended to buy food in the first place.

Whether that's cover for some other totally reasonable need or not isn't going to matter at that point.

Deleted · Nov 25, 2019, 10:32 PM

Feeding the 'homeless' who ask you for money isn't helping anyone. Ever. I am a former homeless person. I can regale you with all the tales of homelessness you like. The ones who approach you and ask for food/money are junkies or scammers, for the most part. You're just enabling bad habits or a toxic lifestyle.

If you want to help the homeless give to one of thousands of reputable charities.

Alamias · Nov 25, 2019, 10:32 PM

@Tinuviel said in RL Anger:

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@wahoo said in RL Anger:

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@insomniac7809 Except according to the story the guys specifically said ' few dollars he could have to get something to eat.'

It's probably pretty demeaning to have someone over you shoulder while you decide what to get.

I've both taken someone to a place and let them pick out what they wanted to eat, or I have asked what people wanted and brought it back to them. In neither case did the people I was helping to feed find it disagreeable, but those are the people I interacted with, so YMMV.

I can understand the desire for people to get their own food. Do I get something small and inexpensive that won't satiate or something large and more expensive that will deal with my hunger... and will this person pay for that?

In the times I have done this the people I fed have been given nothing less than a full combo meal from a fast food place at the least, but again this is what I have done and been party to, so YMMV.

Darren · Nov 25, 2019, 10:32 PM

Access to food really isn't a problem here. A person could-- in theory, and assuming they had $3 for a day bus pass-- eat 6 meals a day by hitting each of the three soup kitchens in the area for breakfast and lunch. This would be in addition to what they could scavenge from the dozen or so food panties and of course they would still have their EBT benefits to fall back on.

Alamias · Nov 25, 2019, 10:36 PM

@Admiral said in RL Anger:

Feeding the 'homeless' who ask you for money isn't helping anyone. Ever. I am a former homeless person. I can regale you with all the tales of homelessness you like. The ones who approach you and ask for food/money are junkies or scammers, for the most part. You're just enabling bad habits or a toxic lifestyle.

If you want to help the homeless give to one of thousands of reputable charities.

When they specifically are asking for food? Sorry. Going to have to agree to disagree with you.

EDITED: Maybe they are scammers or junkies, but even if that is the case I am helping to feed someone who is hungry and still find this an acceptable use of my donation as opposed to just handing over $ which may or may not be used for the things that were requested. I would rather feed a scammer/junkie than give them the $20 to get their next fix which might be the one to kill them.

surreality · Nov 25, 2019, 10:39 PM

@wahoo said in RL Anger:

@Alamias said in RL Anger:

@insomniac7809 Except according to the story the guys specifically said ' few dollars he could have to get something to eat.'

It's probably pretty demeaning to have someone over you shoulder while you decide what to get.

It's also pretty fucking demeaning to have someone apparently in the very comfortable position to give charitably to all comers condescend to you when you are not in the position to give to anyone, but still do, just with some discernment attached re: 'this request seems credible, this request seems sketchy'.

Rinel · Nov 25, 2019, 10:48 PM

@Admiral said in RL Anger:

The ones who approach you and ask for food/money are junkies or scammers, for the most part. You're just enabling bad habits or a toxic lifestyle.

This is what I mean when I talk about people writing off addiction. It's not a bad habit; it's a serious disease that kills people.

Would I prefer that my state focus on harm reduction by implementing enormous structural reform? Yes. But I'm also okay with giving someone some funds so they can go shoot up now instead of ODing and dying alone under an overpass because they went overboard after going into withdrawal.

wahoo · Nov 25, 2019, 10:53 PM

@surreality What are you talking about?

Auspice · Nov 25, 2019, 10:53 PM

tbh maybe it's terrible and horrible and people will block me and hate me for this

but I just want the guys who hang out at my bus stop and harass me and shout at me to stop and go away

I hate feeling uncomfortable and leered at and harassed while I'm just waiting for the bus so I can go home

Rinel · Nov 25, 2019, 10:55 PM

@Auspice

Your safety comes well before any duty you may have to give to homeless people. I still look like a six foot tall guy in his twenties; I have the privilege of not being accosted, for now.

surreality · Nov 25, 2019, 10:58 PM

@wahoo Take a look in the mirror, please. Seriously. You talk about how it's demeaning to accept certain kinds of help? That's condescending as fuck. Sorry, but no. You're spitting on good actions by good actors and for all your own good intentions, that's insulting as fuck.

No one here is trying to micromanage someone's food and sneer down at their food choices; they are trying to help in the way someone specifically describes needing help, and you are nit-picking at the helper for not doing it in your preferred manner.

Seriously. This is a 'get the fuck over yourself' moment, goddamn.

People taking shitty attitudes like this turn more people off to giving than any panhandler ever fucking did.

TNP · Nov 25, 2019, 10:58 PM

Not really going to wade into the topic wholesale but did want to point something out...

@Derp, you're smart. You are, in fact, very smart. You are also educated. Not everyone is one or both of those things and that makes a huge difference.

wahoo · Nov 25, 2019, 10:59 PM

I'd rather give an addict money than learn that he or she committed a crime to get that money and those drugs.

@surreality what. are you. talking about?

surreality · Nov 25, 2019, 10:59 PM

@wahoo Feign ignorance all you want; you can follow a quote chain like any other poster here.

Your heart bleeds Niagra Falls, we get it.

Sunny · Nov 25, 2019, 11:02 PM

@wahoo

I think she took your post as criticism of the giving instead of you explaining why someone might decline even if they are truly hungry.

surreality · Nov 25, 2019, 11:03 PM

@Sunny ^ That.

Sunny · Nov 25, 2019, 11:11 PM

@surreality

Yeah. I took it as explanation of why objection, and if that is what she meant, I can understand exactly why she was confused.

ETA: I had to struggle to get to my correct boiling down.