@Sunny said in The Apology Thread:
But seriously, while I recognize that others have different approaches, I can't quite wrap my brain around it all the same. Why would anyone spend so much time with people that they aren't friends with? It's a foreign mindset to me.
A friend is someone I can rely on. By definition I can't - won't - rely on you guys even for things that are game-related let alone more serious stuff. I don't see that as diminishing the role as to differentiate it, to set boundaries for both your protection and my own.
There are folks online I confide in which is important to me. But I know, and I hope it's known as well, that things happen and they're completely forgivable in ways I wouldn't have forgiven in real life. For example solidarity and accountability matters to me a great deal in real life but far less so online; I've had people I really like flake out on me on characters we were playing together and I didn't hold it against them. In contrast to that I've had a childhood friend I had stood by when his life wasn't going so great who ghosted me completely when my own took a health-related downward turn, and I'll never look at him the same way again. An unreliable friend is not really one but online I consider everyone to be unreliable, if that makes sense.
Basically it's my expectations which are different because what unites and brings us together is a mutual sense of having fun, not a mutual showing of support. I really don't expect that much from y'all; don't be crazy, show up once in a while while I'm around and as long as we're having fun then it'll all work out splendidly. If you disappear on me it's not a big deal - our paths might cross again, it's a small world, and it's not like if we really miss playing together we don't have MSB to track each other down and go 'hey, wanna do something? where are you playing these days?'.
But although that kind of friendship is important I will return what I'm given, too. If I suggest playing together a few times and you decline but don't reciprocate later on I'll take the hint and not ask again. No harm done or insult taken but I'll share my time online with people who like spending theirs hanging out with me. I think that's fair.