Best posts made by Auspice

Tis the season

and I know y'all want a unicorn shower head.

I guess I left my car unlocked after chores on the weekend. Someone went through my shit.

But what they took is so goddamn stupid. They took my pens. My chapstick (who steals chapstick?!?!). A pair of $12 Bluetooth headphones (but not the better pair in the pocket of the passenger seat I use when hiking).

And the case my owner's manual and registration are in.

I'm mostly upset about the last since it's the one that's most difficult to replace.

I know it was a kid because they left behind a whole book of stamps as well. And a young kid at that because my flask was moved and is still full of whiskey.

Just...goddamnit. Stupid start to the week.

@hedgehog
Gosh give us more than a couple hours to reply.

The Shondes - Nothing More Whole Than a Broken Heart

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Every year, one of the highlights of the holiday season for me is the yearly DJ Earworm mashup.
It dropped today and this year.... it's a Decade of Pop mix

@Jeshin said in The Work Thread:

@Auspice

A lot of jobs have that little disclaimer line "You will be expected to stand for long periods of time and be required to lift and carry things" there needs to be a "You will be expected to read the documentation and ask for additional training if necessary"

for real.

Like, we have a guy in the scrimmage who began the job a week before.

Everyone else got roughly 12 hours of workshops to train them in the tool. She was in this, for example.

This guy? A 45 minute tl;dr.

He's come back to us with a few questions, some needs for clarifications in the training. But for the most part? He has hit the ground running. Pro.

Like, people have absolutely had points that need clarification. Places where language was unclear. Places where they'd like a bit more detail, etc.

She wants every last detail.

She doesn't want: 'Write an essay between 300 and 500 words about your favorite wolf and deliver it by 8pm, Friday.'
She wants: 'Using a ball-point pen with a removable cap (not a click-pen), write an essay on college-ruled paper and deliver it by 8pm CST, Friday the 22nd of November. To use the pen, first remove the cap. To write, place the pointed end to the paper. The essay must be precisely 325 words long and it must be about timber wolves. It has to have no more than....'

Like, everyone else would understand the first: cool, you don't care what format it's in, so long as it's done. Or they'd understand: I need to reference previous metrics re: essays.

She wants 99% of the work done for her ahead of time.

@Aria said in RL things I love:

I bowled a 115!

This... is not a very good score, but I've never broken 100 before. I'm excited. Just let me have this.

I did a bowling league for a while. I started out p bad, but by the end of it I was doing p good! Enjoy it!

I don't care how many gifs you make @Tinuviel, Pepsi and bourbon do not go together..

Yesterday at work, my coworker was repairing his headphones with tape. Puts them on, looks at me and other coworker: "Does this make me look like a nerd?"

In unison-
Me:"You mean you didn't already?"
Other coworker:"You just look like <his own name.>"

He cracked up, goes: "Ouch. Well. If I set you up like that, you'd better knock it out of the park!"

...now, four months ago, when I started? I would not have been remotely comfortable making that joke. I didn't know him very well. I didn't know the dynamics around here.

This goes for raunchy humor, for teasing people, etc. And it's taken me a long time to learn that re: teasing people tbh. I do it often out of nerves or wanting to fit in but I always struggle to find the right tone. (Anxiety meds have helped with that!) People who launch directly into it the instant they meet you feel weird and uncomfortable because it is weird and uncomfortable. I'd like to think I've been good at, in the past, taking the note of 'that went too far,' but I dunno. I do know I try to reserve the more lewd jokes for the right people fo sho.

Like all of you. Every one of you.

@Ganymede said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

@Auspice said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

are you a robot cat or a trash panda make up your mind woman

can't i be both like aubrey plaza

no
no one can be her
I only have room in my heart for one of her

@Coin said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

@Auspice said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

@Ganymede said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

@Auspice said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

are you a robot cat or a trash panda make up your mind woman

can't i be both like aubrey plaza

no
no one can be her
I only have room in my heart for one of her

She's never gonna take up residency in there so you're gonna have to make do.

don't you dash my dreams.

@Ghost
Deer Tick - Card House

@Otrere
Walk the Moon - Anna Sun

Oh, so in another episode of 'Americans can't park for shit:'

Getting home tonight, I turn towards my apartment to witness a big ass truck trying (and really seeming to fail) to back into the spot next to the one I park in. He stops, nearly in the middle of the lane, and waves me by. I gesture for him to continue because I'd like my spot tyvm.

He leans out his window and starts frantically waving for me to go by.

Fine.

Whatever.

So I swing around and neatly park in my usual spot.

...realizing his error and how much more difficult he just invited me to make his attempt to park, he pulled away and went to park elsewhere.

@DareDaemon said in Potent Potables:

and bourbon instead of anything worth drinking.

@hedgehog said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

You know what helps my fibro? Weed. Kratom. Actual opioids when and if I ever obtain them.

Yeeeeep.
I partake of weed (I'd say 'smoke' except I prefer edibles and the like when I can get them) because of what it does for the pain.

Opioids sadly don't even help me much thanks to genetics (I've got that thing where I'm highly resistant to them). I am desperate for full legalization.

@Jaded said in Good TV:

The total costs of my streaming services now equal a cable bill. We cut cable because that was a high cost with a lot of wasted filler. And now we're doing the same thing with streaming services for one or two shows off each service.

I thought that competition in the market might push some of the prices down but they're ticking upwards in some cases. This is more than mildly frustrating.

That's been an issue a lot of people are complaining about, yeah.
As more companies split off from Hulu or Netflix to make their own, it's only getting worse. It's stupid. People are looking at going BACK to cable with DVR.

@Ghost said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

The only MU'ers I ever truly hung out with in person involved a hotel party where it was a ton of rum and coke, cards against humanity, and then my SO and I hooked up in our room, which the MU person littered with rose petals and a dreamy picture of Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Figured 1 and done. No more. Never again. I'll call it ending on a high note.

Sounds like they set a high bar.

@mietze said in Why We Don't Make New Friends Anymore (Or Creepers Do Creepy Things):

Yeah, sorry for spelling error. I do really love feeding people, but not usually that way.

We know what that copy of To Serve Man really is.

@Tinuviel said in The Weirdest Thing I Ever Purposefully Did on the Internet:

@Auspice The number of times I've had to self-explain my search history as "I'm a writer" or "I'm a teacher" astounds me.

Right? Like, 'weird' to me isn't 'I researched what a shotgun wound looks like' because whatever I do that sort of thing all the time because writer.

But in-depth research into a state's tax records is a little weird even by my standards because it's not my usual type of writing.

@Derp said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

I am grumpy. Short check and lots of bills means that I can pretty much afford to make one grownup thing this week -- pasta aglio e olio. Which is really just a fancy name for something dead simple. Pasta, olive oil, garlic, red pepper flakes, parsley, salt, pepper, lemon juice. Easy.

On the upside, it is delicious.

On the downside, it sits in my stomach like a lead ball.

I rarely make pasta, but it's dirt cheap, and while rocking a whopping $3.27 in my bank account, that's gonna be about the only option.

Ugh. Friday cannot come fast enough.

https://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/pasta-al-limone

This is my go-to at those times. It's still pasta, but it's super delicious and a bit lighter than most.
But I know that feel and I'm sorry