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    Best posts made by Auspice

    • RE: RL things I love

      So the stitching group I was a part of sort of blew up.

      Well, it didn't, but I left it. I wasn't the only one. A sort of core group (a clique, as you may say) had formed. And the leader of the group was a part of it. This clique was allowed to behave in terrible ways. They treated me poorly. They treated others poorly. And no one was allowed to speak out against them.

      The clique type behavior we sometimes complain about here? It was in full display, so I walked. The final straw for me was when one of the members made a transphobic joke (to someone who is openly genderfluid) and when called out, pulled the 'lol it's okay I'm gay' card. But he's part of the clique. And the woman running the group just shrugged and went 'He is LGBT so it's cool.' NEWP. Transphobic jokes are NEVER OK.

      So I left. I just stopped interacting.

      But, Auspice, you might be wondering: this is the RL Things I love thread.
      Why yes, it is!

      Today, someone from that group reached out to me. Someone I still liked, but I wasn't sure WHO? was still OK and who wasn't. I usually just (such as with games) cut my ties and go. But she reached out to say she'd missed me, asked how I was doing. Come to find out the same issues (including that particular 'joke') had bothered her and she was planning to start her own group, particularly for steotch (which is starting early this year to specifically be a low-key, more casual event), and she'd really like me to be a part of it.

      It was something really nice, uplifting, and encouraging to hear. Not only am I glad other people see and are aware of that toxic behavior for what it is... it felt nice to have someone reach out to me and want to involve me in something that's going to be better.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: If you work hard, son, maybe someday you'll RP

      @ZombieGenesis said in If you work hard, son, maybe someday you'll RP:

      I'll say this, Ares does make it easier for me. I can't always sit down and RP for 3 or 4 hours. Being able to start a scene and pose when I'm able has worked wonders for getting me back into things.

      I do wish more people would embrace this. Many of us have and it's lovely, but there's still a lot of people in the 'If I can't do it live, it doesn't work' camp.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: The Crafting Thread

      alt text

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Tips for not wearing out your welcome

      If I had a dollar for every time someone thought telling me calm down would solve an anxiety attack I'd have no debt to speak of.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • Productive Self Care

      So, I've hit a spike lately of depression and stress. Like, the 'don't get out of bed until 4pm' kind. And while I take those small steps to do what I can manage to tend to myself, I thought I'd share what's worked for me and maybe others can provide things that work for them. Because I know I'm far from the only person in this spot right now.

      This isn't the 'justgirlythings' Tumblr of 'go out shopping!' self care. It's the kind that's intended to keep you healthy, make sure you're taking care of yourself, but at the speed you can manage.

      One of the things that happens when I'm depressed is I stop eating. But, in the interests of productive self-care: I prep food for when I can eat. Today, for example, I've made caramelized onions (that will have a variety of uses) and cooked a pot of rice (that I could eat alone, make fried rice, make rice pudding, etc). It was easy, got me moving around, was productive... but didn't force me to eat food I couldn't stomach.

      When I can't manage showering (we've all been there), I sometimes just stand in the shower. It's at least something and the hot water is soothing. Usually by the end of it, I find myself washing my hair. I don't always comb it later, but I can at least say I washed it.

      So those are the two I can provide: prepping easy foods for when I can eat and at least getting in the shower.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Diversity Representation in MU*ing

      She's mad because they're out of skinny margaritas.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves)

      https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2013/04/adhd-is-different-for-women/381158/

      "In “The Secret Lives of Girls with ADHD,” published in the December 2012 issue of Attention, Dr. Littman investigates the emotional cost of high-IQ girls with ADHD, particularly for those undiagnosed. Confused and ashamed by their struggles, girls will internalize their inability to meet social expectations. Sari Solden, a therapist and author of Women and Attention Deficit Disorder, says, “For a long time, these girls see their trouble prioritizing, organizing, coordinating, and paying attention as character flaws. No one told them it's neurobiological.”"

      For a lot of us, much of our anxiety, depression, etc. can be attributed to the ADHD. Because I can sympathize with a lot of that, @RightMeow. I'm sure others can, too. I was smart, but I didn't apply myself. I was lazy. I was disrespectful. I was acting out. I was...

      As an adult, I've had these structures. Lists. Reminders. Alarms. This constant effort to hold everything together. But when one piece fails, the whole structure falls apart. Like I'm sick right now. I can't keep up with cleaning my apartment. And all it's doing is making me feel like a massive failure. I know I'm not, I mean, a) it's still not that much of a mess all things considered (if I went to a friend's house and it looked like mine does rn, I wouldn't bat an eye), b) I'm sick, it's to be expected that I can only handle minor things.

      But this is... what ADHD is for women. Because everything we (at least those of us born before 2000 roughly) know about it is based on white boys under the age of 10.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Diversity Representation in MU*ing

      Don't worry, we ruin our own food.

      One of the things you can find in the south (the southeast is 'the south' for any of our non Americans) is (fried) chicken and waffles. The two are delicious together, I promise. One requirement is that the chicken be boneless. Best are large tenders: you can wrap the waffle around it and dunk it in the syrup.

      I went to a place on the west coast once and having been away from the southeast for a long time, decided to try the chicken and waffles. I mean, c'mon. How can you fuck up something so basi- they fucked up something so basic. A goddamn fried chicken wing on top of a waffle. And no syrup on the side, just covered on the whole thing. And it's like, you can't eat this with a fork, no, you have to use your hands, which means picking apart a sticky piece of chicken to eat, then eating the waffle separately (or I guess pulling off pieces of chicken to eat on the waffle and little tiny bits of chicken + waffle STILL isn't the same).

      So yeah.
      We fuck up our own food.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Covid-19 Gallows Humor

      alt text

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      alt text

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Euphoria - Feedback

      So a couple thoughts as I've seen the thread:

      You are doing a lot at once. I know @Paradox commented this to me when I mentioned the Xayians showing up. He felt you'd gone too soon (he and I talk game theory a LOT) and was surprised. The scene was fun and well-done! But I do agree it could've been held off longer. Am I excited to see the Xayians and learn about them? Hell yeah. But it IS yet-another-new-thing for incoming people to learn and I think that may be hurting things a bit also, potentially. You wanna ramp stuff up.

      I get the want to DO THINGS. You're excited! There's plot! You want to share it with people! I 100% get it. But roll it out slowly.

      I'd say do just 1-2 BIG events a month and if you and NGC are up to running moar stuff, do more domestic stuff mid-week. The mystery in the farm is a good example.

      Also: nix the PC Department Heads altogether. IMO. People DO idle out in those roles, it's true. And putting requirements on them ('run scenes' or 'hit these activity requirements') doesn't help. Either no one apps or they do and they don't meet the requirements, hoping they'll be Special and Cool Enough you won't care. PC Department Heads aren't necessary. @faraday ran BSU with a relatively 'flat' structure for PCs so that everyone could have turns running missions, but no one was TEH MAN IN CHARGE and y'know what? It worked. Nothing ever got bottlenecked because Bob the CAG wasn't on. No one ever felt stymied because they didn't get along with Sue the marine Captain.

      The game is small enough right now, you can NPC the Department Heads and have PCs be their assistants, then have 1-3 assistants per so that there's variety, no issue if people idle/idle out, etc., and they can still have a sense of responsibility.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.

      @Aria said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

      @JinShei said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:

      @Tinuviel I literally could do this!

      Coming to you now from Estate Road 2, where three families have converged on the side of the street to have a barbeque and let their children play on a bouncy castle, despite the perils of COVID-19. Today, on the JinShei Show, we ask, do people really dislike their kids and friends this much? Should we just let them all catch this and die?

      I mean, this absolutely horrible to admit and, like, probably the 837th reason I'm going to hell....

      But every now and then, I look at someone doing something really, really obviously stupid that they have publicly, loudly, repeatedly been warned against re: COVID and I think to myself, "....Maybe this one is actually doing us all a favor and we just don't realize it yet."

      Then I remember everyone else they're putting at risk and get pissed off again.

      My sister, ladies and gentlemen.

      Spent the first couple months being smart, being super vocally 'OMG FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES' ... and then, like you might expect someone who turned 21 at the start of the year, she got bored. She began going on road trips to the beach. She began going to bars (and complaining when said bars got shut down for overcrowding). etc... etc... etc...

      Now her Twitter feed is a mix of her complaining about having covid and complaining about people not following guidelines and just a week ago her Twitter/Insta was photos of her and a dozen other people in close quarters at the beach.

      😐

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: MU Things I Love

      I've been mulling the past couple days over what it is that I really like about Euphoria. I mean, I enjoy the theme, but there's been something else. Some reason that's caused me to nudge at friends that they should check it out when they have the time/energy.

      It's the buy-in.

      So often these days it feels like RP exists in a vacuum. Your pose is only acknowledged so long as it pertains to / aids / assists someone else and if a Staff NPC / metaplot event is present, you may as well forget about 'existing.' I know I've absolutely (on Arx this happens in almost every big scene I go to) spent entire scenes where 90% of my poses are to... myself. I had a scene on another game recently where I went to a public event, roughly 8 people. I posed in, someone acknowledged me! Gasp! And then a friend of theirs showed up and they never responded back to anything else (leaving a thread of conversation dangling, even).

      But on Euphoria, there's buy-in. People will engage with you. People will pick up threads you didn't even expect and run with them. In an event scene, while trying to explain a concept, my character made a comment about 'You know how everyone sucks their stomach in...' and it was just sort of a flippant, silly way of explaining the idea. Another PC in the scene posed sucking their stomach in, considering it, deciding they were OK with their body, but experiencing that moment of self-doubt and oh gosh, that tickled me. It was a cute, funny pose and I felt flattered that my pose had been read.

      So yeah, the engagement. I really, really dig the engagement and buy-in from the active players.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: RL things I love

      I'm not sure if this has been said here before, but one of the perks to wearing a mask is I haven't had anyone tell me 'you should smile' in months.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Tips on Güd TS

      Now! On to some of my own personal tips. These are specifically in the arena of mutual (hurr hurr) roleplay. The articles above are great for writing sex in general, but what about when someone is on the other side of the keyboard?

      Firstly, the advice to not be overly descriptive persists. I once had a guy page me (our characters were not in a relationship and we had never OOCly discussed such things) to inform me that he had rolled dice to dictate his character's dick size and the dice had 'decided' that his dick was the length and girth of two soda cans stacked on each other.

      Shall we break down the 'NO's here?

      1. Unsolicited sexual advances suck IRL and they suck online. There's flirting and there's just being outright crass. Being crass is not going to lead to anything.

      2. No real (ETA: by real I mean 'realistic and not the type portrayed in porn') woman is going to be turned on by that. Nor interested beyond the clinical 'this should be a museum piece' aspect. That size of a penis is horrifying and I cross my legs just thinking about it.

      3. There is never, ever a need to describe a character's genitalia in explicit detail. Women don't go on long diatribes on comparing the size of their breasts to canteloupe and how their areola are the size of half-dollars and the hue of pink roses while their nipples are pert like erasers (wink wink to the folks that read the first article linked above).

      Vague is good. Vague is good because it lets the reader fill things in. I once had someone describe that character descriptions should be like a woman's skirt: long enough to cover everything, short enough to be interesting (aka leave something to the imagination). Use the same concept in your TS. Imply, be concise, be accurate, but don't be overly/overtly descriptive. Allow your partner to build the scene in their mind without being bogged down by details.

      Secondly, don't take forever. This is more directed towards people who play male characters. They've done studies and found that the 'sweet spot' for the actual intercourse part of sex is around the five-to-six minute mark. Pop culture may have some of you going 'Is that it?!', but as a woman: that's perfect. Too much longer and you start to get bored or worry about friction. The number of women who can achieve orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone are very, very few. And the number that can do so every time is even smaller. That's not to say it isn't fun and a fulfilling part of the whole process, but the biologically male get a whole lot more out of it (I have been the awkward third wheel in an argument between a gay couple in which one got fed up with always being bottom).

      Think about those combat scenes that just drag out for hours. Or that feeling when it looks like yet another night of RPing socially in the bar. After a while, you start to wonder how many times you can pose the same sort of thing. This goes for TS scenes, too. I can only pose squirming and moaning and raking nails down a back so many times before I'm cooking dinner between poses. And no, I'm not kidding. I have most definitely cooked dinner while TSing before.

      Some of my best TS has been over in a handful of rounds. The action was well-written, summarized, and the focus on the characters and not the dirty act of it. When I play a male character, I try to keep things concise and involve the woman, too.

      Which leads into point three. Seriously, stop ignoring the woman. Don't get to the 'prize' and just forget about the rest of her. Not only is it going to totally ruin the 'oh we're so happily in love' aspect, but it means she has even less to pose to. And no, spending a single pose in going down on her doesn't count. Describe how your character grabs her hair. The way their hands smooth over her breast or hip. The way your character arches their back and positions themselves to reach her clit. We all hate when we have nothing to 'work with' for our own poses, so keep that in mind. Yes, even when you have just one hand on your keyboard.

      You can make things so much richer by making sure your partner has the opportunity to be fully engaged. This means, too, if you're pleasuring yourself IRL... Wrap up the TS once you 'finish.' The other person can tell, I promise. If it goes from vividly-written scenes of lust to bland play-by-play, we know.

      These are just a few of my personal thoughts. I welcome others to chime in. Like I said in the first post, try to keep things relatively chill. I know this is MSB, but man if we can make people better TSers by giving genuine answers to their questions, won't the world be a better place? 😄

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves)

      @Wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

      c3589219-72ac-4757-bc95-3295115bdbf3-image.png

      100% me

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Tips on Güd TS

      Something else to consider is communication. Much like you might discuss what you are/aren't into with an RL partner, consider doing so with your RP partner.

      I am all about realism and schism in my IC relationships. I am known to enjoy 'torturing' my characters. I put them in bad situations. I let them fuck up. So when it comes to IC relationships and TS, I often do the same.

      It might be something as small as my character doesn't 'get off' during sex. Or something as major as them getting way too drunk while depressed and sleeping with someone else.

      The last time I did the latter, I was up front OOCly with all parties involved. I made sure there was an OOC understanding that it was for plot and RP fodder, that anyone could throw down the red flag, and I was up to talking over it at any time. It turned out to be some amazing RP in the end and no one had hurt feelings (OOCly).

      But imagine if you want the IC dramz, but your RP partner doesn't? Some people do RP for the wish fulfillment and there's nothing wrong with that. Your fun is your fun (unless it involves being a dick to someone else on an OOC level). A lot of the issues I've seen arise from IC relationships and TS are people not being on the same page.

      Just like the current US election... We're all in this together. But unlike the current US election, we can sit down and have honest, candid conversations that find a solution for every one. Yes, that solution might be 'Maybe we shouldn't allow our characters to be in a relationship. I want grit and drama, you want happy family,' but isn't that so much better to know up front than to encounter difficult, upsetting OOC drama?

      Disclaimer: I took a couple norcos a bit ago for some hip pain, so I apologize if any parts of this don't make sense.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: RL things I love

      I had an interview this week. I wish I had more, but... with TX doing so badly, companies are back to not hiring. I've expanded my search to the Phoenix area since I have a few friends pestering me to move out that way, but it's in a similar spot. Plus, the sort of work I do is gonna be one of the last careers to fully recover.

      But! This is the RL things I love thread:

      I love video interviews. I can dress comfortably... So long as I do my hair, wear a nice shirt, some jewelry... I'm good! I can just go light on the makeup, wear yoga pants, and that's that. I can have notes on another screen (I use my laptop since it has a webcam built-in) to reference, their company website open, the job description open, etc... But most of all? I don't need to deal with the anxiety of trying to look someone in the eye.

      Taking that anxiety away has allowed me to be so much more comfortable in interviews. I've only had a couple in the past six months (for obvious reasons), but I have felt immensely less anxiety in them.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: Fanbase entitlement

      The utter hatred and vitriol towards game developers just gets me these days.

      No Man's Sky is an example. Apparently, Hello Games should be ashamed of itself and APOLOGIZE because the game doesn't exactly match the VERY FIRST TRAILER they showed a few years ago.

      Not, 'This was a trailer of what their intended goal with the game is' (which has been common for freaking ever), but 'They should be ashamed and refund everyone because THEY LIED'

      No Man's Sky never, ever made itself out to be an MMO, except because the multiplayer stuff isn't 100% totally implemented and totally like EVE... 'they failed.' There's people insisting that it would take 'one programmer just a week' to implement full multiplayer ability.

      ...if it was just kids (like, the under-18 crowd) doing this, that'd be one thing. But I know people who were entirely around for the Daikatana bullshit whining the same refrain.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves)

      @faraday
      Well, it's not just self-assessment. My being OCD and on the spectrum are two things that are diagnosed.

      My OCD was diagnosed back when I was a teenager. The being on the spectrum just a few years ago when I was in therapy and my therapist picked up on it and wanted to explore it more.

      I do think they all have overlap and all sort of....get in bed with one another as it were but it is a whole thing for sure.

      @Macha you are def not alone. I have nothing to hook my thing about people being behind me to. I just can't do it. I'm someone super finicky about going out with. I can't ride in the back seat for longer than 20 ish minutes or I get car sick (since a surgery I had a handful of years ago). I can't sit where people can walk behind me (or else I'll be standing up and moving and pacing about). And I can't sit on the inside of a booth because the sense of being trapped triggers my claustrophobia. I am terrible for group outings.

      posted in Tastes Less Game'y
      Auspice
      Auspice
    • RE: MU Things I Love

      I just amused myself for about 15 minutes by plotting out how I'd use FS3 for a Pern game.

      And I had giggles over the vehicle code being 'dragons' instead.

      posted in Mildly Constructive
      Auspice
      Auspice
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