I'd like to try to articulate something that has been on my mind for a while regarding how we treat female characters in RP games.
When we meet a new RP partner, we are lowkey looking for ways to judge that RPer and work out if they are worth hanging around. Are they an OK writer? Are they interested in the same kind of RP that you are? What about their character's design? Does their character have some kind of motivation that makes sense? Does their personality make them interesting? And if their character is female... are they too pretty?
I can't be the only person who has noticed that having a pretty character counts for negative points. We as a hobby... kind of hate women who want to be pretty. I can't count the number of times that a new character has walked into the scene and one of my friends has OOCly referred to that character as a whore because she is described as being willowy and slender with cerulean eyes and perfect lips or whatever. I can't deny that I've felt this same sort of knee-jerk reaction.
People take you a lot less seriously when you are playing a beautiful character. You're assumed (in a very derogatory manner) to be a vapid sex character. A larger proportion of people just don't bother to interact with you, I suspect because they aren't interested in cybersex and assume that's the only kind of RP that you have to offer.
I've played with some pretty fucked up communities. I once played a game where the admins overnight decided to retcon the majority of female roles to be obese and/or elderly. The attitude was very much that if you then didn't want to play them anymore, that just proves how shallow and vapid you are. It couldn't be because you were irked by the obvious targeted mocking. My characters were murdered a lot on this game. I left as soon as I figured out that I wasn't doing something wrong to deserve this. I was just playing attractive or young female characters in an openly misogynistic community.
Here's the thing though.
From birth, women are brutally indoctrinated to tie in our own self-worth with our physical attractiveness. We are given dolls as childhood toys. Our cartoons feature physically perfect role models who are mainly preoccupied with their own appearance. Our parents, grandparents, uncles and aunties tell us to alter our behaviour, appearance and weight based purely on whether it's what "boys like". Because if you're not beautiful, you're worthless. Some of us manage to decouple attractiveness from our self-worth and find fulfilment in other things. Others will struggle with it for a lifetime.
With all this in mind, is it really surprising to anyone that many women have RP power fantasies that involve being pretty? Why do we have so much disrespect for the stereotypically feminine desire to be pretty, while respecting more stereotypically masculine power fantasies, such as being capable combatants or owning ridiculous and cool weaponry? I don't think that's fair at all.
I think it's time to recognise that playing Igorette the hunchback doesn't make you automatically more serious and intelligent than playing Isabella the princess. I'm here to defend people's right to play pretty characters without having nasty and misogynistic assumptions made about them.
To decriminalise pretty.