Posts made by Tapewyrm

Hello. Not sure if this is the right place for this, but, if anyone used to play on Elendor, then please drop me a line.

I'm thinking this includes @BetterJudgment, @Tinuviel and @Arkandel ?

@Ganymede said in Stranger Danger?:

I thought I had made friends over my past 25+ years of doing this, but I misjudged how firm many of those friendships were.

That's been a rollercoaster I've ridden too of late. Some friendships were indeed firm, but others were far less than I hoped.

Personally I just RP about the things I want to wrote stories about, and don't RP the things I'm not that into. I rarely play IC relationships with others, unless they're my actual RL partner, since I like to save that side of myself for that person, and it saves on drama.

@Tapewyrm Well, all I can say is if anyone here enjoys Tolkien and wants to try to RP again, let me know. Thankfully the game I played on is relatively unknown to these boards (or at least back in the day), so there's a high chance that none of the traditional PHBs will find it.

At least, I hope!

@Ghost That's very disheartening to hear. I was hoping time would have had the opposite effect, and that the hobby at large would have just finally stopped tolerating the PHB behavior. Sounds like the wrong team lost.

@Ghost said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

You folks are way too paranoid. I'm literally just asking if you're anti-male douchebags.

Hah well, let me give you another unfiltered response on this.

I don't think anyone here is an "anti-male douchebag". I think Derp and Rei have been focusing more on just getting people to knock it off with the personal attacks. In the last few years "____________ is a misogynist" has been a regular, go-to attack for a number of people to smear a reputation, and you're probably 100% right that there hasn't been enough pushback against the people who use regularly use that tactic as an easily-followed way to get others to dogpile on their target.

That's... a large part of where I'm coming from, yes. It's extraordinarily easy to dismiss arguments and people under this guise, and typically such crowds don't tolerate any criticism in the other (gendered) direction. So for me, I draw a large correlation between the two, and hence me asking right from the get-go.

So for here (MSB), I think it's more about stopping the attack (regardless of the method, without overall gender bias) whereas on the other forum you're welcome to ask them about sexism and if they're "anti-male douchebags" and see how well that goes for ya.

I'm good. If, as you say, that's where the crazy went to live, I'm okay with leaving them to it. I did find a thread or two about active games there, so it wasn't a total loss checking it out.

@Ghost That makes a lot of sense, and yeah, I wandered away a log time ago from WORA because I felt it was just (by that point) a place for nastiness and never ending drama. So, I can understand things going down the way you describe.

Sad to hear about the hobby in general though. I took about 10 years off and recently came back to an old game I knew, only to find it dead, and my attempts to revive it have meant waking up some of its own PHBs (lol I had to think about that for a sec to get the reference).

Is there any hope at all that the level-headed peeps could come back to the hobby, if they found places to play which don't carry the ugliness of the past with them?

@Misadventure Thank you

@Macha I mean, the multiple references to whatever culling or banning of people/boards took place are littered throughout the threads I perused.

Look, I get that Something Happened. I honestly don't care about whatever it was, and yes, if the Hog Pit or whatever was anything like old WORA, then it probably is better to have closed down a sinkhole of unpleasantness.

I really just came looking to find where all the people are these days. That's as far as this rabbit hole goes.

@Ghost said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

Exactamundo. That's why I'm essentially asking you if you are sexist against men, as part of my assessment of this environment.

Alright, let's be constructive, here.

You're (allegedly) an old personality from WORA, having just made an account, and have all of these very specific questions regarding conduct and sexism of all things being asked in the air of "do you follow your own rules?".

No, I asked a very specific question about whether or not the reference to toxic femininity was pounced upon with such vigor because of sexism. In fact, scrolling back, it is remarkably clear how specific my question was.

Now, it's possible that you're simply some long-lost 3rd party WORA-ite suddenly (out of nowhere) walking in for a "spot assessment of the environment", but I'm assuming it's far more likely that this is related to some kind of pre-loaded Q&A routine.

LOL what? No, I just browsed Thenoman's profile, saw something posted in some thread, read the thread a little bit, and asked my question.

So why don't you stop asking these questions and start asking the ones you plan to ask 3 or 4 questions down the line,

I already did. Are you guys sexist against men around here? Because I find a lot of internet spaces these days are sadly dominated by problematic ideology, and I'd rather know now before I find out later. Thus far, the answer to this question has been evaded.

or stop assessing the environment and explain why after all of these years the sudden interest in MSB and their policies requires this thorough an analysis?

Because I literally just walked through the door like 2 days ago.

I don't want to come across as unfriendly, but I've been in this hobby way too long to believe this is some kind of random, completely organic interest in the forum's policies on sexism. And if this IS somehow some sudden random person's desire to assess the policies of this forum, why this forum?

Because I came looking to see what had become of WORA, and/or the hobby. Reddit pointed me to this forum.

You folks are way too paranoid. I'm literally just asking if you're anti-male douchebags.

If you're not then the inquiry ends here. That's literally all, folks.

@Derp I hope that's genuinely the case. It's a little concerning to me that the answer couldn't simply have been: "Yes".

Ah well. I have a total of, like 4 hours invested in this, so far!

@Derp said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@reimesu

I concur with Reimesu. Such topics are charged enough that they really serve no constructive purpose on a gaming forum.

But you're okay with someone saying mansplaining? Understand, it's the potential gendered hypocrisy I'm investigating, here. I don't like sexism.

it comes across as myopic and a bit socially tone deaf.

I don't know what that means other than to suggest you feel that asking whether or not masculinity and femininity are both capable of being toxic is somehow socially inappropriate?

Either way, this simply isn’t the place for it. We’re willing to deal with fewer participants to have healthier discussions. There are alternative environments for other tastes.

Exactamundo. That's why I'm essentially asking you if you are sexist against men, as part of my assessment of this environment. I don't want to be among people who think it's okay to denigrate masculinity but won't accept any criticism of female behavior in turn. I don't want to have to listen to people whining about mansplaining, toxic masculinity, or male privilege all the time, especially as means to win an argument, as is the case I find in many online spaces. If that's not you guys, then all you had to do was say so when I specifically asked if you clamp down on gendered insults towards men.

My question was clear, and pretty mild.

But to try to answer your question— it was posted in a constructive part of the forum when we still allowed no-holds-barred discussions in other parts, which is where the not-here came in. And under the current rules of engagement, linked above, not-here includes the whole forum, for the above reasons.

Okay, that makes sense. Again, you'll notice my original question asked simply if you guys also clamp down on references to toxic masculinity too.

@reimesu said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

"Whining" about toxic masculinity or femininity really has no purpose but to start a fight"

See, that's pretty much all I was asking. Again, with my lack of context of whatever civil war I gather has taken place here, all I saw was someone being yelled at for suggesting that women can be toxic too.

Hence me asking if it would have been treated the same way if it was masculinity instead. I don't think there was much wrong with how I asked, tbh, but I can understand if there's a history of antagonism around such boards.

@faraday said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@Tapewyrm said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

But... don't do what? That's what I'm confused about.

Are you seriously trying to re-legislate a moderation call from over 5 years ago?

Um, no. I'm asking what the problem was. All I saw was "Don't do that, here of all places" and since I have precisely zero contextual knowledge of what has happened historically to prompt this reaction (plus half the participants of the discussion are now apparently banned), I asked a question.

I still haven't gotten an answer, in fact.

I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt that you're asking in good faith, but it's hard to imagine what you think will be gained from this.

What I think will be gained is I will better understand what the complaint was, since a throwaway comment that barely even registers a 0.5/10 on my personal scale of outrageous personal insults was treated as a grave social crime which had to cease immediately. Since the thread is ancient, and half the people involved seem to be banned, I figured it wasn't a big deal to bring it up.

There's nothing else going on here other than me trying to find out if this is a place where toxic masculinity is a fair topic to whine on about, but toxic femininity isn't, or if there was something else going on.

Just follow the rules of engagement and you'll be fine.

LOL from being on the internet for a very long time, that's often not a very reliable statement, especially if a community holds strong ideological views.

Whatever you're worried about, you can relax. I'm just asking what the problem was.

@Derp Cool, thanks for the info.

@Derp But... don't do what? That's what I'm confused about. Don't call people out with buzzword terms, or, only do it targeting one half of the population.

For example, in literally the very next comment, Gany tells Tyche to stop mansplaining, which could either be a sarcastic jab back, or, it could be evidence of a sexist double standard.

I get that Tyche often plays edge-lord, and to my recollection he always did, but, I'm more interested in how moderation here is justified.

Just asking, at the end of the day. I only found this thread at all because I was browsing Theno's profile and one of his most recent posts was in it.

Any games still alive out there, though? Not finding much on the MUD Connector or this Mustard thing I see linked.

First time hearing this news. Very sad, as he was indeed a great player.

RIP

@Arkandel said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@tyche said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

@wizz said in I owe a lot of people some apologies.:

I get a little tired of the dumb, brassy lynch mob attitude around here sometimes.

Toxic femininity.

What the hell man. Especially not in this forum section, not that it works in any. Come on.

Wait, is calling out toxic femininity a no-no?

Do you clamp down on people saying toxic masculinity too?

@Misadventure Gracias.