I was watching some celebrity stuff on social media and wondering why people felt the need to line up to kick someone when it was obvious that the person was breaking in a real bad way from all the negative attention. It made me wonder about online mob mentality, and naturally, games because it's my hobby.

There's this thing called 'academic mobbing' that can be freaky accurate when applied to how people behave in mud communities. A person or group focus on a target and begins a smear campaign to drive them away, making it impossible, over time, for that person to hope to defend themselves. Why? Because so much time has been spent framing that person up to be unstable, not in step with the group, or a bully when it could actually be the accusing parties that have these problems.

Some would say, the targets of that attention should stand up for themselves, or ask for help, but one person ordinarily can't handle all the negative attention alone and sometimes the people 'in charge' know full well what is happening. Leaving is in the target's best interest, but then the mob gets their way and can keep the status quo or find another target.

People shouldn't be quiet about this - or delude themselves into thinking they haven't been part of the problem with compliant silence or outright shunning. The people that initiate this behavior often have issues and project them onto others, causing harm and isolation to those they focus on.

Even if people roll their eyes and say, 'These are just games we play for fun, its not that serious." This is more of an organizational problem, which is why it is being examined in the military, universities, and corporations. In text games, because of the highly social aspect, there is an accountability for what happens in the community from the top that filters down to every member. Admins are not solely at fault for these issues and neither are players, so neither should be pointed at with accusing fingers.

As a community, we should pause if we see these described patterns and ask ourselves if we really need to get in line to kick a person 'everyone hates' when they're already virtually on the floor and bleeding. There may very well be truth to the rumors being spread about them and we should be able to warn each other of that harmful behavior, but also be aware of this group behavior as well.

Thread ISN'T is a place to air specific dirty laundry, but I would like to ask folks to discuss this if they would like. I think it can't be denied that mobbing can make our niche hobby even more niche when hobbyists leave and tell others to stay away. Are there any universal conduct rules that anyone would like or have liked seeing across the board for all text games? They can vary by the type of game and by the category. How does handling of disputes make for better social environments and which games get it right? How can we not join 'mobs' and better pinpoint the actual person(s) being an issue? What other things can we think of here?

It's been said that decorative lawn gnomes are actually redcaps employed by Home Owner's Associations. They go forth into the night, measuring the length of your grass by the centimeter and making certain that your hedges are perfectly clipped within regulations. Turn off your doorbell cameras at dusk and avoid their ire by painting your front door the appropriate shade of blue. They seek any opportunity to redden their caps and love to fill the coffers of their masters with estate sale riches.

I am one month... one MONTH away from paying off my freakin' car. I damned near cry every time I think about it. I can buy FURNITURE now. And in between that... NOT spend that money! IMAGINE!

I'm not certain that I can say that I have regrets when it comes to the hobby, but I wish that I had more fully understood the cultural differences between MUDs and MUSHes when I began hopping between the two years ago. Players just behave differently and it can drive you insane if you carry a MUSH mentality to a MUD or vice versa.

There are even the few games that are having an identity crisis and can't figure out what they want to be. Hardcoded game elements with a focus on RP and lore can be a blast IF you don't have trolls running hither and yon all over the server. Alternatively, an RP focused game with very few hardcoded combat elements can leave people at loose ends when it comes to needed real consequence for serious IG scenarios. Some games are balanced and documented enough to handle these challenges for newcomers and veterans to have fun together, others just aren't.

The main lesson I learned is that there is too much sadness in the world to make others unhappy by not being upfront with each other. I used to be hurt and confused if I people attached negativity to my words or seemed as if they didn't like me. Now I examine the conversation and wonder what caused them to take negative meaning from what was typed. People don't always agree and I don't have to assume blame for other's projected insecurities. When I MEAN to insult someone, there will be no doubt that I did, and there may even be an accompanying diagram. Otherwise, I will "Harm none".

Dabbing is not a recent cultural phenomenon, but an ancient practice meant to hide one's face from misfortune and cast it aside (perhaps towards a nearby enemy).

Dudes.... Dudes...

Last Action Hero - Drekker's Unintelligible Yelling Scene

I could get down with a scene RP'd like this. Series of unfortunate events, nuclear mayhem triggered by an oops that 'may' have been accidental on the part of a PC but totally WAS by the character, and an apoplectic chewing out that is in line with what happened and gives everyone context for how bad the 'screw up' was. Kinda hilarious if taken in good fun.

@Auspice
Whoa. That was a neat story! Though obviously fake as soon as the main character signs on that dotted line. You'd need WAY more mentioned features and LOTS of square footage in a home to put up with all that.

@Ghost

I learned that a good way to get a guy to feel pain below the belt is a gentle graze to his nuts. We used to 'play' that game in passing in the military. A sort of delicate flick with the back of your knuckle will send a man to his knees and you don't have to really make full on contact. But you should also keep walking/running because when he catches his breath, he's gonna be livid.

And haha! You're also describing movie theater seating. I was so freaking confused as to why all my guy friends were taking up like... ALL the seats in the row, spread out. I asked if I should space and they said that I was fine to sit next to one of them, but THEY had to sit apart.

I was hyper as a kid. To the point that my parents got me one of those storytelling devices that also reads aloud to you just to make me shut up. It worked SO well that I started reading EVERYTHING.

The first series I remember fully was by Tolkien, but a lot of us cut our teeth on that. Terry Brooks, yeah, Xanth, Pern, Ursula Le Guinn -- gimme more.

My uncle had a collection of comic books that was insane. He literally could not fully open his bedroom door for the boxes of carefully preserved masterpieces stored in there. He had to have had Silver Age comics in there, if not Golden because I remember turning my nose up at some of the 'old art'. I also remember him gently telling me not to touch some of them because they were valuable. The tragedy is that he got sick and his comic collection got ruined. Our family members that cleaned up threw things out without trying to see if anything was salvageable (non nerds). It makes me hang my head and clench my teeth to this day.

The internet happened, AOL chatrooms, (Red Dragon Inn holla!) message boards, gaming consoles, and here I am. Gonna be old and grey and telling my great grandkids to remember to double tap.

I've played characters in non-sex based games that were youthful appearing or that were actually around sixteen. They had been made that way so that they could grow up into their lives and adult personalities IG to make more of an organic backstory.

Most of the time this went just fine, but every once in a while you have players that make the entire experience uncomfortable. I've found that it's better to not play those characters, no matter what type of game it is or your own intentions - they draw the wrong attention from people that don't have the same intentions.

Aside - I am still boggling over someone flying up to me on Flyff years ago, asking me to be their 'owner' and to tell them naughty things for them to do to that would 'please' me. They chased me around a hunting ground on my broom until I logged off. That is NOTHING compared to some MU* stories I've got.

@bear_necessities
Reading this, then re-reading HIS response, yes. I could see that. Text is a bitch. It's because of the first sentence in his post. I took it as an accusatory attack and my heart started pounding in confusion. I apologize, @Jeshin.

@Jeshin
Is this toward me?

Edit: Nevermind. I'll answer anyway. I don't have any problem toward you or anyone else on this board. I don't think I've ever PLAYED with anyone on this board. It's, as far as I know, a general MU* forum. I posted a topic about an issue I've had and seen in text communities as a whole. My first instinct is to apologize for offending anyone, but I didn't do anything wrong.

This is not a group shaming anything. This is an actual, hey, let's all talk about this and I'm actually a bit sad that is the first response.

I was watching some celebrity stuff on social media and wondering why people felt the need to line up to kick someone when it was obvious that the person was breaking in a real bad way from all the negative attention. It made me wonder about online mob mentality, and naturally, games because it's my hobby.

There's this thing called 'academic mobbing' that can be freaky accurate when applied to how people behave in mud communities. A person or group focus on a target and begins a smear campaign to drive them away, making it impossible, over time, for that person to hope to defend themselves. Why? Because so much time has been spent framing that person up to be unstable, not in step with the group, or a bully when it could actually be the accusing parties that have these problems.

Some would say, the targets of that attention should stand up for themselves, or ask for help, but one person ordinarily can't handle all the negative attention alone and sometimes the people 'in charge' know full well what is happening. Leaving is in the target's best interest, but then the mob gets their way and can keep the status quo or find another target.

People shouldn't be quiet about this - or delude themselves into thinking they haven't been part of the problem with compliant silence or outright shunning. The people that initiate this behavior often have issues and project them onto others, causing harm and isolation to those they focus on.

Even if people roll their eyes and say, 'These are just games we play for fun, its not that serious." This is more of an organizational problem, which is why it is being examined in the military, universities, and corporations. In text games, because of the highly social aspect, there is an accountability for what happens in the community from the top that filters down to every member. Admins are not solely at fault for these issues and neither are players, so neither should be pointed at with accusing fingers.

As a community, we should pause if we see these described patterns and ask ourselves if we really need to get in line to kick a person 'everyone hates' when they're already virtually on the floor and bleeding. There may very well be truth to the rumors being spread about them and we should be able to warn each other of that harmful behavior, but also be aware of this group behavior as well.

Thread ISN'T is a place to air specific dirty laundry, but I would like to ask folks to discuss this if they would like. I think it can't be denied that mobbing can make our niche hobby even more niche when hobbyists leave and tell others to stay away. Are there any universal conduct rules that anyone would like or have liked seeing across the board for all text games? They can vary by the type of game and by the category. How does handling of disputes make for better social environments and which games get it right? How can we not join 'mobs' and better pinpoint the actual person(s) being an issue? What other things can we think of here?

Dudes.... Dudes...

Last Action Hero - Drekker's Unintelligible Yelling Scene

I could get down with a scene RP'd like this. Series of unfortunate events, nuclear mayhem triggered by an oops that 'may' have been accidental on the part of a PC but totally WAS by the character, and an apoplectic chewing out that is in line with what happened and gives everyone context for how bad the 'screw up' was. Kinda hilarious if taken in good fun.

I don't really believe in long lectures because they're not fun for me to act out. I know perfectly well that the other person at the end of the screen either made a legit mistake and needs OOC guidance OR deliberately did what they did for their character's 'story' and wants or needs a kick in the ass. Either way, I find out what happened and protect those that need protecting and issue appropriate consequences. If someone doesn't adhere to what is negotiated, they get tossed to the wolves. No one has time for that, I want to enjoy my playtime too.

On the flipside of that and what gives me twitchy flashbacks, is being someone's IG subordinate and minding my own business only to have someone or several someones DECIDE that your character is a screwup. This could come from lack of game knowledge or a general dislike of your character or you as a player. It's pretty lame because no matter what you do, it's hard to get out from under, they rarely explain fully, and they spread this narrative to everyone who will listen. When THESE people dole out consequences, you get frustrated because you are legit trying to just play the game and not deal with their borderline or overt harassment, almost to the point of avoiding them, but its not always possible.

@Auspice
I haven't been in High School in a hot minute and your saying 'last week' had me thinking, "I'm not going back and you can't make me!" Why people are into the idea of a Fountain of Youth, I have no idea. I'm gonna go pour myself a drink.

@Ganymede

I have a habit of essaying, and I was trying to change my opening to look less like a topic sentence. If I start scrolling screens, +smack me (is that a thing?) and I'll hush for a bit.

Otherwise, yeah. The rules of a game should be clear and if a person follows them, they generally won't cause or have friction. It's no different in either type of game because there would be a rule that there are no rules save for code (as you stated), or that a person has to ask before initiating code or before roleplaying something out that could be against stated policy otherwise. If that were done as a start regularly, respected and enforced I would be overjoyed.

I want to say that consent in gaming is important, but I feel like it would be almost trite or taken as a duh. I have to say, "It's important!" I can give tabletop AND MU* examples.

Tabletop: I was young and playing with a group of friends. Our GM decided that I, the female of our group, should be put in a semi-sexualized situation that required me to use electricity on someone in a not so nice way to get free. I stared at him for a full three rounds, beet red in the face with everyone else getting uncomfortable because I couldn't bring myself to stammer out the obvious solution and I was too shy to speak up for myself. So cringeworthy for everyone even the GM, who wasn't being malicious, just oblivious. Better to ask someone if they wanna play that sort of game.

I'm not going to name names or people for this MU*, because I don't bear the game ill will, I'm just really disheartened by what happened and wish it had played out differently. People can consent to adult situations like torture in the game, which I was fine with if the role played situation called for such. I don't mind playing the underdog in a given situation, especially if there is a good reason for it.

I consented to two scenes of torture with another player that was in a position of power over mine in this game. I was in contact with the GMs of the time, stating that I was confused why it was happening and that I wished that I could tell this other player that I enjoyed their playstyle, but I wished they would find someone else to 'focus on'. I was having a difficult time physically removing my character from the situation and wanted this player to either slay my character or stop making my playtimes miserable. The third time this player had their character hurt mine, no consent was asked for by them or given by me. I asked for the situation to be looked into and was told that unless my character was horrifically maimed in the incident, consent wasn't required.

I will clarify here. The third injury my character was given was the equivalent of a cigarette burn to the face. I was roleplaying with the other character in question and so surprised at what was happening that I went along with it in the moment before I realized the rule breach. I was kind of panicked and trying to explain why they shouldn't do what they were about to do ICly. It was the responsibility of the person initiating the violence of the scene to ask permission if they wanted to do it and if they had, I would have refused to roleplay it out. The end result would likely have still happened, but maybe the refusal would have gotten across that I didn't want to play that way anymore and it would have been a FTB scene. My character already had two disfiguring injuries from the other character and I was annoyed at the possibility of RP'ing a third.

The official response that I could play off a what amounts to a cigarette burn to the face and that the act is NOT a torture tactic, so the other player was in the clear made me stare at my screen in shock. I lost faith in the game that day, ended up not playing that character anymore and though I really wanted and tried to come back from it, other examples of that mindset made me give up on it overall. I wasn't a good fit.

Consent is important. Ask and ask again. Take complaints seriously. If you are antagonist or even a hero, don't go after the same person time and time again - if they are a great victim/foe, GREAT! Let them be a great victim/foe LATER unless you are actively trying to harass them away from your game. Which may have been the case for me, I dunno. I've stopped even wanting to play MU*'s seriously anymore, though I'm hoping that love comes back.