Here are some thoughts I'm having, as this thread has progressed:
1.) With regards to some of the scenarios, and the disparity between them in severity, presented by Surreality: using Persuasion in a conversation to get someone to hide contraband in their house, buy you coffee, or come down a dark alley with you, would probably all be extended rolls with variable target numbers using WoD rules. They'd vary based on a lot of factors - how you present, how well you know each other, what the characters are like, etc etc, so there's no way to create concrete numbers but there are rules that already distinguish these sorts of requests as requiring variable levels of skill/success to accomplish. Maybe it's lazy, or dubious, for us to default to the idea that you roll a social skill once and if you succeed, you succeed - maybe, anyways? This brings me to point number 2
2.) I don't think the mechanics of social skills are the issue, and I do think varying degrees of IC/OOC delineation is part of the issue. I think the issue is that people don't communicate very well on MUs, in general. When characters are in conflict, players feel they are in conflict, and so they tend to keep their distance or even sometimes get hostile. Fostering an atmosphere where players communicate openly about their conflict, and negotiate an outcome that is fun and interesting for both of them, is gonna be the real ticket, I think. If you're going to try and use a social skill to convince a character to do something awful or uncharacteristic of them, you should be able to talk to the other player about your expectations, and hear what they think. This is collaborative storytelling - why avoid collaborating? If someone is obstinate or being a bad sport, unwilling to compromise on anything, then I think you bring in staff to mediate or you step back and say that the two of you are not going to be able to RP out this sort of conflict.
PVP requires maturity and honesty and transparency, it necessitates those things, and thats with physical PVP as well as social PVP. So idk, I think if you sit down and create that foundation, and say, 'Here are some ways to approach another player about these things', 'Here are some questions you can ask', 'Here are ways you can compromise and collaborate to create meaningful RP', 'Here are things that, if you intend to do them, you need to talk to the other player about', 'Here are examples of things you simply cannot use social skills for, and use your common sense from there, please', 'If you get into IC conflict with another character and it escalates to OOC hostility, talk to a staffer immediately - your players may be enemies, but you are both players on the same team, trying to create the same thing, even if you have different visions of the outcome'. At some point, things can't be totally negotiated. You won't always have a player willing to take the L, of course, often both players will want to win, and of course their characters will. So it becomes about hashing out how to create an environment where both can reach for success, and the one with the better stats takes the gold. 'I'm going to roll this to try and make this happen, what do you think?' 'I would be able to resist with this or this, I think, do you think it's reasonable for me to get a bonus because of X reason? I also have Y merit!' 'That sounds good!' If players can't conduct themselves like that, or agree on a target number that's appropriate for an extended roll (as mentioned above) or agree on the particulars of the Doors system, have it be part of the game atmosphere that they can grab a staffer to mediate those particulars. This brings me to point 3
3.) Social combat is almost as much of a mess as removing social skills altogether, imo, because most social combat systems in WoD are easily broken and allow certain archetypes to have an unfair amount of control over the trajectory of the game. This is less of an issue in 2E, but still, be careful about solving things in that way
4.) Finally, @Ganymede, I saw your comment about being able to manipulate and outwit other players, on an OOC level, and typically leaning towards manipulative character archetypes for that reason. I definitely agree with the sentiment that removing rules in a way that makes social manipulation/conflict hinge itself entirely upon the abilities of PLAYERS and not about their characters, is bad for a lot of reasons. Firstly, it means that players can really only play as characters with their level of social aptitude or less, with their talent for writing also applying, essentially, the lesser of their abilities as a socialite or writer determines how socially capable their characters can be. That inherently benefits more socially talented and academically oriented players; those that don't have a lot of talent for writing and/or the academic background that might improve one's ability to write, and those that lack social skills or even struggle with social interaction because of things beyond their control (maybe they struggle with a mental illness, or perhaps are on the autism spectrum, etc) are at a pretty steep disadvantage, and will struggle to have fun. Furthermore, I think it really does encourage a toxic atmosphere where there's less incentive and fewer tools for players to communicate directly about what's going on with their players, and I think the erosion of an IC/OOC delineation (by making it a contest between PLAYERS) will inevitably create bad feelings, distrust, resentment, and the like.
I've had PVP that was great, where both I and the other person spoke often and openly about the talents of our characters, some of our goals and plans, keeping secret what we needed to but being otherwise transparent. I was open to even allowing the other character to kill mine, in a gambit to perhaps change their mind, and I'd have been comfortable with that outcome. I've also had PVP that was really NOT great, where the other player barely spoke to me and was very opaque, I could tell they didn't like me OOC, and it literally felt bad. Like a weight in my chest, and it made my anxiety and paranoia flare up. We make ourselves vulnerable, a bit, when we portray these characters and open ourselves up to this community - especially when those characters embody parts of us. When other players are hostile, distant, and interested in winning or harming your character more than collaborating or telling a story with you (even if its a story where your characters are in conflict!), it is uncomfortable and anxiety inducing.
Create tools that help players use the tools that are already there, for resolving social skill checks.
ETA: I'm sorry this is so long