So, the first ADHD medication trial I did (mentioned about two weeks ago in this thread) didn't do much for me; the ritalin was a really mixed bag. I was able to focus slightly better, but it gave me a raging headache, so we stopped fairly quickly. I was sort of disappointed and went, "Well, maybe medication won't do much for me after all."
But now I'm trying first adderallâtomorrow's the last day of that testâand then dextroamphetamine. And oh my god this is amazing stuff.
The first day I was taking the adderall, even on a minimal dose, I was able to sit in a 1.5 hour long meeting and actually focus for most of it; yeah, my brain still drifted off on some side track prompted by a random comment twice, but that's way better than the like... 12 times it would've normally been unless I was digging my fingernails into the palm of my hand under the table or one of my other coping mechanisms. Instead, I just sat there and listened and my brain stayed on track. And then I was able to go and start a task that I'd been putting off for like 3 weeks.
(And again, that was on one-third of a full dose. Full dose, I think my brain probably wouldn't even have wandered those two times!)
The downside is that the 5-hour adderall pills only work for me for 3 hours at a time. And the difference between those first three and the last two is stark. Plus, I get a kind of unpleasant headache for the last three hours.
Luckily, there's a very likely explanation for this: adderall is a mixture of dextroamphetamine (which hits quickly) and levoamphetamine (which takes longer to release). So the first three hours is usually the dextroamphetamine, the last 2-3 hours is usually the levoamphetamine. The fact that only the first three hours are effective (and that I have a headache for the last three hours) is a pretty common sign that dextroamphetamine works well for my ADHD, while levoamphetamine is a thing that is Not For Me. So starting on Wednesday, I'm dose-testing just plain dex, and we'll see how that goes.
At any rate, the reason I post this is that if you are ADHDâeven if you think you have 'sufficient' coping mechanisms to function in daily lifeâif you are offered to do medication dosage trials, I really suggest that you do it. Because, yes, I had sufficient coping mechanisms to function as an adult (and a senior engineer), so I could've just kept going. But now I've seen how brains are actually supposed to work, where I can just... pick a thing and start it, much less do so without ending up thinking about three other things along the way, and it's amazing.
(Though I'm told the euphoric feeling of "holy shit I can actually do things what is even happening" superpowers does eventually fade, even as the productivity and focus remains.)
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