Jun 12, 2019, 9:12 PM

Gany brings up a lot of good points.

And the point on 'please don't call out that I'm one of the first / only women' is valid, too. It'd fucking suck to land a good job and then later learn 'yeah we only hired you because you're a woman' (or to be made to feel that way at least).

I've been in IT since I was a teenager (yay internships!) and often the only or one of just a couple women on a team.

When I worked at Verizon, I had a really sexist comment made by a manager. I went to HR. They took me seriously, listened, handled it.

My last job, I had a manager behave in a sexist way, took it to HR, they sat me down with his boss (a woman) and both proceeded to tell me how it totally wasn't sexist at all. I was the only woman on the team (manager's boss worked remotely and oversaw a number of teams; we saw her maybe once every two or three months).

Be like Verizon between these two. If an issue is ever brought up, listen. It may be a misunderstanding ('he said this and I took it to mean...' can sometimes be perfectly innocent but not always!), but you should absolutely never just brush it off.

And make sure the guys on your team watch each other for sexist behavior. They need to be willing to call each other out. Seeing a coworker call another out for being ignorant (whether he meant to or not) can be bolstering and help someone feel more comfortable. And too few people do it. It's as easy as 'dude, that wasn't cool.'

Anyway. Like others, I've been the only or one of a few on teams and usually it's been all right. I feel best when I know I have a boss or HR that I can safely talk to should an issue ever arise.