I want to say that consent in gaming is important, but I feel like it would be almost trite or taken as a duh. I have to say, "It's important!" I can give tabletop AND MU* examples.
Tabletop: I was young and playing with a group of friends. Our GM decided that I, the female of our group, should be put in a semi-sexualized situation that required me to use electricity on someone in a not so nice way to get free. I stared at him for a full three rounds, beet red in the face with everyone else getting uncomfortable because I couldn't bring myself to stammer out the obvious solution and I was too shy to speak up for myself. So cringeworthy for everyone even the GM, who wasn't being malicious, just oblivious. Better to ask someone if they wanna play that sort of game.
I'm not going to name names or people for this MU*, because I don't bear the game ill will, I'm just really disheartened by what happened and wish it had played out differently. People can consent to adult situations like torture in the game, which I was fine with if the role played situation called for such. I don't mind playing the underdog in a given situation, especially if there is a good reason for it.
I consented to two scenes of torture with another player that was in a position of power over mine in this game. I was in contact with the GMs of the time, stating that I was confused why it was happening and that I wished that I could tell this other player that I enjoyed their playstyle, but I wished they would find someone else to 'focus on'. I was having a difficult time physically removing my character from the situation and wanted this player to either slay my character or stop making my playtimes miserable. The third time this player had their character hurt mine, no consent was asked for by them or given by me. I asked for the situation to be looked into and was told that unless my character was horrifically maimed in the incident, consent wasn't required.
I will clarify here. The third injury my character was given was the equivalent of a cigarette burn to the face. I was roleplaying with the other character in question and so surprised at what was happening that I went along with it in the moment before I realized the rule breach. I was kind of panicked and trying to explain why they shouldn't do what they were about to do ICly. It was the responsibility of the person initiating the violence of the scene to ask permission if they wanted to do it and if they had, I would have refused to roleplay it out. The end result would likely have still happened, but maybe the refusal would have gotten across that I didn't want to play that way anymore and it would have been a FTB scene. My character already had two disfiguring injuries from the other character and I was annoyed at the possibility of RP'ing a third.
The official response that I could play off a what amounts to a cigarette burn to the face and that the act is NOT a torture tactic, so the other player was in the clear made me stare at my screen in shock. I lost faith in the game that day, ended up not playing that character anymore and though I really wanted and tried to come back from it, other examples of that mindset made me give up on it overall. I wasn't a good fit.
Consent is important. Ask and ask again. Take complaints seriously. If you are antagonist or even a hero, don't go after the same person time and time again - if they are a great victim/foe, GREAT! Let them be a great victim/foe LATER unless you are actively trying to harass them away from your game. Which may have been the case for me, I dunno. I've stopped even wanting to play MU*'s seriously anymore, though I'm hoping that love comes back.
2019 Monte Cook Games, LLC, so if anyone from Monte Cook Games wants me to take this down, sure.
