The Dark Side of online Role-Playing

[Ghost]

@tek said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Ghost You know someone is being fucking egregious when I'm agreeing with you.

Let's just call it: being glad you can identify who will back you up when seriously illegal stuff happens and call it a day.

I may not agree with everyone about specifics here and there, but at the end of the day I'll always prioritize their safety and their kids' safety, strangers or not.

[tek]

I think @Carex is just being really creepily defensive about their own proclivities and it's grossing me out.

[Auspice]

@tek said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

I think @Carex is just being really creepily defensive about their own proclivities and it's grossing me out.

I told @Ghost this morning that Carex is just a few posts away from full racism at this rate.

I put the guy on block. Unfortunately, quotes still show me some of the shit, but I honestly will not be surprised if we see him go full white nationalist.

[Derp]

This thread is going off into two different parts:

The first one, where @Buttercup posted some actions and made some suggestions about safety,

And the second, where some of the things that @Buttercup suggested feel really problematic for some of us, based on various education and experiences.

You can condemn one problematic behavior without condemning the motive, just as you can realize that a condemnation of a specific action does not mean a condemnation of the entire person.

@Carex is picking one thing out of the list and saying 'this is not cool', though I think that he's misunderstanding what's meant by that.

Carex's point is -- vocal, and not entirely relevant to the OP's situation, but the underlying concern is at least legitimate in a general fashion.

Maybe he's a troll, and maybe he'll be gone. Just another day at MSB. But other people have likewise chimed in about that level of spying feeling really over the line, and counterproductive.

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

[Ghost]

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

[Derp]

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

Well, yes, we could do that...
...but the entire tangent started because the OP posted a list of things and some of us went 'wait, what?' This is one of those things on that list. So ...

[tek]

@Derp Yeah, but @Carex crossed the line when they were all shruggy and like "TSing with an adult is only a problem because it's legally a problem for the adult", which is seriously fucking gross

[Ghost]

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

Well, yes, we could do that...
...but the entire tangent started because the OP posted a list of things and some of us went 'wait, what?' This is one of those things on that list. So ...

But is it really right to do that when their original point what that they basically reaching out to warn people about the danger to children?

HOW the data was gathered wasn't the OPs point. Let's let them have their thread (and let it keep as a future thread to gather info on) risks to children coming near the hobby.

I guess I'm saying that it's really easy to grab a few words out of a post and spiral it into something that wasn't their point, and that I'm sure the "parenting" side of the topic would be a great discussion; just not at the expense of piling onto the OP this who posted it as a result of a horrible RL experience.

It's a chance to support someone after a risk to their kid.

[Derp]

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

Well, yes, we could do that...
...but the entire tangent started because the OP posted a list of things and some of us went 'wait, what?' This is one of those things on that list. So ...

But is it really right to do that when their original point what that they basically reaching out to warn people about the danger to children?

HOW the data was gathered wasn't the OPs point. Let's let them have their thread (and let it keep as a future thread to gather info on) risks to children coming near the hobby.

I guess I'm saying that it's really easy to grab a few words out of a post and spiral it into something that wasn't their point, and that I'm sure the "parenting" side of the topic would be a great discussion; just not at the expense of piling onto the OP this who posted it as a result of a horrible RL experience.

It's a chance to support someone after a risk to their kid.

I'm not against it. Ask one of the admins to spin it off.

[Lotherio]

@tek said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp Yeah, but @Carex crossed the line when they were all shruggy and like "TSing with an adult is only a problem because it's legally a problem for the adult", which is seriously fucking gross

I don't want to get into the privacy vs non-privacy of children and parental rights, but the accusing someone of spying on their kids to see whats going on and adamantly saying a parent cannot not or should not do that ... is exactly what I'd expect a child predator to want me to believe. That may not have been their intent, but it all read bad from the get go in their responses.

[Carex]

@Meg said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Honestly I don't know what you are trying to argue now. Let children TS on the internet? Ok.

I'm arguing that if your kid is on a MUSH pretending to be a blood-slut or a hairy lupus homicidal murder machine then your kid isn't an innocent little angel in need of you saving them by you telling them they aren't allowed to do those things. It's just going to drive a wedge into your relationship because the moment you say your kid isn't allowed to do that, you are judging them. You are telling them their actions are repulsive and you love them less because of this imaginary game.

Instead, if you find out your kid is playing a blood-slut for some vampire on a MUSH or a werewolf or whatever you could show interest, ask them why they play that. Why is it fun. Hell, you could even (And I know this may be shocking to some parents) join them in their hobby! Have them teach you how to make a vampire or something.

Instead of telling them what they can't pretend to do or what they shouldn't think about, talk to them about it.
Maybe your kid is more advanced than you think? Making them feel guilty and forcing them to distance themselves from you even more is probably not the best answer.

You guys keep talking about people grooming kids, well who is more likely to protect their child, a parent who makes themselves part of their kid's lives or a parent who pressures them and drives them into hiding what they are doing?

Young people are going to be horny, stupid, idiots. No amount of scolding, rules, or restrictions is going to change that.
Hell, when I was young the internet didn't even exist and we still had playboy magazines when we were 15.

The idea that you can keep your child perfectly safe and innocent is unrealistic.
If you want to keep them safe and healthy, then be there for them, be there with them.
Don't be the punishment they fear.

That's what I'm saying.

[tek]

@Carex And if you don't understand the difference between a kid getting involved in developmentally appropriate horny shit with kids their own age and getting into stuff with adults that will fuck them up, stay the fuck away from the internet and stay the fuck away from kids.

[Lotherio]

@Carex said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

I'm arguing that if your kid is on a MUSH pretending to be a blood-slut or a hairy lupus homicidal murder machine then your kid isn't an innocent little angel in need of you saving them by you telling them they aren't allowed to do those things.

You're saying if someone plays one of these concepts they're not innocent? I honestly think you've no business throwing shade on anyone's kids in this manor. I thought this started in defense of privacy not saying playing these concepts is wrong?

[Ghost]

@Carex said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Instead, if you find out your kid is playing a blood-slut for some vampire on a MUSH or a werewolf or whatever you could show interest, ask them why they play that. Why is it fun. Hell, you could even (And I know this may be shocking to some parents) join them in their hobby!

So...

...ask them why it's fun.
...ask them why they're playing a blood slut.
...JOIN the minor in playing a blood slut, TSing online with legal adults.

I got a suggestion on what to ask.

"Do these people know that you're a minor?"
"Where are your logs located? I need to provide these to the police."

[tek]

@Lotherio We are just learning a lot about @Carex and their fucked up attitudes toward sexuality that have nothing to do with reality or the subject at hand. They have this weird virgin/whore dichotomy thing going on and they are talking like a literal fucking pedophile.

[Kestrel]

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

Except there is an argument to be made that spying on your children to the degree that they feel unsafe and unable to trust or talk to you will do the exact opposite of protecting them from predators, and instead send them running straight into their arms. So it's directly relevant to the topic at hand.

[tek]

@Kestrel There's that, and then there's what this thread has turned into, which is @Carex saying that kids who rp sex are little sluts who can handle his digital dick. There's room for discussion on the former. The latter needs to be shut down HARD.

[Ghost]

@Kestrel said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Ghost said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

@Derp said in The Dark Side of online Role-Playing:

Ultimately it probably won't change anything. But there are two distinct lines of thought in this particular thread, and that's probably at least worth discussing.

Or a spin-off thread about snooping on your kids.

This one really was supposed to be about online dangers to minors and not about the politics of monitoring your child's online behavior in a way that is healthy for them.

Except there is an argument to be made that spying on your children to the degree that they feel unsafe and unable to trust or talk to you will do the exact opposite of protecting them from predators, and instead send them running straight into their arms. So it's directly relevant to the topic at hand.

Sure, that's a parenting tactic.

But once you've established that they are a minor playing a "blood slut" online with legal adults who are sexually exploiting your child it's not a matter of "Hey is that fun? Wanna do it together?" Because JOINING IN ON THAT IS A PARENT ASSISTING IN THE SEXUAL EXPLOITATION OF THEIR OWN CHILD WHAT THE FUCK.

It's sexual exploitation of a minor.

I will die on this hill.

Edit: I will gladly die on this hill

[Auspice]

15-year-old RPing vampire sex with another 15-year old: OK
15-year-old RPing vampire sex with a 45-year-old: Not OK

Educating your child on how to tell the difference and to feel safe and comfortable coming to you if the latter scenario happens: GOOD.

Being a major court case waiting to happen while trying to insist the latter is the child's fault and parents need to be OK with it: NOT GOOD.

[tek]

@Ghost This is where you have a discussion with your kid about boundaries. We all like to find ways to get our rocks off. Talk to them about the difference between reading a dirty story in a book or on a fanfiction site and creating interactive sexual content with an adult. Explain that even if they don't know you are a minor, the adult involved is committing a crime. Talk about safe ways to explore the things they want to explore.