Autism and The MU* Community

[Too Old For This]

@clarity I have bamboo sheets for similar reasons. My issue with socks lies in the seams and the toe-feel. >.>

[Clarity]

@too-old-for-this Oooh I hadn't thought to try bamboo sheets. That might just be my next thing to buy.

[Ninjakitten]

@too-old-for-this This is why I always wear my socks inside out. Have as long as I can remember. That seam against my toes, nng.

[Too Old For This]

@clarity They are divine. Soft as silk, sleek as satin, and they only get better with each washing! Also, SO good if you're like me and can't sleep if you're too warm.

@Ninjakitten I still can't do it because I can still feel the seam against my toes. v_v I have to be able to maneuver the seam to JUST the right spot. Otherwise, its a sandal day.

[faraday]

@too-old-for-this said in Autism and The MU* Community:

Seriously, if you knew how much time I spend having to find the EXACT RIGHT pair of socks out of all of my socks... I will literally wear a single pair multiple days in a row because I know they fit together and I might just cry if I have to keep trying to re-match all my socks together every day...

I found one model of socks that I can tolerate. My entire(*) sock drawer is just two packs of these. Since they're all the same, I don't have to worry about matching them up. It takes me about a year or so before enough start getting holes, then I just buy two new packs.

(*) We don't talk about the weird special occasion socks stuffed in the back that I hate to wear because they're not the right socks.

[Derp]

They make seamless socks.

https://smartknit.com/seamless-technology

[Derp]

This post is deleted!

[Clarity]

@derp My bamboo ones are seamless too, I love them. They're from this place: https://redfoxsox.com/products/adorbs-alpaca

[Too Old For This]

@faraday I have a model of sock that largely works for me, but they still have to be precisely organized because the toeshape DOES change depending on the foot you wear it on! So like.... I can't put a sock that's conformed to my left foot onto my right foot. Yes, I can tell. Yes, it drives me nuts.

I've seen seamless socks, so far none of them have been made in a manner that doesn't still bother me. And most of my socks are either compression or athletic socks as I'm prone to edema in my feet and ankles.

[Ganymede]

@too-old-for-this

[Too Old For This]

@ganymede ...you're not wrong. I have come to despise socks.

[Ganymede]

@too-old-for-this said in Autism and The MU* Community:

...you're not wrong. I have come to despise socks.

I understand, but I meant that I've come to the point where I get sexual gratification from the slightest stimuli.

[Too Old For This]

@ganymede said in Autism and The MU* Community:

@too-old-for-this said in Autism and The MU* Community:

...you're not wrong. I have come to despise socks.

I understand, but I meant that I've come to the point where I get sexual gratification from the slightest stimuli.

I'll let you know if/when I get to that point. There's a similar but not quite same sensation from stepping out of jeans and into sweatpants.

[Clarity]

Me, pretty much every other day. Or usually right before bed when I need to sleep and I read something and just HAVE to know everything about that topic, no matter how obscure.

[Groth]

I think the most blatant issue I run into in online communities and is usually the most tell-tale sign for me that I am looking at someone on the spectrum is the frustration with not being understood.

You have this idea you want to communicate but it is misinterpreted and in your effort to clarify, you're viewed as obstinate.

The correct thing to do is to just step away but the feeling of being unable to communicate is very unpleasant and giving up feels a bit like accepting this inability as an inescapable fact.

I got asked today why I don't just stop being rude as if it's that easy but it's not. For the most part I am not intentionally rude but I am aware I am often perceived to be, this is a source of frustration.

There are people out there who are amazing at always keeping their arguments respectful and perfectly convey their thoughts and maybe in theory I could learn the skill but it's hard to double check your own thought pattern when at first glance nothing seems wrong from your end.

[mietze]

The ability to have conversation that is clear and is paying attention to what the other person is saying, as well as theability to ask clarifying questions is often very much a learned skill.

It is something that has to be worked at and its never perfected. It isn't easy. Some people have more difficulty in learning than others.

I have an adult child who worked his ass
off to improve his skills in this regard because of the field he wishes to go into. He is also on the spectrum.

It is often helpful to learn to stop devaluing or dismissing as "easy" skills that others may be better at than you right now. But even learning how to speak to people in a clear way that has a good chance of them being able to receive what you're trying to convey is a difficult skill to master regardless.

[Groth]

@mietze said in Autism and The MU* Community:

The ability to have conversation that is clear and is paying attention to what the other person is saying, as well as theability to ask clarifying questions is often very much a learned skill.

It is something that has to be worked at and its never perfected. It isn't easy. Some people have more difficulty in learning than others.

It's something I hope to get better at, though in the meanwhile I need to get better at identifying the right time to drop something.

If you see it happening in the wild, someone looking like they're digging a hole over something entirely unimportant, you would do them a favor by cutting it off.

One of my biggest difficulties is tone, my text is often interpreted as combative or intimidating and I think that's tied up with an expression style I picked up in my teens and I am not sure how to go about changing.

I suppose that makes an advice of mine to anyone with a child on the spectrum to help them develop a style of communication that feels approachable and keep them out of unhelpful habits.

@mietze said in Autism and The MU* Community:

It is often helpful to learn to stop devaluing or dismissing as "easy" skills that others may be better at than you right now.

Few skills are ever easy. It's said that to master something takes 10,000 hours and in my experience that's probably accurate.

It's easy enough to learn the basics of something or another but to become good at it is not something achieved casually. Dabbling vs mastery is an interesting topic but best had elsewhere.

[silverfox]

@groth said in Autism and The MU* Community:

You have this idea you want to communicate but it is misinterpreted and in your effort to clarify, you're viewed as obstinate.

I have one particular online-have-met-irl friend where our relationship has been really on the rocks lately and I think this is what is happening. They come to me with what I perceive is the same issue, though they feels what is being brought forth is unique and different, and I just want to shout (and have lost my patience) "we have talked about this stop it!"

We have had very open conversations. I feel like the act of rebrining up a topic is an effort to pressure me to change my mind and they feels that they are just trying to get clarity and nuance.

With my energy levels for online gaming since the Gray Harbor stuff being so low I am not able to be as understanding and put my feelings aside to be able to understand the actual motivation behind their words, versus the one that I perceive.

My solution isn't a great one. I've have just... pulled away. Not cut off, but limited our conversations. I can mentally know they mean no harm, but it doesn't stop it from feeling like harm.

[Groth]

@silverfox said in Autism and The MU* Community:

I have one particular online-have-met-irl friend where our relationship has been really on the rocks lately and I think this is what is happening. They come to me with what I perceive is the same issue, though they feels what is being brought forth is unique and different, and I just want to shout (and have lost my patience) "we have talked about this stop it!"

I know nothing about your discussion but most of the time I see this played out, the driving motivator is when the neuroatypical is ascribed an opinion or motivation they feel is inaccurate.

To that end easiest way to avoid it is to not try to describe what you think their opinion or motivation is if you perceive it to be negative.

Moving the conversation to something else is fine and stepping back is also fine. You can also try to avoid conversations that cause frustration between you by establishing a rule to not talk about those topics.

[mietze]

Just because someone does not mean to be harmful or is ignorant of the harm they are causing does not mean that there is no harm happening.

Especially when it comes to harassment or obsessive behavior.