Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff
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@buttercup said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Seems like it should be an uncommon situation even if overblown or more frequent. I just (no judgment) in my world wouldn't aggressively seek to change or push that natural emotional reaction out the door. Their minds are still young and fragile.
If it was uncommon, I'd just deal with it, but he has a pretty low pain tolerance is the issue. It's at least a couple times a day if not more. It's like, he'll be running around (which he almost always is, as a very active kid) and stub his toe a little, or bang his arm against a wall, and once I hear either of those things I know I only have a split second to brace myself or have one of my ear drums blown out.
Admittedly, my own tolerance for it is probably lower than average as well, as I have PTSD and screaming sets me on edge in any context anyway, so every time it happens in addition to the pain my nerves are just fried, thus the anxiety about it.
I get that it's how he's dealing with the pain and that it's not deliberate, but boy would I give anything to make him express that in just about any other way.
That said, please don't feel like a jerk. It does actually help to hear someone else is going through it; unfortunately a lot of family in proximity to us treat it like it's bizarre and being really tired of the judgement is another big part of the frustration for me.
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@Ganymede - Is there someone I could appeal to, on that? I know you're not an expert (Unless you are, no offense meant) But I'm not sure who I would talk to about being reimbursed for shit. I'm so over all this BS.
@Cobalt Well, I'm WFH, and the HQ is 4 hours away soooo let's not on the arson
But I did just get told that I am getting training on Thursday to do more of this bullshit project they've got me reviewing cases for. Because they can't keep people. And I have no idea how they think they're going to train me, when I've got so much work - even my boss is crying he has to help with ONE of the projects I'm dealing with. At least he was trained on it first. jackass.
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I gotta say, from all the admittedly incomplete information I have, what Macha is going through at work sounds less like bureaucratic incompetence than a campaign of punitive harassment.
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@greenflashlight said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I gotta say, from all the admittedly incomplete information I have, what Macha is going through at work sounds less like bureaucratic incompetence than a campaign of punitive harassment.
Anyone that engages in a campaign of punitive harassment and expects that it doesn't leave a really obvious paper trail is the top tier of bureaucratically incompetent.
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@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Is there someone I could appeal to, on that? I know you're not an expert (Unless you are, no offense meant) But I'm not sure who I would talk to about being reimbursed for shit. I'm so over all this BS.
I'm definitely not an expert on what your company does, but here's what I would do.
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Start documenting everything on your own by beginning a diary in which you write down every dickish, passive-aggressive, micro-aggressive thing the people around you do.
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Make an appointment to speak with someone in HR in confidence. At the appointment, let them know what you would like and why in person and then reduce that request to writing. Make sure your HR person gets the written request.
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Keep poking HR for what you want and why you need it on the regular. Make a 14-day task in Outlook for it.
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If no action is taken on your request for reimbursement or accommodations within three months, send what you have to the next person above your boss.
This sounds like escalation and it is. It is a steady, formulaic campaign of what I call "personal advocacy." If at any point you get a pointed response or suffer an adverse employment action -- get turned down for a raise; get turned down for a promotion; get denied personal leave; etc. -- that's when you send what you have to an attorney.
That attorney will have a field day.
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@ganymede Sadly, they're smart enough to avoid putting bullshit in writing. I didn't get my promotion I should have this summer because of my 'talking to' In January - which was about my ADHD. They didn't put anything but 'talked to Macha about how she's handling WFH and productivity concerns.' Nothing like what ACTUALLY happened, or what their 'concerns' were.
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@macha You could try requesting things explicitly in writing. Your documented request coupled with their refusal probably says something about them.
Or do a defensive documentation thing like an email saying: "Just to follow up on our conversation on <date>. Just to confirm, we agreed <things>." If they email back to confirm or deny, you'd have some documentation.
Good luck. Sounds like they're horrible.
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I was just talking to my co-worker on the phone, and mentioned all the input you guys have given.
He is so on that train. He's sick of them piling work on us, and we've gotten NOTHING to help us. Not even the offer of a second monitor, like we have in office, because they think it's necessary. -
Of course, I've been messaging back and forth all afternoon with a guy who wants to sell a sort of soap I can make. Man doesn't understand a thing about soap-making, though, so I am having to explain a LOT of things. Patience is a virtue I am trying to manifest so hard right now.
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@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Of course, I've been messaging back and forth all afternoon with a guy who wants to sell a sort of soap I can make. Man doesn't understand a thing about soap-making, though, so I am having to explain a LOT of things. Patience is a virtue I am trying to manifest so hard right now.
Make me that soap that doesn't require fat or lye or saponifocation. Also I need it in two hours. And we need to talk about your prices.
Just feel lucky I choose to do business with you at all, ungrateful peasant.
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@derp He hasn't gotten like that, yet. But now he's stopped responding soooo I might be SOL any way you look at it.
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@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Sadly, they're smart enough to avoid putting bullshit in writing.
This isn't about them putting it into writing; it's about you putting it into writing. What you put down? Is evidence for an attorney to use. Because people who are looking to commit fraud don't usually create a mountain of their own evidence to use. That sounds like a person who is tired of taking shit.
I didn't get my promotion I should have this summer because of my 'talking to' In January - which was about my ADHD.
Under the McDonnell-Douglas test, you bear the burden of showing that you suffered an adverse employment action connected to your disability (pardon the word, it's just what lawyers call it). The burden of proof then shifts to the burden to demonstrate a non-discriminatory reason for not giving you the promotion. Chances are, they did not document the reasons for which you did not get the promotion. So you have the advantage if you put into writing what happened, and later testify to the same.
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I am in the ER for dehydration from a gastric bug. I'll be fine, but the nurse wants a urine sample from me and I'm trying so hard not to say to her, "I love your optimism but I need you to temper your expectations."
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@greenflashlight said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
I am in the ER for dehydration from a gastric bug. I'll be fine, but the nurse wants a urine sample from me and I'm trying so hard not to say to her, "I love your optimism but I need to to temper your expectations."
Ok, this made me lol and I needed that this morning so thank you.
But also sorry that you're in the ER>
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@greenflashlight Recover soon!
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Just got a call, doing a LOT of what I currently do, on a possibly better schedule, for more money per hour. AND they will send me equipment.
Dear gods, I hope.
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@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Just got a call, doing a LOT of what I currently do, on a possibly better schedule, for more money per hour. AND they will send me equipment.
Dear gods, I hope.
Sending best possible vibes!
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@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
Dear gods, I hope.
I'll do what it takes to get that job for you!
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I wasn't sure where to post this, I don't really have a social media presence to speak of, my experiences with Facebook largely turned me off the various platforms.
I was hired on to a really great company ten days ago. Three days into the training period, I was pulled aside and told that I was being let go. No explanation was given, my things were collected and brought to me, and that was that. The thing is, I had quit my previous position banking on this new job to help pull myself and my son from the 'just barely scraping by' situation we'd been in. I've spent the last week calling in every favor, family member, and loan company that I can think of... and I'm still going to be short for this month's bills. Many of my creditors are willing to work with me, but I'm not eligible for a full deferment for some of them. So I'm asking for help. I started a GoFundMe. I'm doing what I can to spread the word, but any help that people here can offer in getting it around would be super appreciated. Thanks guys.
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Duuuuude, that suuuuucks.
They didn't even give a reason? No exit paperwork or anything?Racism isn't Tinkerbell. It doesn't need you to believe in it for it to exist.
