Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff

[Macha]

Update: Rheumatology office called. Told me to follow the Neuro's desired plan (AKA no tylenol for a month, which leaves me with no pain relievers at all) and that he did not feel Medical MJ was something to be considered at this time.

Me to the nurse: Okay then, ask him what the hell he wants me to do for pain, so I .. oh, I don't know, can live and function and work? (I did not raise my voice, or get a snarky tone. I am well aware the nurse does not make these calls. I did say it in a joking sort of way, because I poke fun at this shit to keep my sanity)

Nurse proceeds to tell me not to yell at her, and that she doesn't make the decisions and etc etc. My roommate is staring at the phone in disbelief at the way this woman is talking to me. To the point she spoke up and said "She wasn't yelling, she's trying to find a way to get through her damned day!" ... I'm still waiting on answers.

[Ganymede]

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

Update: Rheumatology office called. Told me to follow the Neuro's desired plan (AKA no tylenol for a month, which leaves me with no pain relievers at all) and that he did not feel Medical MJ was something to be considered at this time.

You could try non-medical marijuana?

[Macha]

@ganymede The issue with that is that although it's legal in my state, non-medical dispensaries are not set up. Do I know a guy? Yep. But I need sativas, because I am going to need it during the day, and well.. it's not like he's got that sort of detail (at least he's never shared it before)

And if I am using it every day for pain? It will get WAY too expensive, and medical MJ would be at least partly covered by insurance.

[Macha]

So, spoke the Rheumatologist today. He says he doesn't want me to smoke pot, because it may interfere with the neurologist's 'baseline assessment'. I said fine... how are we going to deal with the fact I have several pain causing diseases, and NOTHING TO TAKE FOR PAIN.

(I am at about an 8.5 on a 10 scale. Rapid weather changes, some storms rolling through the morning, etc etc) Sitting in my gaming chair, trying to relax and be still, actively hurts.

I have taken nothing for pain in almost a week. I am 2 weeks away from my biologic refill, which means the pain is only going to get worse.

I just want to be able to function. To work, to try and live, without crying. (I've done that multiple times today already). The Rheum is going to call the Neuro, to see about the pot.

Fuck this. Fuck all of it. Fuck my stupid, broken body.

[hedgehog]

@macha

They need to be reminded of the Hippocratic Oath. Do you have an allergy to NSAIDs, or a bleeding disorder that would preclude you taking those? I have never understood doctors that prefer patients be in pain. Have you tried kratom? It isn't an opiate, nor synthetic, but does hit those receptors. If it's not an addiction or allergy issue, good ole 222s from Canada have been very effective on my chronic pain, also Nurofen Plus w/codeine phosphate from the UK. Haven't had access to either in years, but they worked far better for my flavor of fibromyalgia than Tramadol did.

Or try delta 8 THC from moonwlkr.com. At the moment it's legal pretty much nationally, and affects the mind far less than it does the body.

[Macha]

@hedgehog Well, I spoke the Rheumatologist a couple of hours ago. They spoke to the Neuro, who has thankfully said MJ would be fine.

So now I will be referred to an office that handles such things, since neither of them do. But the Rheum gave me a phone number to call to tell them that he was referring me, etc.., but he can't remember who the office is (he got the number from another doctor in the office) I call it, and it's a voicemail. But it does not state the office name, or anything. It's a standard automated VM message. So I don't leave a message,

I call the Rheum office back, to try and find out.. but now I need to wait until tomorrow. Blah.

ETA: Most NSAIDS are out - I'm on a steroid. I need to be off tylenol because there are signs it could be affecting my liver, and my headaches may be because of using it so much. I have not tried kratom, and do not think I would. As for delta-8, I have tried it, but I have found the gummies are hard to manage the dose just right.

[kk]

@macha

I am so sorry for what you are going through and I wish that I could more words of advice to offer, but I really don't.

One thing I will say is that pain control is important and that they should be addressing your pain. So I would push for that.

[Macha]

@kk Let's just say I was experimenting, and tried too much today. Yeaaah. It's a good thing I am waiting on a IT fix. Don't know if I could do my job, rn.

[kk]

I had this moment today.

I am a flushed, florid, ruby skinned Irish girl and I had this moment today where I started to cry and it was not a pretty cry, it was an ugly cry like only us tomato skinned when worked up people can do, impressively ugly crying.

Anyways....

I started to cry over the patients we lost to covid, to think about them and remember them by name. I then started to cry for myself too, feeling sad about basically being in social isolation for the past few years so that I wouldn't spread covid.

And then something happened, when I stopped crying, I felt better than I have felt in a long long time.

Its kind of goofy, but I am actually finding it hard to adjust to working only 40 hours and not being on a covid unit. Like I am all charged up for a fight that isn't there for me right now. Like I was feeling lost about what to do when not constantly working - paranoidly waiting to hear about the next variant and being all tense and anxious, just waiting. I even went down dark paths....

well if its not Covid there will be another worse pandemic soon, better get ready, prepare, stock-up, grow anti-viral plants. I was all pandemic, pandemic!

Then I just sort of let go.....its a weird experience and hard to explain with words. I am like I don't really need to socially isolate for now. I had my vaccines, I recently had Omicron, I am not working with covid patients currently. No reason I cannot start to see people again and do things! And I reconnected with some folks and I deeply cried over patients we lost and even let go of some guilt.

I felt horrible that I patient I cared for died of covid while I was out sick with covid, going if I stuck it out, maybe I could have saved him, maybe the agency nurse didn't do everything possible.

And I had been holding on to that and tormented by that and I thought of his memory, I cried for him, I apologized to him and then I felt this moment of having let go that was almost a spiritual experience that is hard to explain.

I do realize there could be another variant and that I will likely need to isolate again at some point, for right now, at this moment, I am no more dangerous to be around anyone else and I feel like I am finally starting to feel from Covid both physically and in my very soul.

[kk]

@macha

Sometimes people under estimate the importance of treating pain. But pain itself can make a person sicker and untreated pain tends to escalate into worse and worse pain. I try to get address pain in my patients while it is mild so that it doesn't escalate into more serious pain. And often I try to think outside the box - position changes, diversion, massages, mild heat or cold, topical pain creams and etc. That doesn't always work of course - but sometimes if I can get some pain cream on a person's knee and get their leg elevated before the pain is serious - I can prevent it from becoming serious and they might have an all round better day.

We are often taught to /tough/ out the pain - but I find that pain people attempt to /tough/ out often snowballs and even delays healing.

The other side of it is of course that every pain pill comes with side effects and draw backs, so it can be a very delicate balance and often care providers are walking a very fine line when trying to address pain.

My best advice is to make sure your care provider knows the level of pain you are and how it is effecting your life.

And I feel for you - I have autoimmune issues and have many relatives with autoimmune issues and it is a hard path to walk.

[Macha]

@kk I have always been one of those taught to 'tough it out' kid. I hate it. I hate how much the pain limits me every day. And yet, I refuse to just give up. At this point, I am going to have to smoke a little bit, every day, just to get through the day, So I am going to have to learn a new line to walk.

[Macha]

I can not fucking win. I had the car looked at by a mechanic buddy (He works for DOT, not a commercial mechanic, so he can not do inspections), before taking my car in.

My emissions test looks good on his system, and that passes fine.

Tells me my ball joint is a little loose, but we can replace it in a couple months, shouldn't fail it. I should be good to go.

I take it in this morning, and spend over 2 HOURS there, to be told it failed for tie rods and ball joint and a light out... but not which light.

They took my sticker and did not offer the 10 day temp they are supposed to. Sooooo I called their Customer Service line. The CSR calls over there, and they give her a sliiiiiightly different story. That they didn't fail for the ball joint (it's on there as a reason) and that there is just a lot of 'play' in the steering.

So they basically told HER that they failed me for.. nothing? a light out, but they couldn't tell her which one (it's not a headlight, I would have noticed). But they told her that they can't offer me a 10 day extension because my car didn't fail due to emissions. And the way it's worded on the DMV website, I am not completely sure of my stance.

I am super pissed.

[Macha]

So today I spoke the Reg. manager. the story on why my car failed changed AGAIN.

So I have insisted that I go to a different location, for a gratis re-inspection. Because this is some ridiculous bullshit.

[Derp]

stares blankly from a state where he's never even heard of mandatory inspections for vehicles that aren't commercial trucks

[Macha]

@derp What state is that, denial?

[Herja]

@macha Probably Indiana, lol. We don’t have any inspections here and it shows.

[Macha]

@herja I have never heard of a state without inspections. Wow.

[TNP]

Agreed. I'd never have thought there would be states without mandatory vehicle inspection for all vehicles. Just this year, my mechanic said he couldn't pass my car because one of the tires was bad. Seems I was badly out of alignment. Sure, it kind of sucked I had to go buy a new tire but it's a good thing knowing it won't blow on the highway. Even nicer knowing someone else's car in front of me passed their inspection too. Theoretically.

[Ganymede]

@macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I have never heard of a state without inspections. Wow.

Pretty sure Ohio doesn't have them either.

[Derp]

@herja said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

@macha Probably Indiana, lol. We don’t have any inspections here and it shows.

Got it in one.